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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 15 |
Before I ask this, let me say that I am not trying to be critical of people staying with a WS. Here is my question: What makes a BS want to save the marriage with a WS? I always see the reasons for the children, and I think it is valid, but couldn't standing up and divorcing a WS be a positive example for a child? Maybe this could show the children that there are consequences for choices and that you don't have to stay with someone that abuses you? I guess, I look at it from the perspective that (I'm not married) I couldn't stay with a WS, because my memory is too good and I would have to know all the details and I wouldn't get over them. Also, I would want to start fresh with someone new. I know this may be ignorant, but I would really love to here some opinions about this.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Because I married my H for better or worse, in sickness and in health. I love him and believe that somewhere down deep the man I married exists inside of the monster.
And.... if the roles were reversed, my H wouldn't give up on ME.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,536
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Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,536 |
Steve,
Many here could have asked the exact same question prior to having it happen to them. I went throught this twice as a kid where my Father had left and told myself that if it ever happened to me, there would be no comming back. Then it happened to me and I realized that the pain it causes makes you rethink your position. If you truly love the person you fight for them, if you don't you let them go. For me, that was the bottom line.
FBH 44
FWW 41
DD 16
DD 11
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Hi TMTS.....
I miss you......
Do you think I am stupid for keep believing he could come home?
It looks so bleak
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Good question. I am a follower of Jesus, and believe my marriage was a covenant between my husband and I, and the Lord. I tried to save the marriage for 3 and a half years, but ended up divorced.
If you aren't married, I hope you will do some reading here to find out how to have a good marriage. Also I hope that you and any woman that you would consider marrying are equally yoked.
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