Been marreied 11 yrs., together for 14. Two kids and very happy. Recently my wife joined a social networking website (facebook) and has been on the site every day. A lot of it is old friends, etc. but she has connected with three or four old boyfriends as well. I had told her it was fine just keep me informed as her staying in touch with old flames has been an issue as she did it behind my back early on in our relationship. Conversations seem to be harmless however I have noticed she sometimes tries to hide them from me. I have now found myself checking email, etc. She thinks I am being a jealous freak. I do trust her, but can't seem to get my arms around this...I have never reconnected with any old girlfriend and it just puzzles me. Again, I don't think there is anything going on as all of these guys live faraway and there has been no hint of any inappropriate dialogue - am I being crazy or should I be worried?

There is NO reason she should be contacting old boyfriends, or any male for that matter. You need to explain to her the theory of a marriage, I think.

I guarantee it will segue into a relationship. Stop it now.

That said, if you do that, you need to be looking at your relationship and seeing what YOU can do to improve it. If life was great at home, she wouldn't be getting this Emotional Need met elsewhere. Have you read the concepts here about Love Busters and Emotional Needs?

I have not read that but will look into it. The funny thing is that I do feel like we get along great except for this thing.

I also think that in one or two cases the guys reached out to her and she simply responded. It really does seem harmless when I think about it...maintaining old friendships in some respect...she has me thinking I am too over bearing by worrying and part of me agrees.

Go over to the Infidelity site here, and read some of the threads. You'll see that almost all of them started out exactly the way your wife is doing. Harmless talk to someone of the opposite sex. Someone to listen to them. Someone without the baggage of your marriage. Someone they don't have to defend themselves against. Someone who's excited to be talking to them. It's all a head rush, and she's going to get addicted to it.

Shake up your marriage, and make sure you and she are spending 15 hours a week together doing fun and bonding things. She won't have time for that computer, and it won't seem as interesting, if she's got fun stuff to do with you.

Of course its all your fault. You are controlling and overbearing and the only safe harbour is for her to seek solace in another mans arms, who is much more understanding and sensitive than you.

She is on the lookout my friend. She is looking to have her needs met by someone else. Many of us here have heard the same ol tune. They are just friends. You are paranoid. Its not what you think. Blah Blah Blah.

She is playing with fire in a room filled with gunpowder and you are paranoid of an explosion. She is gaslighting you (putting you on)

Get a key logger and see for yourself what is going on.