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Just curious Chris.. is this really a new development, or has she been growing increasingly paranoid/delusional as the A went on?
I've read through the sitch enough (mostly to catch on to the inside jokes amigo..) that it seems to me like it's been a gradual descent.. possibly this latest larger step exaggerated by the fact that there's been little contact at all..
And of course the added stress of XFIL's newest emergency..
Not that I expect you to be over analyzing it.. especially as clear as you are of that madness.. but call it a curiosity... like studying great apes in the wild or something..
At the risk of triggering the desire to clean your sidearm in the living room wearing boxer shorts.. I think your DD is fantastic.. She's truly going to turn into an amazing woman.. and it's obvious that she's no doubt a magnificent source of pride for you.. well deserved from my vantage point.
I hope DD13 grows into being at least half as strong and confident as she seems.
Glad to hear you and DGS are getting on well.. I've been having thoughts myself like POM here.. about when, or how I'll know I'm ready to move on.. sounds like you've got a good handle on things.. your swagger and confidence shines through bro.. and it's pretty cool to watch from this distance.
Take care man.
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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Hi Chris, I'm just dropping by to say that it seems like you are doing fine. I am sorry to hear that XFIL is in hospital. Is this a serious one for him? That could explain why Wayzilla behaved unusually weird yesterday. I could easily dial the wrong number and get everything messed up if my dad would be terminally ill. It must be difficult for your DD to deal with all this. But is it for you to contemplate Wayzilla’s behavior while you are in plan B?
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Why Us,
Chris ain't trying to save his marriage. He traded in his Wayzilla LB for a fluffy roll of TP.
Chris,
You, DD, and DGS are some bad Mother Truckers!
Oh, and I had frost on my windshield this morning! I put on a jacket and everything.
In the past we got into the 30's sometime around late Nov early Dec
Now, we're not getting it until.....October
D@mn Global Warming!!
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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I know that but then maybe he should let go of Wazilla and clear her out of his thoughts.
I am in the middle of a divorce and I know that if I am going to move on I have to get rid of the constant thought of my STXWH and his doings. I can't spend my time and energy wondering what he is up to.
I know that is how my mind works, take it for what it's worth.
Why
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Sounds like the Karma Bus is bearing down on her.
We have always known that these things would end bad for the waywards. We tried to help them. We tried to spare them from the worst of the terrible endings, but they were beyond help.
Now all you can do is try to attempt to protect yourself and DD from as much collateral damage as possible.
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Hi why_us. Thanks for stopping by. I am sorry to hear that XFIL is in hospital. Is this a serious one for him? DD told me this morning that he will be released to go home today so I guess this episode is not too serious. I still don’t know exactly what was wrong other then some kind of intestinal bleeding. But is it for you to contemplate Wayzilla’s behavior while you are in plan B? By the book? Nope. When DD called yesterday baffled about the call with her Mom, I should have put my fingers in my ears and chanted, “Lalalalalala, I can’t hear you, lalalalalala.” But my post divorce Plan B has nothing to do with wanting to recover any relationship with Wayzilla for me. I hope that DD and her Mother can fix things someday but the adultery will have to die before DD will allow that to happen. So I root for its death. The best way for me to assist in the death of this adultery is to never communicate with her by any means again. It really has not been very difficult. I will never take away a single brick from her pallet of guilt she carries. I don’t feel I am in a particularly bad place in my personal recovery. In fact, with work, basketball, DD and DGS, I am feeling pretty darn good. I have never gone to counseling, never took any anti-depressants, experience no particular triggers and have reclaimed every restaurant, day trip and meaningful vacations of the marriage. Maybe I would be a little further along if I never let any knowledge of Wayzilla’s life find me but at this point it’s like seeing a train heading for the washed out bridge over the canyon; whose not going to watch that? I put on a jacket and everything. Oooooooooo………call FEMA the Cajuns are cold.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Oooooooooo………call FEMA the Cajuns are cold. HAHAHAHA!!!! That's funny as heyall!
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Oooooooooo………call FEMA the Cajuns are cold. They should be there by Spring... Mark
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Why_us,
It's tough to be completely dark when kids are in the picture. You always learn a little something about what your ex is doing.
Regardless of how we feel about the ex, they were a significant part of our lives.
You see, I don't remember the ex I dealt with when she went wayward. I remember the good woman I married and the one who I had very intense experiences with such as the mad runs to the hospitals when labor kicked in and seeing our daughter walk for the first time. These are the memories that we carry with us regardless of how we feel about our exes now. So while it doesn't do us any good to spend too much mental energy on their happenings, we are naturally curious. It diminishes over time, but we don't just cover our ears and go "lalalalala" when someone speaks about them because the shells that are walking around now and who are strangers to us once contained the character and person we fell in love with. So that good person is in there somewhere. We're no longer waiting for them in terms of restoring our love for that person, but I can't say that it would be bad for that good person to emerge someday.
