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Neak #2154014 11/06/08 12:26 AM
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Loved the snow cave.

I haven't forgotten the rest of the story. It's sitting right here next to me, but it's hard to see at night without good lighting at my desk, and I haven't had much sitting time during the day. :crosseyedcrazy:


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Neak #2154019 11/06/08 12:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Neak
rotflmao lildoggie

Did you get your sitch straightened out? All this talk of axes, and I'm guessing yes. grin

no, sitch is done, but not as hoped

All Parents, remove cell phones from your kids.
Forever.

and thats all i ahve to say about that


Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh
lildoggie #2154043 11/06/08 05:39 AM
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All Parents, remove cell phones from your kids.
Forever.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder if that will work with a near 24 yr old???????????????? confused think think


Not that I have to pay for it ......... well not directly only through Medicare tax ... the Hospital does the paying ..... but for goodness sakes its glued to her ear ......... I'm sure she suffers withdrawal stickout :RollieEyes:


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

aussieswife #2154048 11/06/08 06:38 AM
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Trouble is about removing the phone - I like to know that I can contact my daughters when I need to. I do check their history although they are unaware.


tucktummy #2154111 11/06/08 09:17 AM
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My plan w/ daughter is to remove her text messaging for a few weeks but allow her to keep phone. That way I can still contact her. If she pulls another stunt like this, I will remove her from my family contract but allow her to keep the phone if she pays for it.

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Originally Posted by thndrnltng
A 2008 column by Dave Barry, surely one of the funniest writers around... rotflmao And besides, he's right!

OK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy. But you haven't. Here are your reasons:

1. You've been busy.

2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family.

3. You haven't noticed any problems.

4. You don't want a doctor to stick a tube 17,000 feet up your butt.

Let's examine these reasons one at a time. No, wait, let's not. Because you and I both know that the only real reason is No. 4. This is natural. The idea of having another human, even a medical human, becoming deeply involved in what is technically known as your ''behindular zone'' gives you the creeping willies.


That part of Barry's essay was bad enough.

``Dear Brothers,

``I went in for a routine colonoscopy and got the dreaded diagnosis: cancer. We're told it's early and that there is a good prognosis that they can get it all out, so, fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that. And of course they told me to tell my siblings to get screened. I imagine you both have.''


That part is really, really bad!

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.Does anyone else see a problem with eating nothing solid, with coffee w/ no creamer, with no red dye in their jello, with no crackers with their soup, with no texture in their soup, with no cookies, with no hot chocolate, with nothing more exciting than broth, yellow or green jello, and tea/soda/sports drinks for 24 hours? WHEN YOU ARE PERFECTLY WELL!?!?!? Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes -- and here I am being kind -- like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, ''a loose watery bowel movement may result.''...

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative.


My 'medication' and instructions are different.....8 ounces about every 20 minutes starting right now and going till I finish the stuff. No food and nuclear laxative. Does this sound like fun. No shopping for me. I think I'm refusing to cook today. May I take a sleeping pill, please? However, any medications taken by mouth within an hour of taking the nuclear laxative may not be properly absorbed. And, if you take that sleeping pill, you may not get to the bathroom in time. faint

I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. faint

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.
He was lucky...I have no family to ask. My sister won't speak to me voluntarily. My mom is such an excellent driver :RollieEyes: that I refuse to ride with her. My children don't have their driver's licenses. I had to ask a friend.

Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, ''What if I spurt on Andy?''

I am SO not worried. Jeff gets paid enough to do this. He can cope. Besides, I've been to his house. Folks, he ain't sufferin' financially. If I spurt on him, it's his problem.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom...you would have no choice but to burn your house.

Vodka doesn't sound like a good plan. I did ask and did find out that white wine would be an acceptable drink for today. However, I had the same worries about the Fire Hose affect of the nuclear laxative.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. ...And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like...I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking ``Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine . . .'' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

This is what I am counting on. pray

If my brother Sam had been as stupid as I was -- if, when he turned 50, he had ignored all the medical advice and avoided getting screened -- he still would have had cancer. He just wouldn't have known....Here's the deal: You either have colo-rectal cancer, or you don't. If you do, a colonoscopy will enable doctors to find it and do something about it. And if you don't have cancer, believe me, it's very reassuring to know you don't. There is no sane reason for you not to have it done.

pray This is the motivation for my adventure! :RollieEyes:

Be sure to stress that you want the non-Abba version.

Perhaps, I should ask them to play Ride of the Valkyries or the William Tell overture




©2008 Dave Barry


Thank you, Mr. Barry, for allowing me to edit your essay and to add my comments.

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Please reprint the column with new comments once the procedure is over. flirt


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Tomorrow is the big day. TEEF Nuclear laxatives are no fun. :MrEEk: My den, where the television is, is TOOOOOO far from the bathroom. pray

Tuesday is mammogram and pap smear. rant2

What was I thinking? faint

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24 hours of nothing but clear runny food. I would hurt someone for a bowl or oatmeal or rice. I'm hoping there won't be much left in there by bedtime. I want to sleep a LONG time tonight.

