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hmm, more babble I heard....
You'd be better of without me (probably would ahve been at that time)
Get a boyfriend, just dont marry a dairy farmer (um a WS can tell me what I can do? Not to mention when he came home he had a hissy fit at me 'dating' while he was in his A)
OW left her H because he is a w*nker (it took her 4 kids to figure that out?)
OW is a really funny person (OW has bipolar and doesnt take her meds)
OW bed is real crowded with her, me, 2 dogs, 4 cats (why oh why did he think I wanted to hear that?)
I couldnt live with her, I would have to move into a house next door or something (well gee, THATS a relationship to die for)
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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From a well-educated H:
Spoken re. why he had unprotected sex - with ONS: "She didn't look like an easy woman". - during the A: "We talked about it and said neither one of us had an STD. Also she said she could not get pregnant because she no longer had regular periods". Now he says he was "naive" about this.
BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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lildoggie,
OW bed is real crowded with her, me, 2 dogs, 4 cats (why oh why did he think I wanted to hear that?)
I heard (after her initial "admission" that it was only twice, real fast etc.)
Me: Did you use protection?
WW: Yes we used protection. Oh my gosh that boy has condoms stashed all over the place (kinda luaghing with a big smile as if it was a really funny joke I should get).
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Ahhh a new one comes to mind all the time. This one is one of my all time favorites and I cannot believe that I didn't think of it before. It still irritates me to this day, much more than anything else that he said.
"She may only be nineteen but she is acting more mature about this situation than you are." Yeah she is so mature that she is boning another woman's husband and lying to everyone about it. Grrrr.
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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hmm, more babble I heard....
You'd be better of without me Yeah I got this one too. Along with I'm not good enough for you, you deserve someone better than me, blah, blah, blah. Typical wayward words probably.
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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Big K,
A word or three of advice.
Never believe an adulterer. Does not matter how many Fs there are. F’s are irrelevant.
And no, people do not change. Not at all. Lack of change has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone’s Christian beliefs in general. My beliefs and your pretends are irrelevant in particular.
IRL all adulterers simply become better actors. They may learn from their mistakes and correct their actions. They may. The better ones are on MB, in fact. Acting all the better to appear to you what they know you want to see, all the better tell you what they know you want to hear. But adulterers do not ever fundamentally change. (If they did, perhaps your own fundamentalist Christianity would be wrong from the get go. You all would be evolving, right?)
I will bet you I could get your wife (including all her Fs) to have another affair with someone specially matched to her within a month of starting to work on her. Dr H himself says her next affair is inevitable if we just take the time and effort find the right circumstances.
You need to wake up. It doesn’t always last. It almost never lasts.
Yet you blow dense rosy-smelling smoke at new BS telling them it does.
What do you tell them when it doesn’t? What do you tell them when the F! WS does the beautiful dance of adultery yet again, even if years later?
That is when you like to stay quite, huh.
The people who read on this site deserve to know the truth. IRL it rarely works out. And never for ever.
I am sorry. I am. The truth hurts.
But it is better to have the truth. And no one ever gets unadulterated truth from adulterers or Fadulterers - or from foggy BS, for that matter.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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I am sorry. I am. The truth hurts. This is an opinion that you accept as truth. It's not the results of some study you conducted.
Last edited by Pepperband; 10/27/08 12:19 PM.
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Big K,
A word or three of advice.
Never believe an adulterer. Does not matter how many Fs there are. F’s are irrelevant.
And no, people do not change. Not at all. Lack of change has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone’s Christian beliefs in general. My beliefs and your pretends are irrelevant in particular.
IRL all adulterers simply become better actors. They may learn from their mistakes and correct their actions. They may. The better ones are on MB, in fact. Acting all the better to appear to you what they know you want to see, all the better tell you what they know you want to hear. But adulterers do not ever fundamentally change. (If they did, perhaps your own fundamentalist Christianity would be wrong from the get go. You all would be evolving, right?)
BigK, I will bet you I could get your wife (including all her Fs) to have another affair with someone specially matched to her within a month of starting to work on her. Dr H himself says her next affair is inevitable if we just take the time and effort find the right circumstances.
You need to wake up. It doesn’t always last. It almost never lasts.
Yet you blow dense rosy-smelling smoke at new BS telling them it does.
What do you tell them when it doesn’t? What do you tell them when the F! WS does the beautiful dance of adultery yet again, even if years later?
That is when you like to stay quite, huh.
The people who read on this site deserve to know the truth. IRL it rarely works out. And never for ever.
I am sorry. I am. The truth hurts.
But it is better to have the truth. And no one ever gets unadulterated truth from adulterers or Fadulterers - or from foggy BS, for that matter. WOW Aph, This post spews more FOG GIBBERISH than I did even on my foggiest day.
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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WOW Aph, This post spews more FOG GIBBERISH than I did even on my foggiest day. It's frightening - I am worried for his mental health.
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Sorry Aph. I am. I really am... if this is the "truth" that you've experienced in your life.
It's really sad that you have such a horrible outlook. Guess you've been burned pretty bad, huh?
But you're wrong. Dead wrong.
