Hi, folks, I would like your opinion on this situtation.

Things have calmed down quite a bit between the current g/f and myself. We have learned to talk things out and to simply excuse ourselves if the other is getting a bit hot under the collar. It has worked very well and the relationship is MUCH smoother. But now a new issue has emerged.

We had been planning to take a European vacation next year together. Unfortunately, the g/f was recently laid off from her job. She found a new one, but at about 30% less pay.

Because she does not have as much money to spend, she told me we would have to cancel our European Vacation plans. I have offered to pay her airfare to Europe next year to help out as well as any other transportation needs we have in Europe (taxi, trains, rental car). I can afford it as long as we don't travel first class all the time. She can afford her share of rooms and food if I pay the rest. Besides, I have airline miles I want to use before they become even less valuable. She politely refused my offer saying we should plan a less expensive vacation nearby, perhaps the Western states or Canada. Something we can do by car.

I should point out at this time that she has traveled extensively in Europe when she lived there for almost 10 years with her former husband. I have only been there a few times and I really want to go again next year.

So I suggested to her that since she refused my offer, I think I would just go to Europe myself IN ADDITION TO ANY TRAVEL WE DO TOGETHER NEXT YEAR. I am not replacing a vacation with her just adding an additional one for me. I am fortunate to have the time, airline miles, and money to do both.

She is not happy with that idea at all.

Your thoughts. ?????

My thought is...you're not married, so do as you please!

I'd say keep the offer on the table to pay her ticket, but stick to your plan to take the vacation regardless. She can accompany you or not. She's not married, either, lol.

PLEASE take your vacation. Don't let her manipulate you. Take your vacation. If she doesn't like that, too bad. It's a good indication of what you have to look forward to if you marry.

Go to Europe...ask a friend to go with you if she won't go. Heck...I'll go! LOL

I agree with Cat...don't let her manipulate you.

Why doesn't she want you to go to Europe without her?

I too feel you ought to go if that's what you want to do. You can explain in a nice way that you understand her inability to make the trip but that it's something you were really looking forward to.

I wouldn't leave the offer to pay more of her expenses on the table for long, especially if you're willing to take two trips. Either she is willing to accept your generous offer or she is simply being manipulative which others have pointed out.

No. I'm curious Auto, why do u keep ignoring the ? She sounds insecure and controlling.....mind u, my perception has been formed by the picture YOU have painted of her here. Don't u find that disturbing?

I would definitely go. Maybe you don't go for two weeks if it cuts into too much of your time with her.