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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 31
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 31 |
My wife moved out 7 weeks ago and so far I've been a nice guy about it because thats just the way I am. I've helped her when she ran out of money, I put about $800 dollars into her car so it would be safe I've been able to keep calm the whole time. Yesturday I asked her if she wanted to go to Epcot with me because it was the last day of the food and wine fest and she always wanted to go. She told me no thanks and I left it at that. Then about 3 hours ago she sent me a text saying "why not spend that epcot money on a U haul for ME so I can get the rest of MY stuff and YOU get MY stuff out of the attic". I'm a very patient man but I know when I'm being treated like a doormat. She LEFT ME! I was the one who wanted to work things out she is the one that gave up on our marriage. I've been stewing for 3 hours just wanting to tell her off but I don't want to make things worse. I want to be the better person is there any respectful way to tell her that ticked me off or should I just ignore the message? I'm tired of being treated this way.
BS (ME) 30
WW 27
Started plan A Nov 1st 08
D-Day Nov. 18 08
Still trying to hang on!
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
Not sure if you are still trying to recover your M or not but your response could be anything from ignore to FO. If you want to help her buy a clue though you can say something like...
"W, I invited you to Epcot because I know how much you have wanted to go to the food and wine fest and was hoping we could enjoy the event together. But thank you for making me feel like your personal ATM and maid instead of your husband and a person with feelings."
Too harsh for your tastes?...maybe ignore.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 896
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 896 |
How about letting her know that the free ride is done. Something like, "How about you get UHaul and pickup your stuff off the front lawn where I chucked it from the attic. I'm spending the Epcot money on a lawyer, if you come tomorrow I'll have some papers for you to sign."
Me 42 BS
Wife 41 FWW (exwife now)
Divorced 10/14/2008
S 21
D 18
D 16
S, S 13 (twins)
Grandson 8 months
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 31
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 31 |
I'm still trying to save our marriage. I tried to ignore it but part of my plan A is to express my feelings and not bottle them up like I usually do. This was way out of caracter for me but I texted her back - "I put aside that money for us not you that text you sent was hurtful. I'm a nice guy but I'm not a door mat." I don't know if that helped my M or not but how can you love a person if they let you walk all over them.
BS (ME) 30
WW 27
Started plan A Nov 1st 08
D-Day Nov. 18 08
Still trying to hang on!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 716
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 716 |
I want to be the better person is there any respectful way to tell her that ticked me off or should I just ignore the message? I'm tired of being treated this way. How about a simple, "No, thanks" to her suggestion. Sometimes the less you say, the better. This may be one of those times, since she doesn't appear to care much about ticking you off. PK
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