My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and we now have a 5-month-old baby. About a year before our wedding he had been carrying on an emotional relationship with a colleague and then broke up with me to cement this relationship. This affair took place for one month until she left for her home country when her visa run out and during that time they had moved in together and at the same time he asked me to move out of his apartment even though he continued to see me behind her back a couple of times. I felt really vulnerable and upset as I had just lost my job and I had no savings because I had been supporting the both of us while he looked for a job. I was faced with nowhere to go and fortunately his housemate took pity on me and asked me to stay while she tried to reason with him.


He came back to me immediately after she left the country but he continued to communicate with her on the phone and kept souvenirs from their relationship in plain view. As our relationship improved he cut off all ties with her.

Eventually I also had to leave for my home country and I expected to never see him again. However he showed up and asked me to marry him. I told him that I loved him but I could never trust him again, if I married him he would have stop having friendships with women of the opposite sex and he agreed

Recently he started communicating with a previous colleague on Facebook and they met up with mutual friends for drinks. He offered her the use our parking space of when she needed to travel by train so that she could avoid the heavy costs of the train parking lot. She did this for weeks with out coming to hello to me. When I stressed how uncomfortable I was with this his reply was to offer to meet her in town for coffee with our daughter.

I have since asked him never to again communicate with her and I have also contacted her to say that because she had not popped in to thank us for the parking she was no longer welcome to use it. She replied saying that she was very sorry and even though she had been meaning to visit us she just did not have the time to see us because she arrived back in town very late to pick up her car and that she would stop using the space immediately, I forwarded our communication to my husband.

I feel really guilty about destroying my husband’s friendship and he is quite angry with me. What do I do?

She probably didnt pop in to say hi because she finds conversations with strangers awkward? Or she didnt want to bother you?

But thats not the point.

You should tell your husband that if he lost an innocent relationship then that's too bad but thats exactly what happens when you cheat on your partner. You then have to make some sacrifices in the future to guarantee your partner's sense of security which will need additional protection to what it would have needed if he hadnt cheated.

Hi, you did nothing to feel bad or sorry for. I too had my life turned around and upside down by a husband who cheated divorced me and I was 20 with a 6month old child. I know how scarey that is .How it is impossible to ever 100 percent trust him again. This for me was 15 years ago. and I went dark.(as dark as you can with a baby involved.I also left the state) after divorce and only spoke to say our son is fine. Then he called crying about his mistake blah blah. Well we got remarried, and i have been since then that in no way shape or form is he to ever even consider a female friend. You may speak at work in nice way,but never go anywhere with one or talk personal level. My hubs is fine with it and thanks God everyday i forgave him. I though treat him with same respect as I would never have a male friend.I am polite with small talk but talk like a friend noway. Why play with fire? No thank you. I feel we all must be much more strict with ourselves and our spouses.