Life with the OM has not turned out as good as she thought it was going to be. The foggy fantasy period has expired. The EN's are not being met and she is realizing that she made a huge mistake.

.02

I do have it in me for revenge. But I could never do it. Like you said, the OM doesn't care. He's laughing at me right now, and anything I try to do against him will just make him feel more right. I am passive aggressive and really couldn't do anything to purposefully hurt my XW.

I still do care and feel for her, and it has taken some time to bury that feeling away. It would make me feel good and it would be for me to do something against them, but it just isn't me.

So, by what you are all saying.....
1. She is finally seeing and realizing what she did. That is was wrong. And she is looking for forgiveness from me.
2. That the OM and her are having problems and she is just checking to see if I am still there whenever she want.
3. She is just crazy. This is my thought of it.

She has called 3 times yesterday. She is having a family problem and wants me to go to a breakfast tomorrow morning with her, her mom, and someone else in the family. Not sure what to do about this. I haven't talked to her or seen her in almost 2 weeks. This is through messages that she leaves. I haven't responded yet either. She also wants us to go together with our son for Halloween on Friday.

I don't know, she is confusing me again.

Thanks,
Rummi

Just say no.

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner.

The proverbial ball is in your court.

Nothing. Weather you want your X-wife back or just want her punished, do not respond YET!!

Ok... thats diferant. I would agree to any time I could get with my children. If you go, be polite and freindly to her. But keep the encounter about your son, not about you and her.

I would tell her No on both occasions. No b/c you are not her FAMILY in the first instance. And No on the second b/c you should go out with your son alone in the second. She is just using your son to weasel back close to you.

Hon.

She's using your child as an "in."

If you've not spoken to her in a few weeks, she needs her Rummi fix.

Tell me. Do you want to be her next OM or do you want to get off the ride that is Mrs.XRummi?

Rummi,

You may be confused, but she is almost dillusional. She has OM, she divorced you for OM, and yet she wants to hook up with you as a "friend", as someone to help HER family, as someone that she can rely on??????

By the way it was MiM that posted that amazingly succinct description of how a predatory male sees a woman. Man, it gets right to the point.

I think you have a life to live, live it.

God Bless,

JL

Now, see, your analysis shows how you FEEL about what she wrote...difference there!

I could have written that for you!!!!!


So, here's a response for you to her email, if you just want a nice little Plan FU. I will keep it pithy.


EX,

You're the EX-wife for a reason, because you had an affair, and are still in the sack with the other man. I can't consider your apology even close to real as long as you still sleep with that piece of crap.

I was wondering why you sent your oh-so-heartfelt apology and words of love to me at this point in time. Then it came to me - maybe you can now "feel my pain" because your OM is cheating on you now, and perhaps you are getting a taste of your own medicine. Don't ask me for sympathy, because I am busy working on getting over what you did to me, and I'm not really full of advice for someone else right now.

As for us being "friends" in the future, well, don't get your hopes up. I am very choosy about my friends, and frankly, they are honest people who do not betray me. They are also people who not only ask for forgiveness, but are willing to actually work toward restitution for their acts against me and look for ways to repair the relationship. They most certainly do not beg my forgiveness while continuing to betray me at the same time - only a fool would consider such a thing, and would never be in the running to be my "friend".

For now, since we are tied together through a beautiful child, I will continue to be civil. Because of that child, I will respect you as a person always in his presence. Do not ever expect more as long as your affair continues.

Well, I still haven't called, wrote or responded to anything she has said this week. Going to just keep going the way that I am going. Living my live for me and my son.

I told her months ago that I have nothing to say to her if it is not about our son. It's going to stay that way. It's been hard to build this wall to keep her out of my mind. She's not about to break it now.

I don't even want to respond with an FU. Because if I did, then that lets her know that I am still thinking of her, even if angrily. I am doing well and happy enough starting over. I'm not going to let her get to me again.

I really do hope that the OM is cheating. Maybe she will get to feel even a little shred of what I have. Not my problem anymore.

Thanks,
Rummi

BTW: YOU TOTALLY ROCK!