I am furious right now, so please bear with me.

Ex cheats on me (twice since being married) leaves me for latest 1 month fling, files the petition for divorce after one year separation (a legality in Canada) and then does not follow through on the divorce.

It has been over 7 months since he filed the petition, and he has yet to go in and file the divorce paper, which would end this nightmare!!!!!

The clerk tells me that I have nothing I can do short of begging him to finish what he started. She says he will be reminded on April 23 (one year later) that his case will be dismissed if he does not follow through, and then I can do it all myself.

This is just gonna prolong this stupid suffering for another year in my case.

Why?

What game is he playing?

Why won't he go away????

What is he doing now?
Maybe he is a cake eater. Cut off his supply of cake.
Have you plan B him? Total plan B, with a third party to handle communication?

If not ride that Dark horse srarting today.

I'm in the same boat. Just do what I'm doing - nothing. Unless you have upcoming wedding plans, you don't need the divorce certificate for anything. Just go on with your life as if you weren't married, which you aren't under our law anyway. With a separation agreement in place, you have already washed your hands of him (though check all your life insurance and RRSPs - anything with a named beneficiary in case he's still on something somewhere).

I have not spoken to him in about 16 months. I last saw him three months ago, but there was no exchange of anything. I just walked right by.

There is no need for any communication because we have absolutely nothing to communicate about. No kids, only our cats and he pretty much left them when he walked out on me. I refused to acknowledge what he wanted then, because he abandoned us.

As for RRSP's and such. I had changed the beneficiary on them and my life insurance immediately, but because of his reckless spending, he brought us both bankruptcy, so they were lost.

Tabby, I would like closure, and this is why I want this divorce so badly. I feel like I have this held over my head, and it irks me to no end. I mean, if I want to go out and get married tomorrow, I can't. It sucks to feel like someone is in control of my life, and it is not me.

I wish the laws were different here. I am being screwed by our system, and I don't like it.

It will be at least July before I can do the filing myself. I am hoping word gets back to him about it and he does something. I think my bringing attention to the fact that he may be doing this because he does not want out may force him to get something done... or, OW will be on his [censored]. I can only hope.

I see your point about closure, but I would still recommend that you stop worrying about it for now. He doesn't have control over you - he really can't stop you from doing anything that you weren't going to do anyway (unless you really were going to get married). Come July you can go ahead and file yourself and be done with it but in the meantime, you aren't married any more and you seem to have disconnected yourself from him sufficiently to be able to pursue your own happiness. Don't let a technicality stop you from this. At least you didn't have to wait for a divorce court process to divide up all of your assets. One thing I do like about our system is that you have the option to do it yourself.

I always wonder about my Wstbx's OW. I heard from OWH that their divorce went through. I wonder if it makes her angry that Wstbx's hasn't yet.

This is a goofy suggestion, but here goes:

Write a letter telling your story and your frustration with the current law and submit it to your largest local newspaper. Look over the paper to find out the most likely section that does this sort of personal insight story.

You could title it: "Current divorce laws - the second betrayal".
.... something grabbing (you can do this better than I can, you're a good writer)

If nothing else, your voice will be heard.
And perhaps (just perhaps) your H will finish what he started.

It is a human interest story people will read!

If it is not published - send it somewhere else. (Craig's List?)

Well, I did make a posting about this on another bulletin board locally that WH knows I post on, and had been keeping tabs on me through. He admitted as much in an email one day when I was venting to a friend on there about something he had done.

Anyway, I made the point in said posting that I found it funny he was not running out to get this divorce stuff all finished, and wondered if perhaps he was having second thoughts. I know OW was reading about me too, so hopefully she reads it, and starts to ask questions. Also, a friend of mine knows of OW through her sis-in-law, so she was going to mention it to her, hoping it gets back to OW. Basically, I am starting to wonder if perhaps WH has lied to her about the divorce, and said it is out of his hands.

Anyway, hopefully once people start talking, the ball will get rolling. Maybe a mention that I will quit my job and try to get alimony may help it along. :P