In Chris's case, I'm sure he very much wishes that the good mother DD20 once had would re-emerge if only to help seal the hole in DD20's heart over the loss of her mother.
This is probably a sentiment many of us carry with us who have been unable to save our marriages. We'd like to know that there is a decent human being beneath the shell of the person who has spewed venom at you the last few years.
Wayzilla will wake up one day with her blinders off and see how much she's destroyed. Chris won't necessarily want her back, but I'm sure he'd be happy to see that fog lift as far as having the woman he was once proud to have as the mother of his daughter re-emerge and restore her relationship with his daughter.
I think all of us who have been betrayed would like to know that somewhere inside that stranger we've been dealing with that simply looks like the spouses we knew is a person who would turn to you and simply say, "I'm sorry I hurt you."
Some people have been lucky enough to get that, which has gone a long way towards helping them heal.
Many of us have had to learn to move on without ever hearing it.
So you may very well be thinking "good riddance" right now, but someday you may wonder what ever happened to the man you were married to and you hope he pulls his head out enough to at least be good with his kids and perhaps decent to you as far as an apology is concerned.
Chris, you can tell me if I have my head up my butt and got this all wrong.
Last edited by pomdbd3; 10/29/08 02:15 PM.
D-Day 28 Feb 06 Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06 DD6 DS4(Twin1) DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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Oooooooooo………call FEMA the Cajuns are cold. HAHAHAHA!!!! That's funny as heyall! I hold ya'll personally responsible if my nipples fall off!
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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Well, if your mama didn't teach you to keep your shirt on and your nipples covered, that ain't my fault.
Darn 1/2 nekkid cajuns!
Fox
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He's prolly one of them guys who paints his body gold and black on Sundays and takes his shirt off by halftime...
BC, you should spend a winter in Chicago. You'd love Solder Field in January when it's 18 below...
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Geez Pom, you make it all sound so nice and noble.
For me, if were not in the best interests of DD20.871, Gollum’s BxW and their DD3 to have the adultery collapse, I would be very happy to see Wayzilla and Gollum living miserably in a tar paper shack exchanging genital pus boils well into their 80’s until the CDC sets a one mile quarantine perimeter around them with orders to shoot to kill any diseased creature that tries to escape while waiting for the Air Force's napalm strike.
But I’m not bitter.
Last edited by chrisner; 10/29/08 02:50 PM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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You're kidding me? Now my thread is discussing BC's nipples? They don't cover that in the TOS?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Darn 1/2 nekkid cajuns! He's prolly one of them guys who paints his body gold and black on Sundays and takes his shirt of by halftime...
BC, you should spend a winter in Chicago. You'd love Solder Field in January when it's 18 below... Actually, half time is usually when we put our shirts back on. Then we go home and cry Oh, I love it when it's 18 below.....100!
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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I think all of us who have been betrayed would like to know that somewhere inside that stranger we've been dealing with that simply looks like the spouses we knew is a person who would turn to you and simply say, "I'm sorry I hurt you." Well, I thought it was well said, POM.
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Your waiting for Godot.
Probably have a better chance with the CDC and Air Force.
or FEMA.
Last edited by chrisner; 10/29/08 03:27 PM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Read that in high school French class. What a tragedy...
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Read that in high school French class. What a tragedy... This girl ain't waitin for no wayward to get their assterectomy in order to move along. What a waste of spare time and energy. If they come around, so be it, otherwise, you are wastin' your precious time...
Last edited by silentlucidity; 10/29/08 07:15 PM. Reason: I hadn't finished my thought, gall dangit...
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Chrisner, As usual, you make me laugh. But notice that in your own words you said that if it wasn't for DD you'd like the alternative. Kids do add that wildcard and I have to say that if kids weren't in the picture I'd be living in Cali and enjoying life with a very different woman that is on another planet compared to my ex in every way and not even having a second thought about anything regarding the cheater that turned her back on her vows. But alas there are 3 little ones in the equation and she is their mother, so I have to keep some level of hope that there is a decent human being somewhere inside that wayward exterior. I have to keep that hope for the kids and unfortunately have to have contact with her for a very long time to come. But your way of putting things is much funnier. I'd be very happy to fly that jet for the napalm strike.
D-Day 28 Feb 06 Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06 DD6 DS4(Twin1) DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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