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Sounds like a great weekend!

Ironically as our kids get older, my girlfriends and I seem to have LESS time for this kind of stuff. We used to do it all the time! I miss that...

Just curious but what did your sister tell Drac that she shouldn't have? Anything about V? Hope not, because I think its way better for you to be under the radar with him...

Bugs -- get out there. Do not just date V. If he knows that he is the only one you are seeing, then he will treat this like a relationship. Keep some distance, keep meeting people.
If the timing isn't right -- then it ISN'T RIGHT. V will just have to accept that.

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Morning!

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was just so/so. Saturday was a bit rough, as DSS didn't bring his meds and was pretty wound up. Ladybugs didn't help much, either. Neither of them had much rest the 2 days before with Drac.

Seems he took them out to dinner Wed with his 'new friend', K. K is someone he worked with at the 'other' place, along with the HO. As you may recall, he got K hired at OUR place of work just before he & the Ho split up in June. I've always said that they were more than just 'friend's,,, , sorry to hear that I was right. I'd heard recently that she & her boyfriend were breaking up.

You'd think that he'd have learned by now that you don't fish off the company pier! I have to admit it really hurts. A Lot. More than I imagined and more than I like. Out of all of those women on match & out in the world, why in the world does he have to date someone at work??!!

Yesterday at drop off, both kids went in the house while I waited outside as usual. He came back out with Ladybugs and came over to the truck (I had driven V's truck because I was taking my broken mower up to my dad's for repair & frankly, wanted Drac to see me in it - - - petty,,,I know but I just couldn't help myself. I don't know what I truly wanted to accomplish? Jealousy? ). Anyway, he brought out a new AAA roadside assistance card to me,,,one with MY name on it.

I was surprised, and just said, "Thanks so much". He gave a half hearted smile, and said, "sure". He stood there waiting for Ladybugs to get strapped in. He looked at me a bit sadly and said, "Take care".

I don't understand why he didn't just send the card out with Ladybugs.

UGH!

I've had a mini-Mental/emotional rollercoaster weekend.

V is back today from being gone to Nebraska hunting. I'm sure I'll see him sometime this week. Lexxxy, he is well aware that I am seeing other people. I don't keep it a secret. I really like him, but am just not ready to jump in with both feet the way he seems to be. Especially not with the feelings I've had this week since hearing about Drac's new 'friend'. It's bothered me so much that I have no choice but to admit that I still have much to deal with in that regard.

Well, I gotta run. I am performing my civic duties this week - - reporting for jury duty!

Hope the sun is shining on all of you today!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs,

I get the feeling it's WHO Drac is dating that's eating you up. He hasn't learn a d@mn thing. After everything he's gone through and all the destruction he's caused, he's turned right around and gone there AGAIN!! He's an idiot Bugs. A lost cause. I'm sure you see that now. I hope seeing it helps you get past it. He is not worth this.

and yeah, it's a good idea to keep the men in your life at an arm's distance while you get the last of him out of your system.

I think you're close Bugs, I'm hoping this is what you needed to completely let go.

Take Care



BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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What BC said...

He's an idiot, Bugsy. You are better off without that stupid mug in your life, but it's going to take completely letting go of your hopes for any reconciliation to really move on. It's almost like a chronic illness that you suddenly find a cure for; takes some time for the meds to kick in and eradicate the disease...

You'll get there. I still have moments where I get angry with the Z, but they are few and far between because I have no expectations that he will be like I want him to be anymore. He will be who he IS, and that is actually much easier to live with and accept. That lovely little illusion of control is gone from my life, mostly.

Much love to you Bugsy. Hang in there girl


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I was surprised, and just said, "Thanks so much". He gave a half hearted smile, and said, "sure". He stood there waiting for Ladybugs to get strapped in. He looked at me a bit sadly and said, "Take care".

Just a wild guess yanno, but he thinks you're moving on.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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Hey, Bugs. How was the appointment with Steve?

You need a plan.

Are you Done or are you Not?

My gut reaction to your post was the same as BC's: enough with this loser already. Drac is an idiot who doesn't deserve to be with Bugs.

On the other hand, he's also probably a typical wayward spouse, and I for one believe in the concepts of Fog and that Waywardness is not necessarily a permanent state of being. And you still seem to want him back. I respect that, for Ladybugs' sake as well as yours.

So I don't know what to tell you on how to proceed other than to talk to Steve. Get Steve's blessing to be Done, or get a plan on how to make a final attempt to get your H back.

