To begin, I have written on here before stating my situation with my wife and how she has had an affair and how after being caught and pinned down to advice and making decision, she opened up to me and begged for forgiveness and told me that she would never hurt me again like this. Well, OM contacts didn't stop immediately after this and my wife informed me of them. So, I figured that she was finally being transparent and honest with me about the entire situation. So, I contacted the other guy and let him know that this is not going to be tolerated and if I heard of one more contact, I would pay a visit and discuss this with him. Well, it has stopped...I believe.

My wife seems to be making a concerned effort from time to time. But, there are sometimes that is as bad as they ever were with her and her constantly stating that she is confused and not know what to do and how she is struggling within her mind and heart. She states that she knows in her mind what is the right thing to do. But, her heart is tugging her in a different direction and telling her to do something totally different. Her actions toward me are totally off the charts schizophrenic. One minute, we will be at each other on the edge of who is getting in the car to go to the court house to get divorce papers first. I will still be a little miffed about the whole discussion and she will come over and have a brand new attitude and lay down on top of me on the couch with her arms around me. I have stated that she needs to stop playing games with my heart due to driving me crazy. Then tonight, I believe that I have reached the point to where I have had enough. She left tonight to go and purchase a book and get some groceries. Well, she was gone for a few hours and did come home with the groceries. She stated that she forgot a coupon for the book and that is the reason she didn't pick it up. Well, honestly, I don't buy it. She is the type of person that counts down the days for books of a certain two authors to come out to make a bee line for the store to get them.

What insued next is the point that I believe pushed me over the edge and, I believe, to the point of not being receptive to her affection (how little it is) anymore. She made the statement that she is still confused and that she has had talks with her mother about what she needs to do. She stated that her mother told her that she could stay in the marriage for our son's sake of bringing him up in a normal family oriented home and be unhappy for a while or could leave and search for happiness and place our son in the middle of traveling here to stay for a week and then go there to stay for a week like a ping pong ball. Honestly, my thought on the situation is that she will stay in this marriage and come around and be happy in a half year or more. But, as I was walking away from her tonight after she had said her part of the discussion, I made one statement that I am firmly in belief as to what is going to happen. I told her that "One day, you are going to be living happy with me and XXXXXX (my son) and you are going to realize what you have done and feel sorry for treating me the way you have. One day, you are going to be sitting with your hands over your eyes feeling sorry that you have wasted so much time trying to beat me up and doing me the way you have." I left the room and am not discussing this anymore.

This is the part where I need advice. Should I continue to stay in this house and just do my duties as a husband in regards to house duties and taking care of my son? Or, should I take the route of leaving the house? This is going to be difficult due to not working in the area and not having too many places to stay around here, I wouldn't get to see my son hardly at all. I probably would only get to see him on the weekend or something along those lines. I just don't know how any of this will turn out. But, can this forum give me some advice as to what might be the best way to handle this? Thank everyone ahead of time for help, advice and conversation regarding this issue.

Go-N-Cra-Z!!!!

She is most definitely having an affair son. Unless she is willingly disclosing things like passwords, schedules etc so that you can check up on her about contact with OM, I would bet my house that contact with OM persists.

Get yourself a keylogger on your computer like AceSpy, use a voice activated recorder in the car - do whatever you have to do to discover the affair and then expose.

Do not leave your family home either.

a few hours to NOT buy a book and pick up some groceries??

how many groceres DID she come home with. As a SAHD, I can attest that I can easily spend over an hour in the store, but I'll come home with over $100 bucks worth of food.


start paying more attention to her schedules and her car milage - it can tell you more than you think

Let me get into this a little bit more...We have been had many discussions about this other guy and she assures me that she hasn't spoke to him since the date she insisted that she was going to quit. From the phone records (calls in, calls out, text messaging, etc.), her statement has held true. As far as the trip last night, I am still a little skeptical regarding the trip. But, her times and what not do sort of make sense. So, I am really not going to jump to conclusions about it. In explaining the timing issue, the mall is approximately 40-45 minutes away. So, if she went to the mall, then she would have approximately 1 hour and a half in travel time. She could have been in the mall for a while and then stopped at the store on the way home. So, I will give her that much. My real problem is that she stated that she needed to get away a little bit for time to think and really didn't say much when she got back. She pretty much just said that she was still confused, as I have stated in the post. I am confused as well as to what I should do in handling this situation. I don't know whether I should just stay at the house and carry on, take care of my son and live life or move out and tell her that I can't live in these conditions anymore. I know if I stay, that eventually the bond will grow back again. But, I don't know if my mind can take it through the time that it will take. What are the thoughts on this as to whether to stay at home or make a move out?

As previously mentioned.

DO NOT MOVE OUT.... It can be turned into abandonment.

Spyware on the computer.
GPS track the car.
Tap the home phone.
Record cellphone call logs.

You've got work to do. You will have no power, you will lose all intel if you move out.

Get busy.. Now

Real time gps for the car.