ok i have been married 4 1/2 years to the man i love. we have a 4 year old son. 2 years ago, he went to work and never came home. i didnt know where he was until his parents finally called to tell me. he was gone for 3 months with on and off contact. we spent christmas together and then got back together. the other day he left again for a drive and never came home for 9 hrs. he called from his parents to say if i would clean the house more and be in love with him like we used to be he would come home. so he came home and everything was ok. im 23 and hes 22. im not sure what to think about all of this. he tells me he loves me, that he wants us to have a great christmas, hes wanting to buy a house and everything. i have hormone problems bad ones since i had my son and im still not normal. like i wont do much and i am too tired at night to have sex with him. my hormones should be raging at my age but there not. right now i am taking a new medicine to hope it helps. how can i make sure he still really loves me and isnt just saying it? i mean he works 40 hrs a week to support us, he tells me he loves me and he wants to have sex with me and all but i feel as if hes using me, i know its stupid but sometimes when were having sex i feel as though hes thinking of someone else. it just goes through my mind like that. is it just b/c i am still insecure about him leaving me again? i know in my heart that i really love him, i just cant get myself to show him. about my hormone problems, they thought i had pcos but arent sure, i just have very irregular periods, like 8 months long non stop or a year without. he also tells me he wants to have another kid. please help

Explain to him that you dont want to have another child because of your hormone problems. Explain that it won't increase your happiness as a couple because you can't be in your normal state of mind with your emotions all over the place all the time.

Make a conscious effort to tell him that you love him or show affection in some other way whenever he does something positive in relation to your relationship (ie not just right after he takes off for hours at a time, unexplained).

Ask for some help with the house work and ask if you can spend time doing it together.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like its really tough for you right now - especially looking after a young kid.

Also read up here about Love Busters and Emotional Needs. You need to be incorporating those easy concepts into your marriage, and it will make a huge difference.