My thoughts during this stage of recovery:

The hard part for me has been trying to solve the problems in the M BEFORE the A while dealing with the emotions and devastation of the A today. It's all so much. And even though I KNOW the A was not my fault, it was FWH choice....I think to myself it had nothing to do with me...it ACTUALLY had EVERYTHING to do with me. All his reasons were because she did this...she did that...And he knows now that he only saw the positive side of her as OW did of him. They Really DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER. She doesn't know the H I KNOW and live with.

Overall doing good, we have accepted job and will be moving several 1000's of miles away from here to get away from OW (co-worker) and memories. Although counselor advised NOT to move. I'm going to take the advice of MB not my Psychologist. She says we are moving WITH the problems not solving them. I don't want to move and to me it's not fair but I'd rather keep our family together.

I still have meltdowns when triggered by some things, more like lots of things. Is there ever a point at which you do not look at FWS and think of the A and the OW?

As for OW, the more we talk, the more I know she now means NOTHING to him but at the time she was everything to him. It's hard to understand. I am going above and beyond now to meet his needs. I must say in the beginning I did not want to I was filled with so much ANGER.

Would love a few comments from anyone.

Moving will solve the OW problem.

Yes, moving will solve the OW problem, but her question was, "Is there ever a point at which you do not look at FWS and think of the A and the OW?"

Nearly 2 1/2 years past D-Day, our M is certainly recovered and my FWH is now a model H, and I am a model wife. I would never have thought it possible, but it is true.

Still, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of what we went through, about the way his choices affected my soul, about the OW who went out of her way to be hateful to me in an attempt to keep her clutches in my H long after he ended his involvement in the A.

The difference is that I don't agonize over all that anymore. And I am gratefully aware that I don't. I still look at my dear FWH sometimes and wonder what the h*** got into him, but I know that whatever it was, it's gone and we have a better relationship than we ever had before.

So yes, I may still think about the A and the OW, but now it is colored with the triumph of overcoming all that. I thank God every day that I did the really hard stuff all those months, stuffed my pride, and coaxed him back into the M. And best of all, I believe we will never have to go through that horror again because we BOTH "get it" now.