Have already done the LB quizes and EN exercise with my wife (we both have filled them out and talked about them). They have been identified.

We have been quasi separated for the last 2 weeks or so, albeit it unofficial. She has not been staying at home about 50% of the time. Yesterday I confirmed (proof) that there is an OM and that there is an affair going on.

She did not come home last night, I expressed the importance of meeting with her right away last night (did not work and was probably a bad approach).

She will be home in a few hours.

Is there a sample plan A out there? I have read this page (http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html) several times, but I am just not sure how to approach the conversation. I understand the need "Plan A is for the betrayed spouse to negotiate with the wayward spouse to totally separate from the lover without angry outbursts, disrespect, and demands".

Just wondering if there are any samples out there of how people accomplished this.

Not sure now to delete this, but I ended up posting it over on general http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2151806#Post2151806

Plan A just means never doing the LBs and being the one person who can offer her all of her needs met. That simple. You have her answers on the questionnaire, just follow that.

She hates that you never clean your car out (LB): so start keeping your car clean.

She needs someone to admire her figure she worked out at the gym so hard for (EN): start finding new ways to compliment her.

That said, nothing will do ANY good until you expose the affair and get it stopped. She won't even be looking at or hearing you, until the OM is out of the picture. Who will you expose to? Do they work together? If so, you will have to expose at her work, as well as with their friends and families. She will be mad at you, but once the OM is gone, she'll come to her senses and thank you for rescuing her.