I called the salon the "confirm" the appointment time, and she does in fact have an appointment at the time she said.

Funny how something that little lifted my spirits. How a truth is now a gift and a lie is expected.

Ok here is what I can't buy about her three hour tour:

Everything else I can buy but these two items:

1. She would not answer her phone or return a text. She said she put her cell on silent becuase she was mad at me for leaving. She said she was at a girls apartment with these people, including lovery boy, and that she was pissed and having a good time. She didn't realize I was calling because the phone was on silent. Sorry - but [censored]! Can't buy it.

2. I told her there was no way I would ever be able to buy this load of crap and that the only way I would is if she took a lie detector test. She said she would, but then argued that if I couldn't believe her then our marriage was in trouble and we would never make it anywy, so why waste the time and money. Ok - [censored]! If I was being accused of sleeping with someone and I hadn't - I would be dragging her [censored] to the examiners office that night.

That is what I can't buy - all other points I can buy. I can understand getting caught up in a glamorous young crowd, some flirtatious text messages, and some flirting that went unchecked for one night. I can understand it, was it appropriate? No, can I divorce her and leave the kids for it? No.

Damn this sucks.

(Sorry for the language, but bull crap is different that bull [censored])

you can talk about this all you want, but until you are prepared to do something about it, she will continue to walk all over you.

Give her one chance to agree to the polygraph or she is out.

Man up.

Do what?

Walk out on an unconfirmed suspicion even though the evidence seems very likely?

Man up and do what?

Schedule the lie detector test?

That I can do. She agreed to it already. Her actually showing up for the test is a totally different thing.

sorry, you have enough proof.

man up...I mean do something besides talk. Tell your wife that based on her behavior she either needs to come clean and confirm via a polygraph or she is gone(SHE leaves). You KNOW she is screwing around AGAIN.

Schedule the test as she has already agreed.

You can have all your answers by the beginning of next week.

Speak to an attorney.

Have you hired a PI??? You could have your answers already.

There is a sense of urgency here.

ok here's my insight to what you have posted. hire the PI if you can afford it. drop the voice thingy in her car. check the phone bills when they come in.

then back off and give her all the rope she needs to hang herself.

if you are right she will do all the work for you. if you are wrong she might end up knotting some sexy nighty with all that rope she has.

quite frankly if all else is going great and you have no "positive" proof right now you are just driving yourself nuts.

Ok I got a recording of her having sex last night in our car.

besides my emotioanl state, I have a question.

Can I legally not let her back in the house?

Pack up her carp, put it in the front yard, change the locks and tell her not to return.

Thats been done, what happens if she shows up?

As heart wrenching hard that was to listen to it is nice to have hard evidence. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but there are no questions in my mind anymore.

You are living my worst nightmare if it were ever to come true.

I don't know what else to say but try and hold it togethor with that gaping wound in your chest..


How long have you had the recording?

3 hours.

She might call the cops - if she does (which I doubt) do whatever the cops tell you to do with a calm demeanor.
If she show up without the cops - you're not answering the door.

Everything I want to say to you ...sounds corny.. or condescending...


Are you managing or is your wife at risk for domestic violence?

I couldnt find a way to word it more respectfully.. sorry

Does she know you recorded her?

When she shows up - tell her that having her having sex with OM in your car is what caused her stuff to land in the yard.

NEVER tell her you have a tape - until it is useful to your standing in legal proceedings.

I already told her and gave her a copy.

Wrong move, maybe - had to do it - yes.

Really calmed things down a but when she knew she was busted.

My question still stands, if she comes here can I keep her locked out?

Are you done with her all together or do you just want her out for the moment? I don't know if you can legally keep her out and your response depends on whether your are going with plan B or FO. You gave a a copy not the original right?

I am sorry to hear that you are living this nightmare. I doubt you can legally keep her out of the house against her will unless there is a threat of violence.

If I were you, I would already be talking to a lawyer and starting the D paperwork. You are married to a repeat cheater who has had at least 2 affairs that you know about and without a polygraph who knows how many she’s had that you don’t know about. You have given her an opportunity to change by not divorcing her 9 years ago. I’m all for giving a repentant WW a second chance, but no one in my book deserves a third chance.

I would also sit your kids down and tell them what’s going on. They are old enough to know and they deserve to know why their family is being torn apart. The 10y/o probably only needs to know that Mommy has a boyfriend and when you’re married that’s not allowed. The 12 y/o is old enough to understand that Mom is having sex with someone other than Dad and that isn’t acceptable in a marriage.

Be strong and take care of yourself and your children. They need to see you handle this with character. Children learn the ways of life from their parents. Unfortunately, your wife is a terrible example. Therefore, you’re the one that’s going to have to be their shining light. I hate Dr Phil, but he has a great saying that “children would rather be from a broken home than live in one.”

I wish you the best.

I dont think you can legally keep her out

But I cant imagine that she will make a big scene at this point.

How did she react when you told her about the tape? Do you think she will even be surprised that you have changed the locks?

Have you talked to any of your family yet? You need to get a support team together to help you through this.


I am so sorry you are going through this.