Reading through various posts on MB forums now seems to ring a bell or something.
I am 2.5 years in my marriage, we have been together for 8 years. Since the marriage our sex life went really down. The past year was just really bad - many arguments and no sex. I have tried to do lots of initiating and got refused over and over again. He was tired, too busy, too stressed... This obviously made me feel very angry and unattractive. We lost feeling of closeness, too. I felt alone and feel I like fell out of love with my H.
Now reading the posts, I feel a bit of suspicion that all that year long sex refusal might have been a part of an affair. Not sure, if this is true or not or my imagination is just running wild.
No, I have not seen any evidence. We are both very independent and have always been - separate computers, separate passwords, separate accounts, separate responsibility for bills etc. I have not checked his cell phone and cannot check any online accounts. He works late a lot and has weekend emergencies and always had. He also lost about 35 pounds 6 months ago. All these could be signs of an affair, but maybe they are not.
In any case, passed 2 months he has really changed (comes home earlier than in the past, has less weekend emergencies)and made a big effort to reconnect with me (I believe because he is being afraid I might end the relationship) and to work towards improving our marriage. He now really tries and I am having a hard time to adjust to new him.
Anyway, I am just wondering whether this sudden change was because of ending some past affair that was staring me in the face and I never saw it or not. He did not admit to having one when asked. Obviously if there was anything, it ended and now he is committed to our marriage. Should I just try to forget it and concentrate on our relationship? Am I too suspicious for no reason?