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Then you do NOT want to hear about the lovely vegetarian taste fair I just helped with. I can hardly even roll.

Blessings for tomorrow.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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but for goodness sakes its glued to her ear ......... I'm sure she suffers withdrawal


I strenuously object to my mother claiming I have withdrawal symptoms separating myself from my mobile. rant2

MOTHER!!! naughty

Its an essential part of being available and on call and thats why I have it with me all day. :twobyfour:

It has nothing to do with my use. And I DID NOT bring down the hospitals mobile network due to my unpaid bill - that was a network hardware technical error I tell you. grumble

And it has nothing to do with the credit increase on my mobile to unlimited. The hospital needs its medical staff on call thats all.
think
so there!! stickout

sorry had to take a call


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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Tuesday is mammogram and pap smear.

Were you high when you did your scheduling??????


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I hope they aren't scheduled simultaneously. THAT would be...that would be...um, that would be incredibly acrobatic, that's what that would be!! :MrEEk:

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sorry had to take a call

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Originally Posted by thndrnltng
I hope they aren't scheduled simultaneously. THAT would be...that would be...um, that would be incredibly acrobatic, that's what that would be!! :MrEEk:

Nope. Not simultaneous. Mammie at 8:30. Pap smear several miles asay at 10:30. That is my Veteran's Day ritual. Every year on the day off for Veteran's Day, I go through that ordeal.

Now, I'm thinking that the colonoscopy people could pair up with the mammogram people and just roll you over on your tummy, let those things drop into place and do the mammogram while you are out cold. That would be lots better than having you do that while you are conscious. They could squash them any way they wanted and you wouldn't care or know.

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Originally Posted by cinderella
Tomorrow is the big day. TEEF Nuclear laxatives are no fun. :MrEEk: My den, where the television is, is TOOOOOO far from the bathroom. pray

Tuesday is mammogram and pap smear. rant2

What was I thinking? faint

I don't remember the colonoscopy. I'm not sure they did it. They say they did but I don't remember seeing anyone but one nurse and the anesthesia person. Some guy who said he was a doctor came in later and said the procedure went well - found one polyp, it looked okay, but they removed it anyway.

They said I was legally drunk for the rest of the day. My friend (who took me) and I went out to breakfast.

I think I'm going to bed. I woke up with a headache this morning and I don't think the anesthesia helped it.

After tomorrow, I'll have all the significant poking and prodding over with for a while. I'll just have ENT, opthamologist, and psychiatrist appts.

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ok Rella

UP & SHAKIN' GIRL !!!! hurray hurray hurray

Forget the poking and other FUN stuff the doctors love to inflict on us females!! I'm just joking Dr Liz ... honest kiss

Get up, it's time to have some fun of your own ... I want you to have more happy times ... I'll be watching naughty

Start off this morning with a slice of choccy mud cake, hot chocolate and feet up. Let the washing just sit there!!

ok I know its hard with teens ..... mum where's my (fill in space) because heavens forbid that they actually look for it. Or don't you just love the 'moods" lol stickout
Just for fun.... if you want to freak them out ... when they are being obnoxious ... I'm sorry I mean 'challenging' ... smile at them adoringly... cup your hands gently around their head and tell them " I love you SO much" .... they can just never work you out then!!! rotflmao

just think ....... I have it ALL to do over with Mikey ....OMG what was I thinking .... oh .... yeah ..... I wasn't blush


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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Hi Cinderella, I hope all your tests come back clean.
and........
I hope you are especially happy today. Just because.

It snowed in the mountains over the weekend. It must finally be winter. (I know it's been winter for AJ for quite a while.)
I even wore a jacket to the veterans day parade this morning.

Other comments -
Is the dervish still alive and well?

SS



I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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The Dervish is alive and back to well. He's been so good there hasn't been that much to tell, lol.

He was sick over the weekend and we took him in to rule out kidney infection. His fever topped out at 103.7 and at first didn't come down when they medicated him, so he got to stay a while extra while Mom and I sponged him down with cool water.

He was home from school yesterday, and supposed to be home today too, but was so lively his MD had no problem with him coming back to school.

My scanner doesn't work, but Neaksis has some adorable costume pics of the kids from Val's birthday party. Val was Sybill - sorry, I forget her last name, it was a good Sybill, not that one - and her brother was John Billy Handawes. (He couldn't make up his mind which one he actually was.) Mr. C was Gen.Wellington, and the Princess was Laura Ingalls. Abraham Lincoln was in the ER, urinating in a cup.

AJ is coming home very soon, possibly leaving as soon as Thursday night. I know I don't have to tell you how happy I am about that!

:gobblegobble:


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Originally Posted by still seeking
Hi Cinderella, I hope all your tests come back clean.
and........
I hope you are especially happy today. Just because.

I used the afternoon to go see my mom.....took her out to lunch, to get my daughter a birthday present, and to the new Trader Joe's store. Then, I took the poor dear exhausted woman home.

This evening, I got a pedicure!

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