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It has been a year since the divorce. I have gone through many ups and downs. I have recently found oput that she has found "the one" again. This would not bother me in the slightest bit except I have had no luck at all with women. I had 2 dates with one girl but ended that because she simply could not trust me. It was merely 2 dates where does the trust start that early anyway? Where does one go to meet decent people in a hurry? I have so little time but would love to meet new people. I have gotten so bad that my friends are calling me the "40 year old virgin" Im only 30! Help
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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Since when is dating the measure of success or recovery? People heal at their own rate. It has been a year. So what? Regardless of the reason for your D, chances are her "one" is still a rebound relationship anyway. Don't worry about her. The hardest thing to get about divorce is that you are no longer attached to her. She's on her own. You are on your own. What you do doesn't affect her and what she does shouldn't affect you.
This is the time to "find yourself" which is a stupid statement, I know. Take up things that are interesting to you. Find fulfillment in yourself. When you do, the women will be standing in line. But you have to get there. Forget what your friends are saying - that's not helpful at all. Do things that make you happy - to make yourself happy - not to meet women, fast or otherwise.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Agreed.
This is about YOU, not the women you'd like to meet. The only way to be happy in love, is to be happy with yourself.
What counseling have you done since the divorce?
What new hobbies have you started?
What organizations have you joined?
What classes have you signed up for?
What church are you going to?
What volunteer organizations are you now a part of?
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Where does one go to meet decent people in a hurry? I have so little time but would love to meet new people. strip club
FBH, 39
Now a primary custody dad
New life began June 2008
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I had 2 dates with one girl but ended that because she simply could not trust me. It was merely 2 dates where does the trust start that early anyway? Trust you to what?
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Now to respond to all of this!
First of all- strip club! I know a few but just not the right kind of people seem to be there.
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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As for the 2 dates she seemed to think that i was up to no good when I was merely enjoying having company. My thoughts hardy even got to the "no good" part
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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This is about me I understand that and trust me I have been pretty selfish and had alot of fun but it just seems to be missing something. As for the rest of the questions sadly I have time for none of the above.
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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This is what I have been going on for a while and I guess I just need some coaching to help me through the loneliness. As for finding myself I have gone back to who I was before all of this mess. Sadly that person was then and is now quite the loaner.
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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This is about me I understand that and trust me I have been pretty selfish and had alot of fun but it just seems to be missing something. As for the rest of the questions sadly I have time for none of the above. Why do you not have time for anything? If you have time to go on a date, you have time to invest in improving yourself. If your dating is missing something, it's probably because you're being shallow about what you want. My BIL dates only beautiful women; he throws money at them to get them to date him. Yet he's still single at 50 because that's the kind of woman he chooses to date. Do you only pick the 'cream of the crop' when you ask someone out?
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Well I am at work for 9 hours a day then add 3 hours worth of commuting. Add sleep to that and basic personal maintantence and my typical day just vanishes. I just need to figure out how to quickly speak to and evaluate any potental mate. As for my standards they are mostly mental not physical. Beauty is so subjective that I never really know what attibutes will peak my interest. Just healthy intelligent non-smoking women of any race, color, or creed.
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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Are you going to turn into a pumkin at midnight?
Enjoy life. Date for fun. You do not have to find the right one. There is no deadline to do so. Let on of your fun dates grow into some thing.
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Can you find things to do near where you work? Do the fun stuff, and then commute back home? Or find a closer place to live?
A while back I was having problems in a neighborhood I lived in, and my (rich) friend told me to sell the house and move. I was surprised, said this is my house! I waited for this house for years, it's my baby! She looked at me (she of having lived in a dozen houses in 20 years) and said, 'It's just a building.'
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Well I am at work for 9 hours a day then add 3 hours worth of commuting. Add sleep to that and basic personal maintantence and my typical day just vanishes. I just need to figure out how to quickly speak to and evaluate any potental mate. As for my standards they are mostly mental not physical. Beauty is so subjective that I never really know what attibutes will peak my interest. Just healthy intelligent non-smoking women of any race, color, or creed. Sorry - I don't buy it....I work a 9 hour day also, have a 2 1/2 hour commute, sleep 7 hours a night, take care of my two dogs, yardwork, dishes, feed myself...etc. I also volunteer at church, and for my local community. There is still a night a week or so for ME - to get out, dinner, dancing, dating....etc. You just have to fit it in. Laura
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