If it was WHs he'd be buried under the patio by now

This girl is a class act, this will be her 3rd child, 1st one she was 16 and started sleeping with a boy, within a matter of weeks she was pregnant, boy walked away as to him it was casual sex...paternity not proved. Girl turns 19 sleeps with my WH twice, oh look she gets pregnant again obviously WH walks away as (other than the fact she's an ugly tramp) we want to stay together and work on our family. Paternity proved but OW never asked for the results...seems she likes having children and no fathers involved to question anything she does. Girl is now 22, having casual sex with a 40year old who is single with a grown up family - he's pointed out its just a bit of fun and he doesn't want anymore children, she agreed it was a bit of fun (i've seen proof of this myself).....I emailed the guy and warned him what OW is like and he basically told me to f off...turns out i warned him too late she was already 10weeks pregnant. He emailed me to apologise ha ha he's now awaiting the birth next year to have a paternity test as he does not believe the child is his.

So once a mistake, twice pushing it, three times its deliberate, planned and premeditated. How can a woman raise children like that...in cases like this it makes you think some people should be sterilised. Ironically both the 'father' of the first child has been in contact with me because i understand what he's had to go through and now the current 'father' has been in contact for the same reason - i should start charging them!

WH is kicking himself he ever touched her, i think its only just sinking in how much she gets about and how badly he risked his,mine and our baby's health by having unprotected sex with her.

I feel so sorry for her children....a few weeks after paternity was proven for WHs OC i started a memory box for the OC and WHs mother has started a savings account for him...so although we have NC if OC ever comes knocking on the door we can let him know we never forgot him. I feel very guilty he's missing out on having a father in his life but we couldn't figure out a way of making it work.

Ok.........I'll take a stab at this one. Since your H doesn't have contact and isn't paying CS, then why do you care what she's doing? It has no impact on you. Why would you call someone you don't even know to give then your opinion on this woman?

I would have probably said F-off too. So this girl/woman has 3 children with 3 different men, and she's not collecting a cent from any of them? Ok, maybe she's a trampy promisicious woman, and I wouldn't want her in my life either. But she's certainly not a "golddigger" and what she's done with these other 2 men isn't really any of your business. I am not trying to be mean here, but you contacting these other men is inappropriate.

Either you are getting off on meddling, or you are trying to get even because she slept with your H.

P.S. And you saying "HA HA" to the second man (even if it was in your head) proves my point. I think you love what's going on are very happy to put yourself right in the middle of it!

Yeah I would have to agree this is pretty bizarre. If your H has NC with the OW or OC, and isn't being pushed to be financially responsible I would think you would be on cloud nine.


I know you are hurt, all of us here are, but focus on your relationship with your husband, put all of your energy into rebuilding your relationship and taking care of yourself not wasting time on some baby mama that isn't worth the time or effort.

I just realized that we've beeen talking over the past few days, didn't recognize your screen name. All I have to say is that is the posts that we sent each other seemed heartfelt and true.

What you posted today doesn't even seem like you are the same person. What happened to make you change your tune so quickly?

I am actually a nice person honestly but although we have NC and don't pay CS it hasn't stopped OW harassing us, well me. I wouldn't mind if it was for a reason like she wanted CS or for us to have C but instead its just bad mouthing me, WH and our children even though its her who wants NC etc. She wants to play the victim and when you know people who genuinely have it hard, it makes watching someone like that con other people even harder to stomach. I can't deny it felt a bit good to get a bit of revenge but it was more the fact I would have felt like a bad person not to at least try and warn the guy. God knows I wish someone could've warned me.

I'd also discovered she'd been posting personal stuff about my children on public forums, even down to private details about when I was in labour recently. I know i'm here on a public forum but she went out of her way to locate me on a site i'm a member of before she joined and starting writing lots of cr*p. I would never do anything to hurt her children or cause them pain or involve them in any of this. Unfortunately I have family who still live in the same town as her and i've always said I don't care what she does so long as she doesn't talk about me or my children because we are not her business. But apparently i'm her weekly topic.