Plan Bugs seems like a lot of wheel-spinning.

One guy's opinion.

hug Bugsy hug

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Bugs:

I'm with SDGuy on this. You need to get that appointment with SH to sort yourself out.

Drac is fishing in the same pond.

He keeps throwing you back.

No matter how much you try climbing into his boat, he pushes you back out.

Yep. He will tell everyone on the dock about the great, big fish he had. But all he brings in to the dock are the new ones.

Time to swim down the stream.

There are better hooks to feed from.

LG

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Get Steve's blessing to be Done, or get a plan on how to make a final attempt to get your H back.

I agree wholeheartedly. I for one don't believe your done, and that's okay. This is your life. You'll know when you reach that point.

When I read the post about Drac taking the friend out to dinner with your DD, I wondered if maybe there wasn't as much to it as we think.

I dunno. Again, it's your life Bugsy. I'm rooting for YOU and your personal healing, whatever that looks like.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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hug


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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foot-tapping emoticon here........


Fox stickout

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Originally Posted by wildhorses74
foot-tapping emoticon here........


Fox stickout

Yeah, wonder what's up?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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HI Bug! Waiting to cheer you on in whatever direction you choose!

Dropping in to let you know I'm thinking about you!
Rin


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
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She's in the courtroom right now, telling them that she's a Trash Queen who's connected enough to have people rubbed out in hopes that she will get dismissed from the jury.

Unless you broke out the Princess Leia costume. That worked for Liz Lemon.

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She's in the courtroom right now, telling them that she's a Trash Queen who's connected enough to have people rubbed out in hopes that she will get dismissed from the jury.

Oh that's right. If she did get picked, I hope it's for a divorce trial with a WH. whistle


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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Hey everyone!

I've been in the courtroom, and yes, I've made it clear that I am the Queen of Trash. One of my fellow prospective jurors is a competitor at the 'local ' level who knows Drac! Haven't gotten past the general discussions with him to see what he thinks/knows about Drac & I don't intend to! What are the chances of having someone else in the biz in the room?

Oh, I did mention about my connections when it comes to 'disposal' - it came up that Drac & I still work for the same company and I said yes, I'm still working on getting that 'disposed' of! ha!

I don't know yet if I'll be picked for this jury. It's an injury case in which the plantiff is going to be asking for
20 Million in damages,,,,so they are taking a whole lot of time in questioning the jurors.

I hope to know after lunch if I'm on the jury or not. If so, it's going to take at least until next Thursday before we get the case to deliberate!

I've really set aside my 'personal' thoughts for now. I don't have a 'plan' one way or another on any next steps. My 'spare' time has been spent keeping up with work and finishing up plans for Ladybugs Birthday Sleep Over Friday night. Yep, she's turning 8 and I'm having 5 little girls overnight. So, I'm totally focused on arranging the mani/pedi part of the party, along with a few games, prizes, etc.

Am still seeing V, and a few others from time to time. Nothing especially new to report on that front. Just taking it a day at a time.

I did have an email from Drac first thing Monday a.m. "What are your plans? I understand Ladybugs is having a sleep over. Are you wanting to have DSS over Saturday for a family party? I'm not trying to get in your business, just trying to make a plan for the weekend"

My take on that was him wanting to get DSS off his hands for part of the weekend. My friend's all say that he IS trying to get in my business. My answer to that is 'whatever'. He did ask last week if he can keep Ladybug Sunday night because I'm having her Fri for her birthday on what would normally be one of his nights. I replied to that email with "k". I couldn't come up with a shorter reply!! ha!!

Well, gotta run. Back to performing my civic duty!

Hope to catch up with you all later - hoping I'm not picked for the jury!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

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Yep, she's turning 8 and I'm having 5 little girls overnight.

Get plenty of rest before the party-- you're in for an all-nighter. My daughters had sleep-overs when they were little and it was chaos but boy was it fun!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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Yep, she's turning 8 and I'm having 5 little girls overnight.
*shudder*

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Hi Bugs,

....am here cheering you on along with everybody else!

hugBUGS hug


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PLAN D: finalized!
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So what's up Bugs? Did the sleepover do you in? Did you get picked for the jury? Huh? Huh? Huh?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Hey Bugs,

What's happening in your world President GODDESS?

kiss pray hug

Last edited by QueeniesNewLife; 11/21/08 12:03 AM.

BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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