My husband has a gambling and marijuana addiction. He denies that these are a problem yet refuses to give them up. His father recently died of cancer and his addictions got so bad that I had to leave. We have a young child, a 20 month old baby. I left and am living in an appartment. He still denies he has a problem and instead insists that I am the problem our marriage does not work. He thinks we should just divorce. I do not want to divorce but I don't know what else to do. Advice please.

I feel your pain - my husband is an alcoholic and he has pushed me as far as I am willing to go. I also have 2 babies - my daughter just turned one in October and I had my sone in September. His MO is to disappear and be gone all night long - supposedly out drinking - but I am suspecting that there is more to it than that, either another woman or drugs. This last week I finally had the courage,as he was sitting at home recovering from his nocturnal adventures, to draw up divorce papers and custody papers to file in court that would award me sole custody of our two kids and place provisions like he can't drink within 12 hours of seeing the children and they are supervised visits. I gave them to him and told him that the rest of what will happen is up to him. He is still resisting getting help, but he is trying to keep me happy. I am not stupid h owever and I am keeping a very tight leash right now. He knows that I kept the date open for when we quit living together on the form and I will get everything I want in the divorce becasue he has no chance of winning. I have too many people willing to testify to his addiction. YOu need to take steps to secure you and your child's safety - both physical and financial. I know that my husband won't support his kids becasue he doesn't do it now, so I am currentyl job hunting for something that pays more so when I am ready to leave - becasue he will mess up againI will be more than ready to go. I hope that he can change, but he isn't doing anything to fix his addiction, so I know the end is near. Keep your chin up and know that you are makingthe right choice to leave that situation.

It is so hard to believe I am doing the right thing. My husband has told all his friends and I feel like everyone thinks it is my fault. That I am cold and heartless since he just loss his father 3 months ago. He seems to have stopped the craziness since I left a month ago, but he has made no indications of wanting the baby and I back in fact he has done the opposite and has encouraged the separation and a divorce.