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Joined: Nov 2008
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While I had suspected my wife and her boss of having an affair for the past 2 1/2 years I recently got absolute proof via a hidden voice recorder. While we (read I) tried to work it out I've come to the conclusion that a divorce is in the near future. Part of this reasoning is due to her refusal to quit her job where she is in constant contact with the OM (She reports to him).
My question for you is should I let the OM's wife & mother of his two teen children know about the long term affair? I myself am the product of a broken home so I'm hesitant to do this to his children.
Please help!
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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First, I am not a lady.
Second, you are not doing anything to OM's family but protecting them from OM. He is the one that is tearing up his family and your marriage. YOU OWE OM's W, the information you have. She can then decide what is best for her and her children.
Adultery does not always lead to divorce, but that is not your call. If you are a man of honor you will expose this affair to his W, and to his bosses right after you talk to a lawyer about filing a suit for workplace misconduct.
If you even think you want to save this marriage the most effective tool is exposure. Not for revenge but for help in rebuilding your marriage with your W.
OM's W needs to know, and she needs to know NOW!
God Bless,
JL
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Yes, let his wife know, and show her any proof. Also write a letter to the HR department and ask them what they plan to do about the affairees.
Then tell her friends, your friends, your family and her family.
And yes, she will be furious.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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I would be furious if I found out someone knew about my H's affair and didn't tell me!
Go to HR AND his boss. And her family, your family, important friends, and his family. Do it all in one day.
That said, if it's been going on that long, Harley says it may be too hard to cut off. But you owe it to his kids to let them learn that an A is not moral, so they don't end up doing it, too.
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Tell her. I wish someone would have told me.
BW - Me - 39
WH - Him - 46
Married 5/23/1998
DDay - 10/11/2008
currently separated - headed for d-court
DS - 8
DS - 6
DD - 4
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Joined: Dec 2007
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OMW deserves the truth. Exposure will give the OMW the ability to save her marriage by getting rid of the cancerous affair.
Tell ASAP. However do not let your WW know ahead of time that you are going to expose. You are doing nothing wrong because you are telling the truth.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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My question for you is should I let the OM's wife & mother of his two teen children know about the long term affair? I myself am the product of a broken home so I'm hesitant to do this to his children. By not telling her you increase the odds that this marriage will fail. If you tell her she has a chance to save her marriage. So if you truly care about her children, you will TELL. I would tell the OM's wife and mother, not his children. I would also tell the OM's VP and Director of HR.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Dec 2007
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As melody said: "I would also tell the OM's VP and Director of HR"
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Joined: Nov 2008
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Thank you all for your feedback! I do appreciate your input and I will tell his wife so she can make an informed decision on their future.
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Joined: Sep 2006
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Thank you all for your feedback! I do appreciate your input and I will tell his wife so she can make an informed decision on their future. I'm not a lady either..  Good for you. Now you and the OMW can also take steps to get tested for any STD's that might have gotten passed around. You never know who else either of them have been in contact with. I hope you come back with news of a another affair on its death knell once its been exposed to the light of day.
Last edited by RMX; 11/20/08 01:31 AM.
FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
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What about exposing at work? To only expose OMW is doing half a job. Jobs done poorly are never effective.
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