When I was finally allowed to use the computer to look up this website it was too late. WW cut off my vacation time before I was deployed to go camping alone. Yeah freaking right, she hated camping especially in the rain. I knew what was happening, but she threatened to call the mps (military police) and fake physical abuse. It's a really long painful story.

After thinking for a long time I realize the depth of my betrayal. The squadleader that slept with my WW used my lines on her. One day at the CQ desk I was reading a paintball magazine. He asked, "Why don't you play paintball anymore?" I told him my wife didn't like it when I talked about paintball and whenever she wanted me to play, we had no money. He said, "Why don't you give her the back hand?" I said I wasn't like that and I loved her unconditionally. He didn't know what that meant so I told him it meant loving her no matter what she does to me. He said, "Oh, that's because she has sex with you all the time." I said I loved her beyond sex. Then he said, "Why don't you just leave some money to yourself." I said that if I was single I would get oakley desert combat boots and use it all for the improvement of my own uniform; however, better is a little with love than alot with hatred. Then he said, "Have you ever told your wife this?" I said that I didn't have a situation where I could of said it.

Then one day my wife said, "My (OP) said that he loved me unconditionally, beyond sex." Then when I said, "I spoil you and support you to do things that are fun." Then she said, "Better is a little with love than alot with hatred." Just the audacity of the imposter drives me nuts sometimes, but whenever the pain gets tough, I just pray. I don't know why wicked people prosper. Why my enemies triumphed over me. My own bitterness at the whole situation just made our own relationship worse. Meanwhile this wicked man seduced my wife with my own words and even my own moves. I bought a sex book which I should of kept to myself thinking that our sex life wasn't doing well because I wasn't doing something right. He somehow managed to get ahold of it (WW probably gave it to him).

In anycase there is no way to repair what has been done. She is having his child, I know because I said I wouldn't make love to her if she didn't want it. I am pressed for time I'll write more later. She wishes that I would die, doesn't want to talk to me, and sent me divorce papers that were illegal while I am deployed. I know I need to divorce legally, my marriage only lasted 1 1/4 of a year before she started searching for someone else. I guess this is because she was my first love and didn't have any experience with women. I tried as best as I could to keep her with me. I never touched her in anger, in fact she punched, kicked, and scratched my face so hard that blood came out, I never retaliated. Just tried to overcome it with love. The only way I knew. I see after reading most of everything in this website that I went about things the wrong way. Should of praised her alot more and had fun with the stupid little things she wanted to do like play the card game war. At least act like I was having fun flipping cards.

Just wanted to say I am sorry for what you are going thru. You don't deserve this but you are lucky in one way.

She physically abused you and cheated on you in just over a year of marriage. Get a lawyer and get out while you can. Some people are not marriage matierial. Your WW and her new guy will get their's and they will have a very unhappy life.

Don't beat yourself up for being a good decent guy. If you are in the military can you turn the guy in for what he did to the military. If you can please go ahead and teach the guy a lesson.

Since your wife physically hit you and was sleeping with other men at least you are going to get out and have a chance for a decent life. Again, I am sorry for what you are going thru.

I know it doesn't feel like it, but this is a blessing in disguise for you. It hurts now, but you have been given irrefutable proof that your wife is not worthy of that title. There are plenty of good women out there waiting for good guys like you. Expose this affair up your chain of command. Its not like they can deny it with her carrying his child. End his career and kick that hag to the curb.

The best revenge is a life well lived.

I would report him. The military will not tolerate affairs.

Then be happy your young and only married a short time. Being WW is knocked up by the OM, let them marry and have each other. They deserve each other. These cheater's will only wind up on cheating on each other.

Do you know about Borderline Personality Disorder? (called BPD in this quote)




Here is the link

GET AWAY FROM HER !

No matter if she is BPD or not .... she is dangerous for you to be around.

As for what Pepperband says.....she is extremely good with her MB stuff.....however, there is a difference between Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. They are both conditions related to mental/emotional health and can have same acronyms. Research them both.

Meanwhile, get busy reporting this louse. And consider yourself lucky that you don't already have a couple of children by this woman.

Did you click the link Cinders?

Go to your 1SGT and report him. Also the Chaplain just in case he is buddy buddy with the 1st SGT. This guy is toast!!! He will be court martialed and can't fight it because of the DNA bun in the oven. Don't let this go!!! Your wife stuck it to you with no mercy even when exposed!!

Not all marriages should be saved. Looking at what you've said, there is nothing there worth fighting for. It's time to cut your losses, and I don't recommend that very often.

Definitely report the guy, and keep on reporting till someone listens. This isn't about vengeance - it's about justice.

Stick around anyway, learn about A's and how to avoid them, and your next marriage will be much happier.

I'm so sorry for what your WW put you through.

Run honey.

Run far and fast.

Report that booger, too. He's truly a twisted little XXXXXXer who shouldn't be in ANY position of power.

Yes, I found it confusing to refer to present bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder concurrently in new information. They both are sometimes abreviated here with "BPD".

Perhaps I could have worded my post better. But, I wanted the original poster here to know that there could be two different conditions so abreviated. And, that they are NOT the same condition.

I did not mean to offend or confuse anyone....but I found it a bit confusing.

Subter,

First off Thank You for serving us, please report this guy he might as well be working for the enemy considering what he is doing to morale. As a commanding officer his duty is to the well being of his soldiers period.

If you have no other children with her please move on with your life and try to learn what warning signs you might have ignored early in your relationship so you can steer clear of this type of person next time. She is saving you a lifetime of grief.

God Bless
NJ

DNA TEST!

Otherwise you'll get stuck paying child support for another man's kid.

