Question???

If the OM is not married, but lives with his parents. And this is where the WW was/is staying during the afair, and/or this is where the WW goes to continue the affair. Should the affair be exposed to the parents of the OM?

I am guessing yes.

Do you mean informing his parents that she is still married?

Yes, sure.

heck yes!! If my boy brought home a married woman, he would be horsewhipped on the public square for shaming his momma! I would never accept an adulteress as a DIL.

Oh definitely expose to them! I had to expose to OW's parents, and I have to admit, while it was one of the scariest things I have ever done, it was productive also.

Good luck.

How did exposing the OM's parent's go?

There is not a great change that exposing to OM's parents will help you but there is some. (Blood thicker than water, etc.) But there is absolutely no chance it will hurt you.

In other words: a no-brainer. Do it.

I dont like discussing my situation verry much. The advice I get is always extreamly negative. (Leave her, divorce her, time for plan-D) I am not there yet.

So I will keep this rather vauge.

I have been doing a very good plan-A since my wife returned to me 3 months ago. It was going well, still fogy but there where patches of clear. I came home last wednesday to find a "dear John letter" stating her heart aches for OM and that she had gone back to him.

It had all the typical fog babble.

"I love you but I'm not in love with you"
"You have done nothing wrong"
"you will be better off without me"
"I cant be with you knowing how much I have hurt you"
"I know I am probably making a mistake"
"You are the better man and the better choice"
etc, etc.

(I'm thinking of posting it and having schoolbus analyze it)

I imidiatly went to plan-B, informed my lawyer of what was happening, (asked for advice on joint property) and re-exposed to her entire family letting them read the letter she left me.

Her mother started crying and told me that she knew it was wrong, but had prayed that OM would die. Her sisters and freinds just shook there heads and made a few comments about her intelegence. Her dad after reading it just told me "She will be back if you still want her".

Wich brings us to this.
They know she is married, knew it the whole time, including the 2 months she lived with them. They dont know me and I am sure they have been told that I am the devil re-incarnated.

But I called them wednesday night and spoke to OM's mom. I explained who I was and asked if my wife was there, She said yes. I confirmed if she understood that my WW was married, and then asked where she thought my WW had been for the last 3-months. She, her husband, and OM had been told by WW that she was living with her sister. I told her that was not true, she had been with me.

She did not belive me.

(I had been told by WW that they had been informad of the truth. This was a lie, of course)

Thursday I got busy on a little package for OM's parents. It has several pictures of us togther after she left OM and there house. (a personel change in her will unmistakably date them as after her leaving OM) A copy of our apartment rental agreement (personel info blotted out) that was signed after her leaving OM. A copy of a card she gave me that mentions her affair and a copy of the "Deer John" letter she left me. I also wrote a very polite note to OM,s parents explaining in detail where she has been, including dates and times of events that I should not know about unless we where together.

By Friday afternoon my WW was sending me text messages wanting to come home. Typical stuff, I love you, I screwed up, It took this for me to realize it, yada, yada, yada. After using her sister as a 3rd party contact, she agreed to "Do anything it takes" (we all know thats probably a crok)

I never got to mail the letter.

Due to compond persional family tragedies, family and personal health problems, and more responsibilitys and problems than you can shake a stick at, WW and I have had almost "0" time to talk. But unless somthing else goes horrably wrong, we should, finnally get to tonight.



Soo..... Should I send the letter?
Or try and get WW to wright a NC/exposure letter to OM's parents as well as OM.
(or both)

I would definitely send the letter, as it looks like she may keep waffling for months to come.

Are you prepared with the forms of transparency you will require from her to prove to you that she is maintaining NC? I would think of all the things I need and write them down on a list you keep posted somewhere for you both to see.

I think I will.

I gave her a list last night, didn't talk much about it, will try to today.

Agree you should send the letter. And I would be very cautious about taking her back so quickly. I sort of wonder if she didn't just do this to get out and have some fun for a few days and planned on coming back all along. Whatever her motivation, it is extremely abusive and I would certainly take steps to protect yourself.

Sorry this happened, Gack.

Well on the 3rd you were going to mail the letter to OM parent's.
It's the 7th, have you?
Did they respond?
You need to drive the stake through the vampire's heart. Mail that letter today. If you have not yet done so.

Too late, she has been back for a week.

I dont think so, but with a wayword, you never know.

I'm not sure what to think. But I do think she was deeply confused and I dont think she planned on my Plan-B. It was almost like she wanted to see if OM had changed, and see if she would miss me. I'm just not sure, but she has been more like herself since she has returned.

I agree.

I have not yet mailed it.

I know, I know, I need to do it ASAP.

I fully intend to. In order to keep WW from knowing about it, I am having to prepare it at a freinds house. I am also adding to it's contents to make 100% sure they cant deny it being true.

But I will send it.

You probably don't need to include all that info in a letter. You could have had her tell the parents before she came back waht she was doing, but since she is home now either take pics or a video, or have her sign a letter to OM and parents that she is back with you. Or, she could still tell them in your presence. Now is not the time to be wimpy.

Just a suggestion.