This is pretty much me venting so respond...or not, lol.

My divorce papers will be here by Friday, hopefully. Read my signature and hopefully you will understand why i decided to do plan D.


My WH has made my and my DD's life a living he** recently, to the extent that today i am taking our things and leaving the house since WH will not. He is fully engaged in a PA and has been since August. If the past couple of months weren't bad enough, the past couple of weeks have been horrific...i could tell (and will if prompted!) stories that would curl your hair.

I wonder if any other people have dealt with this; after filing papers or making the descision to divorce your WH that they ramp up the A, throw it in your face, are very VERY angry/verbally abusive all the time??? I feel like WH is a stranger now and it's kind of scary how far gone he really is.

My WstbxH did the same thing. He figured once the A was out in the open that it was okay now and no longer adultery. He even brought her to my baseball games and flaunted her in front of me. He voluntarily left the house so I didn't have to move. Once gone, I was able to go into a modified Plan B (same as the MB plan b without the letter). Things have been much better for me since I'm out of range of his abuse. When do you move? Hang in there - it does get better.

Tabby - wow, talk about flaunting for you...that is just beyond ridiculous. funny thing is i can see my STBX doing something like that too, so sad.
the worst two i can come up with lately are -

1.) took the day off recently and i found out later he took OW and her 3yo DD (OW is married BTW) to the zoo for the day
i confronted him & he said yeah? so?

2.) has taken to talking to OW on the phone and texting openly in front of DD and i - oh, on DD's laptop as well which is especially nice.

We don't have anywhere to officially move yet so are staying with friends for now..i am praying i can get him to leave after we receive and he signs the divorce paperwork on Friday.

Thank you so much for your response

My WstbxH's OW was also married and has custody of her DD7 so they all live together now. I feel very bad for the kid. OWH didn't stand a chance. Society here doesn't give a hoot about adultery. My only saving grace is he wanted out so quickly that he didn't take much and willingly signed off on everything. Had it gone to court, we would have had to split everything 50/50.

It was so horrible when I was at your stage, though. His behavior was so ugly - I don't know what happened to the man I originally married. It literally was abusive. I was afraid I would miss him, but you know, I do okay now. There is a period of time when you have to adjust to being alone and you feel overwelming loneliness. But you also get certain freedoms. One thing I did early on was buy a ping pong table for the spare room in the basement. He always said the room was too small for one and wouldn't even entertain a discussion on the subject. So I went and got one. Assembled it myself (with a power drill and everything!) and guess what - it fits perfectly!!!! I remember feeling so victorious about that - it was a very liberating feeling.

Funny thing is, now that I'm moving, I'm selling the ping pong table with the house. It's okay. I actually haven't played since Christmas. It served it's purpose and now I can move on to other challenges.

It does get easier but it doesn't really start to until you are out of there.

oh Tabby, you give me some hope...but you are right, at this stage it is horrible, and yes i do not know what happened to the man i married...
or actually the man who 3 months ago would leave me a vm every morning telling me he loved me...it is so hard to wrap my head around the fact that now my DD and i are leaving our home just so we can escape his continued verbal abuse and humiliation.

I love your ping pong story - one thing i told my best friend is that as soon as i can move back to our home (that's in our agreement thank god) i am going to completely re-do our bedroom into something fabulous and beautiful and something that will have NO resemblance to the room i once shared with STBX.

Sounds like a great idea! Maybe what you could do now when you feel down about things is go through some home decorating magazines and start making plans. So when he says something cruel you can tune him out and start thinking about how much better those new curtains are going to look! You can even respond to his most idiotic statements with things like, "I think that down duvet will go perfectly with the new lampshades" and leave him scratching his head for a change!