Today's the service. 4 weeks after our marriage ceremony when we held hands so tightly and almost broke down.

Pray God gives me strength to get through this.

GG,

I'm lost for words. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you today and pray for you and your girls, and M's family.

{{{GG}}}

Jo

oh honey!
take care of yourself! prayers sent your way!

I pray that, as you are surrounded by people who loved you and M today, you are able to find a small measure of comfort....

GG,

The Lord will be there with you and for you, just ask that of Him.

I pray that you will allow Our Lord to take the pain and carry you thru this sea of misery. You will find peace and with that many things will come to you!!!

Dawn

GG,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May God bless you and the girls and M's family,

We all shared in your joy when you found M and found happiness.
I regret I didn't log on MB more often.

I pray that you found the strength to make it through the rough day today, and for the many to come.

We were just thinking of you and the girls when we went to get skis yesterday.

If there is anything that I can do, please let me know.

May God hold you and your family in his arms and help you through this difficult itme.

S

Thanks, Newly. I've been meaning to call you, but... and then this happened. I'm lucid now, but this is probably the first time in three days. I'm also looking for a new psychiatrist in case this developes into full-blown depression. Right now, I'm in show and greiving. Greiving is so different from depression. I also have the advantage of age: I know I will survive and life with adjust because it has to.


PS: the service was very nice. Everyone said so. I don't remember much except I did stamp my foot at the casket when I went up to say good-bye before they closed it. I also know they didn't put enough make-up on M. He was too pale. On the other hand, at least he didn't look like he was going to sit up any minute. That would have been unneverving.

Anne, I am so sorry you had to bury your dear, sweet husband today. As the shock wears off, I imagine you will need lots of support. I hope you continue to reach out here, where you will find lots of love and support. I am so very sorry...


Stella, I think many ppl are scared to talk about our loved ones when they die. It is because ppl are KIND and don't want to increase our grief.

However, when my son died, it gave me such great comfort when people talked about my son and asked me questions about him. Teenagers, especially, are very talkative and that was very comforting. What made me uncomfortable was ppl acting like he didn't exist, that was hurtful. [and I know they did not mean it that way!] Everyone is different of course, but I have found this to be the rule rather than the exception.

GG,
I know you will survive and will do what it takes to help you and the girls through this trauma.
You did the work to heal yourself, and to create the life that you wanted, finding love that you always knew was possible.
It was so amazing to hear your progress and see that it was all possible.

For those of us who have been unwilling or unable to open our hearts to the possibility of finding true love, you were a light.
Someone just reminded me of the saying "it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

Thank you for sharing your possibility with me and others.

You are capable of so much. So much love, and so much healing of yourself and the girls.

I left a voicemail. Please call if you need anything, or just need a place to get away.

My faith in God has grown through my healing process and I truly believe that he is with you and the girls, and will be by your side.

Sending many prayers your way.

S

Anne --

I am so very sorry. I just caught up with this today.
I'm just so stunned.

Is there any explanation as to the cause?

He was such a young man - and you had such a wonderful future planned.

Words just don't seem sufficient...

((hug))

I'm so sorry.

Thanks, everyone. I cann't right now reply to everyone individually. I'm sure you understand.

Newly, I'll pick up the message, and call you sometime.
Lexxxy, unfortunately, the visual post-mortum was "inconclusive." The Deputy coronor told me that there was nothing anatomically wrong with M. He hadn't had a heart attack, a stroke, or an aneurism. We're waiting on the toxicology and pathology report. However, there's a reasonable chance that nothing will show up. That's what I'm preparing for.

Neak, that's for that scripture. I don't know where I'd be without my faith in God, and the good word.

I join an online grief newsgroup, but I'm not sure how that will work out. You cannot discuss spirituality or religion. How the heck do you talk about death, grieving, and bereavement without talking about spiritual things?

Yesterday afternoon, after the funeral service, I could feel him closer to me. And I hold tight that like Jesus, he has gone ahead to prepare the path. I buried him with his brand-new passport. His old one had just expired, and he got a new one. It seemed fitting that his last great journey would have a new passport. Maybe St. Peter will stamp it.

All that said, my heart is in two. No, that's not quite right. My heart is missing a piece. Everywhere I look I see M.

Thank you all.

GG, this is all so horrible and unexpected there are simply no words that can help. I hope you get all the support that you need and want and that your girls can find their way through. Thankfully you have each other.

When my ex's brother died at 21 years old I remember ex and his parents remarked that no one wanted to talk about their beloved son and brother, probably out of fear of upsetting them. They wanted to talk about him despite the fact they may get upset by the talk. We are all different with different needs when tragic things occur. Please take care of yourself and ask for what you need. I 'm sure you know your cyber friends will do what we can.

Hello GG
I don't know you but please know I join the others in sharing your loss. This is a group a friend posts to, it has many members and lots of discussion. Looking at the list of forums there are different religious groups. Hope it helps.

http://www.widownet.org/wnbb2/

GG, I'm so sorry for your loss, and my prayers are for your comforting.

Anne,

May you find rest, peace and comfort in the arms of Jesus.

(((Greengables)))

So very sorry for your loss GG.

Thanks, everyone.

If you get a chance, there is a wonderful book called the Grief Recovery Workbook. It is an excellent book that many grief groups use. It takes you through all of the grieving.

Grief groups are good too, but I think I would look for one that is through a church.

This isn't going to be easy, but hope you will rely on us to help you.

Good idea, Believer. I think GriefShare is run through churches. There's one in my area.

I went ice skating with my girls yesterday. Mike didn't skate, and this place is where I skated as a child. Plus, the instructors knew and were so kind. Then, there were the small kids who remind us all of the joy of life. When I was thoughtful, I skated slowly, when I was more upset, I skated fast.

Then, the biggest blessing of all probably, I could eat some dinner.

Here in the morning is the worst. M wasn't really around in th morning. He got ready quickly and was out the door with barely a "See ya." I think it's hard because this is when I lost him.

And I'm looking into that widownet that another poster posted. It isn't as active a board as here, so maybe I stick around here.