Here is a link to my original post. Original Post

A lot has happened since this post. It was too late before I found this site to follow all of the plans. At this point I am not entirely sure where I am.

I never really found out for sure if my wife had an affair or not. It really doesn’t matter right now. Seven weeks ago I moved out to ease the tension in the home between my wife and I. We agreed that she would find a new place to live. The week I moved out she found a place to live. She also met a new guy that weekend. I know for a fact that she had just met him that week, so if there was ever an affair it was not with this guy.

She moved out at the end of that week. I moved back home, it’s now Six weeks later now. She stopped by last night to pick up some belongings. We have only talked a few times since she has moved away. We talked for a little bit and she tells me that she has been spending a lot of time with this guy she has met. I brought it up because I knew she had to have been since we weren't talkign. I was ok with this and know that we are going to be divorcing shortly.

My problem is that I do not understand how someone can just jump into a relationship so quickly. I am not sure if it was to ease the pain from us splitting up or if its something else. My wife came from a very broken family both her parents had multiple marriages 3 or more each. I figure that this is part of why she doesn’t see marriage as anything more than a piece of paper. That’s why she can just walk away from it. I was her second husband as well. I worry that she is in a downward spiral and at some point when this new feeling of love is gone that she is going to regret things. I care about her so much, but if this does happen I cannot pick up the pieces. I tried everything to fix my marriage, but she has gone too far.

I am not sure if she is lookign for revenge on me, she has in past said she wanted her revenge. There is really nothing for her to get revenge on me for, but in her head I think she believes there is. Not sure if she really just wants to move on with her life. I am just looking for any advice on issues like this.

Be glad you are not the fourth different father of this womans children.

This might be true, but doesn't change the reality of the situation. It's easy to walk away, but I try to be a man about this. I see her life headed for a disaster and in the end I won't be there to pick up the pieces. I tried to wake her up and was brutally honest, but she doesn't want to see it.

Nicu, do some reading on co-dependency.

You are not responsible to 'pick up the pieces' of her poor choices.

Nicu, you're electing yourself as her rescuer.

She does not want to be rescued.

Walk away from this. Part of being a good man is exercising good judgment when situations arise and, as KR sang, you've got to "know when to fold 'em, and know when to run".

as in run like he//, don't worry about folding them, just run

"Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
"Know when to walk away, know when to run"

Sorry, I was a big KR fan for awhile.

What ended your WW's previous marriage? BTW, she is in an affair unless you got a quickie D before she met this guy.

And you can thank your lucky stars for that. Her life is already a disaster. I feel really bad for those kids being dragged through so many relationships with their mother. I imagine they're going to be pretty screwed up adults.

Get out now while you can. Even if you recovered your marriage, it is not likely that it would stick given her history.

Supposedly her husband had cheated on her. Yes, she is now in an affair, but I do not know if their was an affair prior to our separation.

I agree with you. The things that are happening will have a heavy toll on her children. The life she is creatign for her children is the same life she lived through as a child. I know this was hard on her and where most of her problems come from. Having lived through this I don't see how she can do the same to her children.