First, I am 52 years old married for 27 years. My wife suffers on and off from depression which was mostly on for the past 5 years and the marriage has been shaky. She is a college professor and I found out at the end of July that she was having an affair with a college student 30 years her junior. To top it off he suffers from schizophenia.

The physical part of the affair lasted for about 3 more weeks after confronting her on D-Day. Then he had a break down and wound up in the hospital after confessing his relationship with a married women to his priest.

They continued to see each other for a few more weeks until they agreed to break it off or so I thought. I am beginning to gather enough evidence which suggests this is only a waiting period to get everyone to stop being suspecious. Then it appears they intend to continue the relationship. I'm not completely sure that he is on board, but he is so weak emotionally and my WW is a very strong person when she wants to be. Basically, she will get her way if she can.

As of yet, I am pretty sure they have kept apart so how would I confront this. Wait until it starts again or try and nip it early. She has hinted that I should allow them to be friends (NO WAY) and has not been remorseful.

We have an adult daughter (who knows everything and refuses to talk to her mom) and twin 11 year girls who so far appear not to know anything.

Thanks for any help

Bob

First you need to expose to her school and then to his parents. But then you need to determine where your line in the sand is and what you will do if she crosses it again. By your own words she is not remorseful and is poised to do it again if not with this kid then another.

You need to expose WW at the school, her parents, and siblings. Then expose the OM's parents.

I agree. Expose to everyone in key positions...the school, her friends, her family, his family. In particular, I think it's important for his family to know. It borders on abuse for your WW to manipulate a man with such a fragile emotional state and so young. His family should know about it so that they might be able to protect him if he cannot.

Be prepared that your WW will not be happy with your exposure and will probably blame you for all of the problems that it creates. Remember, you are THE MESSENGER. The truth is already there and it is something that SHE created. She needs to take ownership of it. Just be prepared for her to get upset with you.

Good luck. Expose now, expose to all, expose swiftly.

MogiSola

Another thought...

When your WW does get upset about the exposure...be prepared with your Plan A. You need to have a response that lets your WW know that you love her and that you are fighting for your M.

MS

I think that your situation merits special measures.

Certainly disclosure to the institution wherein she works is essential. Her students have a right to protection. That institution needs to be aware of this immediate and potential liability.

I suggest that you would immediately contact the Harley's in order to manage this. No offense to other posters, but this may require a professional guide.

My heart goes out to you.

Please keep in contact with us - especially when you find need to vent.