I used to have a hard time hearing my wife... but nowadays I make a conscious effort to pay attention to her when she is talking to me. And that usually means putting down what I am doing to concentrate on her... because otherwise I WILL be distracted.
The exception is when I am driving... that is one time when I can do both at the same time.
I think there are two types of listening that we're talking about here. One is taking in information that the spouse is conveying. The second is being willing to make changes based on the OP's input.
I think men focus on one thing at a time. Therefore when the wife talks and they are watching tv or doing some activity all he hears is "honey....white noise".
Exactly...
The second type of listening implies that a husband is willing to be guided by his wife, and that isn't as common I think. It is a sign of a good partnership however. My dh says that I have traits that he lacks so he appreciates my input. However sometimes he thinks my advice is just plain silly and so he ignores it.
This is a very astute point, too. This is actually something that studies say is a sign of a good partnership - how willing the husband is to be guided by his wife. And this is definately an area where I have changed since we "reconnected". In our bad old days, I never took my wife's advice on anything. Nowadays, I appreciate that she does complement me well in areas where I am not as strong, and I have come to realize that I have NEVER gone wrong by taking her advice on anything.
So now I am more than willing to listen to my wife's unsolicited advice on any topic, and I am usually willing to do things her way if she has a strong opinion on it.
And here is the payoff: it was my wife's idea for me to apply for the job I have now. I felt underqualified, but I went ahead and applied anyway, and I am now in a job I love and am good at - and this job forces me to stretch and to grow professionally. I've also taken my wife's advice on changing my wardrobe, and I really like the difference. I feel like I've become a more sociable person in the past couple of years, and more confident, capable and assertive. And all of this, I think, is due to my being open to my wife's influence.
It's like she draws out my best qualities... which she always did... but by being willing to listen to her, I am now actively participating in the process. If that makes any sense...