Understand one thing though, I still love this woman. I know she must of been absolutely insane, her love was fanatical. After that post about bipolar disorder, I know she has it. She switched around so fast or was pretending that she loved me and cut it off all of a sudden. After one field problem she sat in my lap during a debriefing. I came home to a shrine of my pictures all around her bed. She sat in my lap at a resturant where we took pictures making stupid faces.
Other crazy things were that she surprised me and ran and jumped in my arms every other day. She was extremely devoted at one point and wanted to be with me everywhere I went even though she couldn't go where I was going. She freaked out so much about other women in my life, that even if there was a woman playing online on the other team she would freak out. She would freak out on me if another woman asked for directions or if I held open a door for half a second to let a woman with her kids through. I wanted to listen to some CDS of mine and she went absolutely ballistic simply because I wanted to bring them into the car with me while I went to run errands for her. None of these CDS had any bad lyrics she just broke them in half in a fit of rage and threw the pieces at me. Almost everytime she had these outbursts, she said she was sorry and cried in my arms. I always said in a quiet voice, "I forgive you, it's ok, it's ok. Everything is alright. You are loved."

We made love almost every single day up until OP messed it up.

It took one day of picking the OP up at the airport to switch her around from fanatical love to total hatred and disgust. I had to have been slandered. We got in a fight over picking the OP up at the airport because she wanted to go alone and I didn't trust the guy. Sure enough, after the airport our love life ended eruptly. She said over the phone he was hungry and wanted to go to Denny's. My friend kept texting her to make sure she wasn't doing anything. She said he was inside my platoon leader's house dropping off a rifle and didn't know why he was taking so long. She mysteriously laughed and then said she laughed because she didn't know why he was taking so long. It took 3 hours for them to come back. I asked the platoon leader later how long he spent in his house. He said 5 minutes and he didn't know my wife was with him.

I knew the guy was bad. When we had a halloween party, for some reason WW invited him to the house with another one of my platoon mates. He said he was going to the strip club afterwards but didn't leave the house when everyone left. We had to literally kick him out of the house. I had no idea this guy was doing what he was doing because WW kept throwing me off. She would try to say I needed to worry about another guy instead of him to throw me off the trail. "I don't know why you are worried about him, he's deploying with you."

You have no idea the pain I felt as I had to see him everyday after he was kicked out of our troop, across to the other troop. I saw him bragging about "getting a girl pregnant" back home with a humping motion knowing that he was bragging about getting my wife pregnant. I had to watch him stare at me everyday and see him hanging out with my wife after she kicked me out of my own house threatening to call the MPS. She had a get together with the OP and the friend I tried to get to pressure her out of the affair. I tried to get my friend to pressure her out of it, but instead he accepted it and even let my wife spend the night at their house (he had a good family). What ticked me off was he let OP and my wife spend time at his house together. I helped unite his family, when he came to his duty station, but he helped in destroying mine. I still think of him as a friend, and he thinks the whole situation is messed up. I just don't understand why he supported it.
There's freaking more to say it's just along story and I know all the details. She told her best girlfriend who told me later about everything. She canned her bestfriend later when she found out the her best friend didn't support what she was doing. What's crazy is she utterly destroyed her high position in the FRG and Care group. She was the leader and she traded it all for OP.

Before all this happened she told me how much she appreciated me. She said we were better off than other couples. We were not in debt, we did more than everyone else and I was a good husband. Three months later total destruction. This OP took everything I valued. When he asked how much anyone would pay to let someone else sleep with their wives, I told this OP that I wouldn't trade her for the world (thought it was a joke). I also told him that she was the only person that mattered to me. I could lose everything, if she was still there I would be happy. I told him I stayed awake driving us back home by thinking of her. I said that even though I screw up sometimes, I win because I got the girl already. After he said that he liked sleeping around with whoever he could get, I said, "Why don't you find one good looking girl and dedicate your life to her instead of sleeping around and never knowing what love is." He looked at me with a crooked smile.

Just bizarre what happened. I lost my wife to someone I totally despised because of his character and who totally despised me. I always thought that love making effected people down to the soul which is why after she did what she did, she became the compulsive liar she made love to.

The reason I don't press charges is that she is having a child. If OP goes to prison the child won't have a father. This is not a good thing. I would rather her find out that he wasn't what she thought he was. I definitely will divorce, I just need to make sure I am in the clear. She sent me divorce paperwork that was illegal in that it said she wasn't pregnant. The lawyer I consulted wouldn't let me sign it.

Bizarre as it may be....as hurt as you may be.....you need to pay attention to the advice about the DNA testing. In some states, a child fathered by an OM is considered the child of the mother's husband. In other words, depending on where you live, you may be legally considered this child's father just because you were married to the mother at the time the child is born. If your marriage isn't recovered, you could end up being legally obligated to support that child for almost 20 years while the biological father gets off scott free.

GET THE DNA TEST!!!!!

And, if this guy is still in the military, report him!

You do realize her character is not so stellar either?

She's a terribly broken person.

YOU cannot fix her. Not for all the stars in the sky.

SHE has to want to be repaired and do it herself.

Personally, I get from all of this that she will not EVER woman up to fix herself.

Ever.

Welcome and thanks for serving.

Report the affair to his command. Get him thrown out of the military. He is not a brother-in-arms and cannot be trusted.

That is the reason I didn't sign the divorce papers. It said I needed to deestablish the child with a paternity test before I divorced.

I knew she was messed up in the head when I married her. I thought I could help her. She said to her best friend that I was her comfort, but only a stepping stone. A starter husband.

This is the consequence I get for marrying someone that was divorced. I tried to reconcile them as hard as I could, but she said that he cheated on her. It makes me wonder though, because she said to her parents that she suspected that I cheated on her. She knew I wasn't like that and there was no secret life. I was manipulated because of my brute force honesty. She was able to hide things better because I told her the truth.