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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 1 |
Someone please help. My wife told me that she has been having an affair for less than a month and that it is now over. The problem is that it is with a colleague at work, of course, and she still sees him every day. How do i deal with this and what is the right way to be. Please help me. I feel so lost.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She is going to leave the job, right?
Has the affair been exposed at work? Is her lover married and if so, has his wife been notified?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Please give more details:
1. previous affairs?
2. how long married?
3. kids?
4. previous marriages?
5. other addictions?
6. what has not been working in the relationship before the adultery?
7. does your wife say you are a good husband?
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 574
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 574 |
Hang in there, NYfSmith! I wish I had found this site within the first month as you have! The folks here are hugely supportive and the steps you can take now give you your power back.
The advice given to me was:
Expose
No LB's
Meet her emotional needs
Of course, Melodylane mentions some important items, as well, she must agree to no contact with OM, which will likely mean her having to leave her job. I was so afraid to expose and I wish I had done it right away.
Keep reading the informaion here and posting questions. It will become more and more clear what to do!
BF439
me: 37
WH: 39
Kids: 12, 11, and 4
Discovery day: June 30, 2008 and again October 25.
Currently rockin' plan A
Me:BS40
WXH:42
DD15; DS13; DD6
D-day:6/30/08 & 10/25/08
WH moved out 9/15/08
D: 1/15/10
"So take that look out of here, it doesn't fit you, because it's happened, doesn't mean you've been discarded." -- Big Country from "In a Big Country."
"Keep calm and carry on." -- Winston Churchill
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