Sharing your "truth" to newly betrayed BS's is also wrong. Why come to MB (as in marriage building) at all if you're view is so dark? To harm? Sure seems that way.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Pur-lease. 
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I'm also sorry Aph. I hope you can work through it. I do disagree with this, though: Sharing your "truth" to newly betrayed BS's is also wrong. Why come to MB (as in marriage building) at all if you're view is so dark? To harm? Sure seems that way. Recovery is process, whether it's marital or personal recovery. You will have your highs but you will also have dreadful lows. What's important is getting through them. If only BS's on the high parts of the roller coaster are allowed to post, how are the newbies supposed to prepare for the lows?
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If only BS's on the high parts of the roller coaster are allowed to post, how are the newbies supposed to prepare for the lows? There's a HUGE difference between a BS posting about the lows in their journey as opposed to posting "advice" that it NEVER works out and that cheaters are always cheaters and really NEVER change. Did you read Aph whole post? Of course BSs need to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. But to say that people NEVER change is just not true.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Wow. That's all I can say about your WW's fog. That and - she's in it deep.
These are the main two my FWH spat at me:
"Well, all your snooping finally paid off, and you found what you've been looking for all along."
and my favorite (talking about his EA: cyber sex, she sent him a naked pic)
"Let's face it, what I did is no worse than looking at internet porn."
That one still stabs me in the heart. He took it back later and admitted he said it out of fear and anger, but you can't un-say words.
Me(bw/fww) 39
recovering with amazing fwh/bh 36
DS 7
DS 4
His
EA Oct '07 - 7/2/08 (d-day)
NC 7/4/08
Hers
EA/RA 6/'09-3/'10
NC 3/17/10
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hmm, more babble I heard....
You'd be better of without me Yeah I got this one too. Along with I'm not good enough for you, you deserve someone better than me, blah, blah, blah. Typical wayward words probably. I too got all of these.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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My all time favourite
"We are just friends, that's all,"
Later on
"OM was just a distraction, I was feeling lonely, it was nothing"
"You telling other people, and confronting OM, escalated the situation you caused me to want to separate"
Me - "You are still married, married women should not date"
She - "It wasn't a date"
Me - "What was it"
She - "We just went to a movie"
She - "We are separated"
Me - "Are you divorced?"
She - "No"
Me - "Then you are still married"
She - "It was nothing"
Me 58 BS
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On the day I was served divorce papers, WxH called 10 minutes after to speak with DDs (he was unaware I had just been served). DDs were standing behind me when I was served and were so upset they could not speak to him.
WxH: Why is everyone so upset? You all knew it was coming.
Later in that same conversation:
Me: Have you ever cheated on me before?
WxH: I'm not cheating
Me: Are you married? Today, right now, are you married?
WxH: (crickets chirping as this one connects)
Me: Then you cheated
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Alph, Again...I disagree vehemently with your generalizations. I sympathize with your situation (though my sympathy is wearing thin). Your wife is not my wife. Your experience is not my experience. You are not me. The only place my wife remains a FWW is here...elsewhere, she's "just" my wife. Through God...ALL things are possible. Why else would Jesus even bother addressing the adulterous woman at the well telling her to "go and sin no more" if she were incapable of it? [rhetorical...I don't really want an answer] That being said, I have no problem with you sharing your opinion here. Everyone is free to be wrong once in awhile  and others learn more from the responses to such nonsense. Afterall, your message is likely the message too many BS's hear outside of MB and your story offers "evidence" that a simple recovery unaccompanied by significant wayward spouse change leads to prolonged misery as well. We CAN learn here that recovery at the price of oneself is NOT the goal, it MUST be done in tandem with the wayward or, perhaps...not at all [a boundary perhaps] Mr. Wondering "The spiritual man in an unspiritual world doesn't stand aloof, unsullied and unscathed, from humanity. He walks with compassion among men, learning to spot good and evil, truth and error — in himself and in his world. A truly spiritual man participates in the world and actively listens, neither avoiding the garbage nor ignorantly accepting it. Sorting through life's rubble, he finds treasures. For, however fallen, this is still our Father's world." -John Fischer
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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This is a marriage building website, as we all know.
Of course there is an abnormally high percentage of "reformed" cheaters here.
In the real world, most cheaters never really change. Not permanently. They either never really try to change at all, or they "kick the habit" temporarily, only to grab the crackpipe later on.
The divorce rate and estimated rates of infidelity speak for themelves.
Divorced
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This is a marriage building website, as we all know.
Of course there is an abnormally high percentage of "reformed" cheaters here.
In the real world, most cheaters never really change. Not permanently. They either never really try to change at all, or they "kick the habit" temporarily, only to grab the crackpipe later on.
The divorce rate and estimated rates of infidelity speak for themelves. I tend to agree with you. However, most waywards aren't even ASKED or REQUIRED to change. If one doesn't change the price of admission then what would be the motivation. IMO, the generalized statistics bear out the failures of both BS's and WS's, alike (not meant to be a comparison of failure). In most cases, adultery is the symptom of a dysfunctional marriage. Adulery is the heart attack which is difficult, itself, to recover from but not impossible, however, the underlying cancer, if ignored and unadressed will continue to metastasize EVERY TIME. Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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