My boyfriend is divorced with 2 girls (ages 7 and 9). I am single, employed, own my home, and have no children. My boyfriend's sister moved in with him last year from another state. Her intentions were to do some traveling for a few months and possibly find a great job in medicine elsewhere. At that time she showed zero interest in staying in this area. He did ask how I felt about it and I thought it was a good idea. Fourteen months later, I am fed up. She traveled approximately 10 weeks last year. She ended up getting a job in the area back in May after doing nothing. She is paid very well and has not contributed financially to his household. I feel like I am an outsider when I go to his house. She acts as if she is the girls mother and steps on my boyfriend's toes from time to time. Not to mention, mine! He says that his house is my house; however, three adults ( he is 38, and his sister and I are 35) is a crowd. He has said over and over that she is not going to stay there but she has no reason to leave. Making great money and living for free..come on. I have tried and tried to wait this out but it is starting to create much conflict in our relationship. I feel he needs to say something to her or it will never end. I know that he doesn't want to be the bad brother who kicks his sister out. Am I overreacting? What to do?

It sounds to me like he likes having his sister live there and I can't think of anything wrong with that. It is his house, after all.

If you don't like his sister, why don't you have him visit you at your house?

Thanks for your input. Actually, I do like his sister and I don't want this to come between us. I do not want to cause conflict between my boyfriend and his sister. As for my boyfriend coming to see me, it won't work. He has custody of his girls and lives over an hour away. I wasn't able to put all info in the previous post. My boyfriend is quite ready for her to move out and complains quite a bit. Both he and I thought she would be out a long time ago based on her plans and comments about the area. She has become quite comfortable and I believe that she is just waiting to find a man and move in with him. I feel that she is taking advantage of him and is waiting for the next man to do the same. I don't believe that she wants to move out on her own. She wants to have children in a bad way. I am upset because she manipulates him and makes him feel bad when he mentions moving on. He is just hoping that she will see the light so that he doesn't have to evict her. He agreed that if she hadn't started looking for a place by January that he would tell her that she has to move out by March. He wants me to put my house on the market and has mentioned marriage. I will not move into his house with her on the premises and he knows this. I feel that by her being there, it is preventing our relationship from taking that next step forward. thanks

Sounds like he has a plan in place. Could you suggest to him that he let his sister know of this NOW, instead of waiting until January? I can see why he wouldn't want to toss her out during the holidays, but she's grown and has the means to support herself. She's playing house with her brother!

I can empathize. My H has a sister like that. We helped her out years ago, and she had the nerve recently to ask if she and her two kids could move into our already-packed house (we're a family of six!) so she could "start a new life". H told her no. Now she's mad, thinks he's selfish, thinks that FOO should come before wife and children. Sheesh. I like his sister, too, but if she wants to be angry with me for taking her lifeline, so be it.

This deal about her moving out by March has been going on since late September. He mentioned last night that he was worried that she won't leave by March and he'll have to evict her. I am in total agreement with you about letting her know now and not waiting for January to come around. This would give her more time to figure out what she was going to do and where. I made that suggestion to him as recently as last night. He doesn't want to ruin her holiday season. I really want a relationship with his sister but this has really made me lose respect for her.