Is there anyone out here that is are is living with your x tell we sell the house ,I wouild love to get back with her so what is the best way to do this . We have been divorced 2 months she gets in a fog most of the time tells me get a GF because she is going to start dating soon ,We were together 25 years 2 girls 20 and 22 , she is 46 me 47 . There is a guy she is talking to at her work . What is the best way to win her back I GAL I work out I cannot get my own place right now nor can she .Let me hear something

Tell us your story.

Also most women don't leave unless they have new man lined up.

Read up about plan A on this site. Then do it. It will show her how you have changed and make you appear attractive to her. Don't beg, act clingy. These things are turn offs.

Why did you get divorced?

If you have your own lawyer get him to stall.

Well about a year ago she came to me and said I DONT LOVE YOU NO MORE I WANT A DIVORCE , I checked her cell their was a guy she was talking to I think more of a EA we all know they can be worst then a PA ,But he got fired from his job things seem to get better but she got in a fog again this time she got her divorce 2 months ago we live in the house together she is talking to this guy at her work he has a GF but leeding her on like he wants to be with her and she is falling for this . She told me if I move out she would pay all the house payments just leave but if I do this I cannot come back .If anyone is or be in this jam coach me .

Well, you gave her the divorce, so there's really not a lot you can say now. That's not a criticism, just reality. You don't have any legal right to do anything concerning her, unless it was agreed to in the divorce proceedings.

I take it you're trying to get her back and think that staying in the same house will do it? Or are you considering moving out? You said you can't afford to.

Yes Iam trying to get back with my xw Iam trying to stay away and give her space but shes got this guy in her ear at work so the chances are not good I do go out also go to the gym ,I guess I was with this lady for so long its hard to let things go .

I guess what I meant was that, since you ARE divorced, it's kind of none of your business if she talks to other guys. Even if you ARE living in the same house.

That said, if you do want her back and are living in the same house, there's no better way to effect a Plan A and make yourself look 10 times better than any other guy she may look at.

Do you know the drill? You eliminate any Love Busters - LBs, things that you do that she doesn't like. That way she has no reason to be upset with you. Do that for a couple weeks. Could be leaving dirty towels on the floor all the way to commenting about the guys she's dating. You need to find out what she doesn't like about you and stop doing that.

After a while, determine what her top Emotional Needs are, and make sure YOU are the one who can provide them all to her. Make those other guys look like insensitive selfish jerks, cos you're doing so much to make her life wonderful.

Reader? Set up a comfy chair and a lamp and a side table so she can drink tea and read a book.

Athlete? Tell her you want to get in shape, can she help you get started.

Romantic? Bring her some flowers for no reason; "I saw them and they reminded me of you."

Figure out those ENs of hers, and make sure you're doing all of them.

This is called Plan A. It's to make you look as attractive as possible to her.

Give it a try and let us know if she responds.

I moved out the day of the divorce was gone 1 month we got in a heated phone call she told me she was lonley so I told myself you better get home so I moved back in witch I could because I pay haif the house payment , The first week went so so the second week we went out to dinner one night we came home and had sex but sense then she has withdrawen from me , I still like to hug her I guess this must stop because she told me to stop touching her.This house will not sell right now so guys Iam in a bad spot.

As catperson said, you are in a great position to win her back. By living with her you can plan A her. No guarantees, but better to work from the inside then from the outside of the house.

Maybe she just sucked you in to help pay the bills. Maybe she is messed up and doesn't whether to stay or let you go.

You have an opportunity here. To stay or go. Use it.

I cook ,clean . do the wash, work ,she wants to start something with this guy I know she is in a PA WITH HIM BUT LIKE YOU SAID IAM NO LONGER MARRIED TO HER.Why would she want to have sex one time and then nothing?

Should we move this in GQ If so would you move it . Thank you.

If you spend some time reading the material on this site about affairs, you'll learn that their mind...changes. It's like an alien is in their body making them do things the old person would never have done. So as long as she's seeing these other guys, don't take what she says or does as truth; just ignore it all, and judge what she is doing, not saying. She wouldn't go for SF with you if she didn't still like you at some level.

But you HAVE to read the material here to see what's going on, and you HAVE to follow our advice and do the steps we're suggesting, if you want to see a change in her. Well, you don't have to, but it's worked pretty well for a lot of people so far.

Now, since you're divorced, you can't really expose what she's doing. But you CAN talk to people in her life and ask them to help you win her back. They can decide if they want to interfere or not. But it's a step.

You mentioned housework, but if you're doing that as far as ENs, you can't assume that's what she wants from you. Her ENs may be conversation, recreation and honesty, and couldn't care less about housework. If so, she won't even notice you doing housework, so it's not adding to her love bank. You have to find out what her ENs are.

I try to talk to her ,I ask her out to do things but I have herad that she ask this guy to wait for her till the house get sold so I think she feels she is cheating on him , But she has limited contact with him do to his GF and our kids ,I THINK THIS GUY IS JUST PLAYING HER . She told me that it is weird for DIVORCE people to live together for me to move .She told me not to do nothing for her .

Hey FTroop,
If you want to get her to notice you, just relax and don't let anything bother you. Expect nothing, let her date and have sex with anyone she wants (I know this is hard, but you are in that kind of situation).

You, yourself, can date others and have a great time.

Be kind to her, but a little aloof, like "whatever".

Don't bombard her with jealous questions or angry outbursts.

On the contrary, radiate with happiness and even better, if possible, make your life such that you are in the actual state.

This does two things: One, you won't fret over her because you will have so much going on in your life it won't matter so much.
Two, women love guys who are confident and cool.

It works like a charm.

Plus, they want what they can't have.

I messed things up BIG time last nite I talked to the guy and told him to stay away he said he would she just will not take no for a answer ,but she found out about this and went off on me so I guess its over for good she never wants to talk to me .Ihave been talking to this girl alittle did I mess up by telling the X about this girl because I showed her the phone calllast nite when we got in to it .She just said you need to get a woman ,but she had tears in her eyes to when she said it. This is a story ...

QFT

What is QFT

quoted for truth

once the ex starts to see you out having some fun she will realize what she is losing

Uh...why is it your business who your exwife sees? (although, if he has a GF and is still seeing your ex, he's pretty disgusting)

Maybe living together is confusing you about you really being divorced?

You humiliated her; I don't blame her for being mad at you.

Anyway, 'I never want to see you again' is exactly what WSs say when you stick a wrench in their plans. If you had read the material here, you would have known that was coming.

Are you setting up a plan to follow the steps here? Do you need help figuring them out?

I need all the help I can get ,I act like we are married still she hates that but its hard when you have been with someone for 25 years . I go out I work out I JUST WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK ,its hard meeting good women when you have not been out there for years ,she works around a bunch of guys so she is better off then me , but them guys just want one thing girls donot see that coming before they mess up a family.