Hello All,

Long Time. No Post.

I had a disturbing dream last night regarding OM. I had a dream that he was in my home. We were together in another room and my husband was in the home as well. The OM and I started to hug and kiss and I was having a hard time resisting. I told him that I was married but we kept kissing anyway.

I woke up and I was very troubled regarding the dream. I told my husband the entire dream. I don't have any feelings for this man. That is why it troubled me. I don't have any desires for an affair or intimacy for another man. Not after what I have gone through. My husband asked if I still had feelings and I told him NO! In fact, I feel like I truly HATE him for what occurred to me and my marriage.

Is this normal. Anyone else have an unwanted dream.

MRS. Hopefull
12 years married
3 DD
PA - May 2005(Drunk on Vacation)
EA - May - Dec 2005
DDAY - July 2005 Emotional Only
NC - Dec 2005
DDAY - August 2006 physical details
Trying to Recover ever since

For years I had horrible dreams about those monkeys in Wizard of Oz! They were chasing me and just before they grabbed my ankles, I slooooooooooooooooooowly lifted off the ground, flying into safety. Then I turned around and pulled out my Texas pistola and shot their heads off! I blew the smoke from my smokin gun and flew off into da sunset! YIPPEEKAYAH!

okokok, I lied about dat ending, but it was definitely an unwanted dream!!!

Motto of this story: don't let your kids watch Wizard of Oz!! That is a horrible, scary movie, people!!

OK, that was an unwanted dream. I don't want to see flying monkeys.

Does anyone have dreams that have the OM/OW in them? I thought I would have dreams of killing this man or seeing him burn in hell, not of kissing/hugging behind my husbands back again.

Why does this happen? What does it mean?

Would you agree that Wizard of Oz is a majorly sucky movie?

I'd wanna see monkeys flyin outa my butt before I'd wanna watch that movie.

:happythanksgiving: BigKahuna!

Y'all are WIMPY...Wizard of Oz is a GREAT movie...Our dd8 went as Dorothy for Halloween 2 years in a row...That was her favorite movie when she was only TWO YEARS OLD...She is not a wimp!

Mrs. Hope Full...

The point is, sure lots of people have dreams about all sorts of things...Think about this though, if your dream had been about you riding Barney the dinosaur naked thru the desert, would you be here posting about it? Nope, no way, right? You wouldn't have given it a second thought. The problem is NOT that you had the dream about OM, but what you are doing about it in your waking hours...ie spending way too much brain power on it and OM...Instead of focusing on your marriage and family...Focus on REALITY, that is what counts and what will bring you the most joy...make sense?

Peace!

Mrs. W

A wimp?? I popped a cap on those monkeys!!

But you wuz skerta dem monkeys...DD8 would have invited them to tea! Now dat's a chick w/ moxie!

Mrs. W

Wait a minute, wait a minute there Mel. Them monkeys were actually just under a wicked spell from a nasty woman carrying a broom around. They were really good monkeys.
Now you've got me to wondering...DO YOU carry a broom around too, or just that pistola? :MrEEk:

1. It happens when your unconscious mind is trying to come to terms with something.
2. It means you (a part of you) is represented by everyone/everything and every problem sensed the dream.

This dream was about you, not about OM.

My wife and I, on occasion, have very troubling dreams. We share them with each other and pray for each other. We pray that God helps to settle our mind and bind our wounds so we may rest more peacefully.
Sharing these dreams with each other leads to deeper intimacy too.

This dream is just a reminder of the secrecy you had to keep right under your husband's nose during your affair. Keeping secrets of this magnitude way heavy on the soul and cause much stress. This is just a reflection of what could occur, but will not happen. Usually dreams mean the opposite of what they portray and it's the mind's way of entertaining us while we are at rest.

While you may hate the OM now, at one time you were quite fond of him. These are emotions and emotions are embedded in the soul.

The greatest thing is to become indifferent about the OM, to neither love nor hate, but acknowledge him as you would a pebble on the ground. Neither here nor there.
Having an emotion for him means he still has an impact on your life. Thus your dream about him.
When you are indifferent about him, so will your dreams be.

Mrs Hope Full,

I have a friend who is awesome at dream interpretation (for fun not as a job) and she had told me dreams are our subconscious trying to help us work out our problems.


This is probably the key right here. My take is your subconscious is telling you by hating him you are wasting energy on him. Somehow you have to get to indifference. Hate is a major energy sucker. Figure out what you are holding onto that is causing hate and let it go. What I read on this site really helped me let go of my hate, anger and resentment a long time ago.

Letting go of hurt and anger



I sure have. I use to have dreams where I saw FOM and his W and it was always from the back. It was at a time when I was wanting to know if they did recover and were as happy as my DH and I are. My friend told me it meant they have moved on and just knowing that made me feel better.

It could be a bunch of hooey, but I believe in it.

I know certain colors are significant especially if you see them very distinctivly.

Not all that long ago I had a dream where FOM came to my work (only I dont' work any longer) and he was angry. The set up was more like a library or book store, but was sort of like a maze. In the dream I was doing my best to avoid him. At some point I ran into my DH and we together got out of the maze.

My friend who does the dream interpretation sent me a dream dictionary a while ago. Here is a good site to check out if you want to know the meaning of specific words.

Dream Dictionary Otherwise do a google search and you can find other sites.

My girls and I look up the meanings of our dreams all the time just for fun.

LC

Shaken,

I was typing while you posted and it looks like we came up with the same idea. I told her she needs to get to indifference, too.

LC

Agreed LC,

I believe her emotions are too focused on how he manipulated and used her. Her still having these emotions bring about the dreams,which are opposite of what she feels in real life.

This is her mind reminding her of what occurred and even though in her dream she couldn't resist, in real life she will have no trouble resisting.

It may be a while before you become indifferent about OM,but keeping no contact will help speed the process along.

I don't have the same take as others on this issue.

I do not agree that you need to "come around" to indifference toward OM. That is no different than saying I should be indifferent toward Satan. I mean after all, is God indifferent about Satan?

I believe it requires as much or more energy to be indifferent.

Why would I want to be indifferent about my adultery?

That's a rather crass statement, but you are entitled to your opinion as am I.

No one is saying be indifferent about the adultery.

The object is to feel indifferent about the OM so that he doesn't influence her behavior or disturb her marriage. I am speaking from experience..not theory.

Shaken,

I totally agree. It is about the other person.

I should also add it was my therapist who told me it would be mentally unhealthy to hold onto anything toward my FOM including hate. She guided me in what I needed to do to get to indifference and told me how important it was.

LC