Life's good.

It will seem that 09 will be a very good year indeed! My guy and I will most likely be getting engaged very soon.

I'm still in touch with some MB'ers. It's wonderful how you meet people, go thru a life changing experience and make lifelong friends in the process isn't it?

He and I are doing wonderfully. He's incredible. We're reading HNHN right now and we're going to have our first thanksgiving together along with his family (from in and out of town)next week. I never believed I'd ever really fall in love again and sometimes I wish somebody would just pinch me. We've been going strong for almost a year now.

My son's big now, almost as big as I am. He's 10. :MrEEk: A fantasic little baseball player! He's also an honor student and doing well. T loves him and he loves T also. He treats my son as though he were his own.

Next year we'll probably marry in the summer..so he'd better get moving on the engagement part soon! We're all ready. His family knows, my family knows, and they love him and his family thinks it's great.

As for the xh? Well he's still a ws. Big time. And he and the w were separated for the umpteenth time as of a few weeks ago but are doing the fake holiday reconciliation thing. He was busted several weeks back by her PI with not one but TWO other women. He's been having a long term a with one. What goes around comes around. He also has been arrested 2x this year, once for assaulting her PI and the other for another issue. He's such a winner ya'll. :RollieEyes: I've been divorced now for 4 years and I can say that after trying as hard as I did, then washing my hands clean of him, I was finally ready to move on.

Last several years (5) have been a blur. Completely. But it's been worth it. My son and I are very close and next year, my guy and I once we marry will be most likely suing for total custody instead of joint next year.

Just wanted to say hello. Wish everybody :happythanksgiving: and say that I'm gonna come back...this time on this board and on the soon to be married/engaged board!

Wishing everybody lots of love and health and happiness!

MB helped me so much, I am very grateful for all you did to help me back then.

Um...just looked over at premarriage..and it seems that isn't the board for us.

We're 100 percent great, very grounded and in love.

Which board here is for couples wanting to remain in love always? Kinda like an MB encouraging board?

I've been away for a while and things seem a bit different.

I think you should post it on any board since it gives us newly betrayeds hope that things can get better...I for one am very happy for you!

Peachy,
Wow, haven't seen you here in a while. Glad to hear all is well.
And I remember when all our kids were much younger.

Remember to cherish every day, especially as you read GG's news.
Take Care.

Peachy,
I am so happy to hear the good news. Love is alive!
Do keep in touch and continue to inspire us who are still searching.

All the best for 2009 and the years to come,
Ruff

Good for you!!

Hot damn! That is so cool!

all my best,
-ol' 2long

Hi Peachy!

Congratulations! Glad to hear how happy you are, I wish you all the best!!

Your ex sounds bipolar. Can I just say one little thing re the full custody? Try not to push him out of your son's life completely. By all means, go for custody but don't bar him from ever seeing your son. From what I have seen in life, kids want both their parents, no matter what kind of losers they are. In a few years he will see things for what they are and be adult enough to make his own decisions. If you try and keep dad away, it may backfire and make your son seek him out even more.

Good luck with everything!!
S.

Peachy - Glad to see your update. It is always so encouraging to newbies, when people that didn't save their marriage post again and are happy.

Hey everybody!

Wow have I missed you!

And i also give all my love to GG.

It's been a rollercoaster the last 4 years since divorcing. X was horrible, I went thru financial hell, and finally got things slowly back on track despite all he did to us.

I won't ever kick xh out of son's life forever. My son is free to do what he wishes and I have always actually prayed that his dad would come to his senses and be the dad that his children need. The former oc is 4 and a half now. She's a cutie. I get along great with her. My guy and I took her, her brother (my son's step brother) all apple picking a few weekends ago. I bear no grudges against xow anymore because..hey she had to live with him? That was the best revenge ever. Giving her what she wanted. I love the kids and it's what it is. Not that it's an ideal situation, but I'm good with kids. Children are innocent and we have to love them thru a difficult situation right?

Well x is still cheating. Like mad. And burning thru $$ left and right. He's almost made them lose all their savings and since he was back to his playboy ways as of the last year, he's also almost depleted his entire salary for the year. Been late every month on the measley amount of CS he gives us..but I work and am blessed to be at a stable hospital with a good job.

It's amazing the life path an unrepentant WS goes down isn't it? Like watching from afar somebody spiral downward with no hope of stopping. And I haven't had feelings about this in probably 3 years now. It hurt terribly the first year after he divorced and he left us also in financial shambles lying to the courts, giving false documents of disclosure and $$ and such..but I just sucked it up and moved on.

All of you have no idea how wonderful it is to have friends here. Getting thru the darkest days of your life with a few laughs is priceless.

If you just persevere, stick to YOUR life plan (which if you're in plan B doesn't include a WS anyway, then to plan D which is about kids and then to plan R which is about YOU turning life around :)) I think you'll pretty much do wonderfully.

My heart really goes out to GG. I remember all oldtimers from here and our struggles. I will cherish each day and keep her in my prayers too.

So glad to hear from you!

Now here's the only issue from me. I've lived alone for over 4 years now. And since you all know how awful my x was and the divorce, I do get a little nervous when my guy brings the topic of M around. I love him, do want to marry him, know he's going to ask soon, but I want to get over this little bit of fear.

We are in process of picking out our church home, and all's great. My family loves him, His family loves me and my son, and it is a complete 180 from my prior situation. Yet, sometimes I feel a bit scared. I guess it's because I went thru so much. But I know he's the one. He loves us and my son so much. He's actually so much more there for my son than his own father is. He wants to go the MB approach for us (we always spend more than 15 hours doing things together a week) and he's not the cheating kind of man. Loving, intelligent, faithful, very attractive if I might add, and is very sound financially. He is very pro family also.

I just know that I would never want to endure ever anything like I did before b/c it was so darn bad. Even my friends who are divorced agree my divorce was one of the worst they'd heard of. And my x is one of the worst x's around. Bar none.

Any suggestions on getting over the teeny little bit of fear? It's NOT MUCH. But sometimes at random times, it pops its head up. All my friends and family say this is natural given what I went thru and whether I wait one more day to get engaged, 10 years, or almost my entire lifetime, that it would be normal to feel that way after what my x did...

Thoughts?

I dunno Peach. On one hand, it seems we are old enough to figure out what we want and a year should be enough time to tell. On the other hand, you've only known each other a year and that's pretty quick to be making lifelong decisions that affect not only you, but your son.

Is everyone that has been through what we have scared to get re-married? Probably a little. Probably even those who haven't been through what we have should be scared.

I remember what GG said, or at least sort of what she said (she'll have to clarify)...she couldn't breathe and then it all felt right and she was happy as she knew she would be when she said yes.

I think no matter how well you know someone there is a little luck involved when it comes to marriage. How do we know for sure how hard they are going to work to save it when the unexpected happens? We think we know and we hope we are right but there's always going to be risk.

Best of luck and I am glad you are happy. You also have more grace and class then I do because I don't have anything to do with OC. I have seen the child but doubt I would recognize her if she were not w/exH.