I am so sorry to hear the news. I feel sure, from all you have said about Mike, that he would never have wished for this to have happened.

Thanks, Cinderella. I know Mike would have changed things if he had had time.

GG - I'm truly distressed at reading this. Have you spoken to Mike's parents about it? Have they indicated at all what their intentions are? It's not like you two just met and ran off to Vegas for a quickie wedding. Would they be willing to negotiate some sort of settlement with you?

This issue has given me another matter to discuss with Jill. I want to make sure that she and my kids are protected in the event something happens to me.

Thanks, Seabird. However, there's limited things Mike's mom can do. If she refuses her share of the estate, it goes to Mike's siblings, not to me. As far as the 401K, she's not a beneficiary as far as I know, so she has no control.

Generally, as much as Mike was planning to take care of me, I'm pretty much on my own. I'm still better off than many, many others. I'm not losing my house, since it's mine. I have my own car that's paid. Life will just revert back to pre-Mike. That is something I dread. Not necessarily the financial aspects, although that doesn't help. More the emotional stuff, and feeling that he was just a dream.

A good friend of mine is terminal. We'd lost touch over the last two years. I calle her when Mike died so she'd know. She's really sick.

Now I know one of the things I'll be able to do with my own mess. I can be there for my friend and her family.

However, this really shouldn't happen. I'm hoping for a miracle.

It seems that when it rains, it pours.

Anne, have you ever read 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran?

What he says about joy and sorrow is profound.

No, I haven't read it, Cinderella. Thanks for the recommendation.

I love The Prophet. Thanks, I had forgotten about it.

GG, have you contacted an estate attorney? I know there's nothing to be done about named beneficiaries (although you could try to sue for it, on grounds of the sudden death so soon after the marriage, something he intended to take care of, but ran out of time) but a surviving spouse should be entitled to at least half of the probatable estate, if not the entire estate.

Thanks, CWMI. I do have an estate attorney. In PA, I get half and his mother gets have of the estate.Just a lot of the assets will pass outside of the estate.

I once freaked a very conservative Christian when I suggested he include part of it in a wedding ceremony he was performing.

I don't have 'joy & sorrow' typed onto my computer but I do have the section on love.

Here it is.....

Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.

And he raised his head and looked upon the people and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice, he said:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred d bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you ma\y know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To b e wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
Ti rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstacy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

I'm so sorry for your loss~I'm sending prayers your way
xoxoxo

Greengables,
I am an old timer you may remember. I am so sorry for you. I can't imagine how hard this has been after finally finding a true love. I don't know what to say, except I am so sorry for you.

rjd

Thank you, Ms Anna.

And thank you, RJD. I miss Mike a lot, but I've been blessed with wonderful family and friends.

How are you, RJD?

I am well thank you. My wife and I divorced finally, but we remain friends. Our older three are grown and on their own. The oldest is unmarried, but the next two are and we have 4 grandchildren. The younger two, 18 and 15 live with me by their choice. They had a bad relationship with their mother, but that is healing. The 18 year old will be going to college this fall. I graduated grad school and am a counselor in private practice. I checked here after a few years being gone because I am dealing with the sadness and loneliness of my divorce. My marriage was empty, but we did love each other and that is hard. There is someone else in my life. Now that I am finally divorced we can pursue a relationship.

I am very sorry for you. I remember how hard it was for you, and now this. God is a mystery, that is the biggest thing I have learned from my experience. He is love, and his heart is beating for us, but he is a mystery in his ways. I hope you are finding some peace.

rjd

RJD, I hope things go well for you. I know you had a long road to divorce, too. Thank you for your condolences.

Everyone: Please tell me a joke. I'm a complete and total mess today, and I'm alone until 7 pm when my single friends will come over for chili.

What kind of art skills do YOU have?

That's not a joke....it is an 8 minute video link and it's amazing. My son, daughter, and I watched it with our mouths hanging open. INCREDIBLE!!!!

GG, I completely missed this. So sorry for your lose. Hope you made it through VD ok.

I can't think of any jokes.