And yes I do keep tabs on her but that is because there is a large chance that child will turn up on our doorstep one day and I want him to know and have proof that we didn't forget him and that it wasn't that we weren't interested - we weren't allowed to be interested. I couldn't control my childhood but I can control (to an extent) the rest of my life.

I don't think there are many BS who can say they wouldn't like to see karma in action. Sorry if i've come across as a horrible person....you guys are the last people I want to isolate right now.

I completely understand your "obsession" with her. She has set out to harm you and your children. It is frustrating and infuriating, however, you cannot control what she does so the best you can do is live your life well and set aside some money each month in case she comes looking for CS in the future.

Wow: Ladybutterfly--
There's a saying that two wrong dosn't make it right. I am going to be honest here. As much as the other woman have wronged you at so many level, you shouldn't be responding the way you have. Contacting the other man that she's currently messing with is just so low and not classy.

This makes you sound desperate and insecure about your life and your marriage. Yes, you should feel a little bit this way since your husband betrayed you. But it sound to me that you are putting MORE blame on the other woman than addressing the problems with your husband. Yes, you do have a lot of venom but there's a right way to show it. No one is perfect. She made mistakes and continue to make them. Best you can do is be responsible for your own mistake and actions.

Perhaps you are trying to deny a lot of thing? Maybe you DO have major issues in your marriage to begin with and having your husband stray was just an icing to the cake. Try not to make your husband less innocent than this other woman. He is just as guilty if not more. Hope this is not hurtful. I just want to be honest. That's all.

My WHs two encounters with OW were the only issues when it happened obviously we have issues now because of that but he's making up for it and is sorry - I'm well aware out of everyone involve he was most in the wrong because he was already in a relationship but she was a work friend and knew we were together. OW is going around saying things about me and my children, the only ones completely innocent in it all*, I have asked her to back off and leave me and my children out of it but she wouldn't and as i'm not a violent person and wouldn't want to be I saw this option and took advantage of it. It wasn't even about C/NC or CS...it was just abuse. Funny enough since I did this she hasnt said a single thing about me or my babies. I'm friends with OWs new baby daddy's daughter, who's the same age as me, I just didn't know she was his daughter until weeks after OW and her dad started having casual sex, I told her and let her decide if he should know or not.

Of course i'm insecure, i wouldnt be here trying to heal if everything was fine and great.

(*obviously OC and her previous child/new baby is innocent too before any one thinks i missed them on purpose lol)
There's also that saying keep your friends close but your enermies closer.....a leopard never changes its spots....do unto others as you would have them do to you.

I appreciate your reply though, i never said what I did was right but I wouldn't say it was 100% wrong either.

(((LB)))

It's hard, I know.

Hey Ladybutterfy:
I just re-read my response to your post. I don't know what I was thinking when I posted it but perhaps, I could have been a bit more sensitive, more understanding and less judgmental. I am sorry.

Sometimes my words does not come out right. I don't know if you'll accept this explanation but English is my THIRD language and I am still trying to master it. Sometimes when I communicate via writing, it comes out sounding wrong and rude. If you know what I mean... I meant to give constructive opinion but instead it came out as insensitive and mean. Again, sorry.

Sometimes it's aweful to try to get your point across over the internet or e-mailing. My husband and I have numerous fight over this because I'd get mad over something he wrote on the messenger because I have taken them the wrong way. And sometimes I'd write something that was intended to be nice or atleast matter of facts but it comes wrong.

What I am trying to say is...I should have paid attention to the way I wrote back to you and my choice of words. You sound like a strong person and if I was in your situation, I'd probably have given up. I like the quote that you used. :-)

I also like this one..'JUDGE NOT LEAST YE BE JUDGE'-- My favorite.

Hope things will work out for you. I pray that hope I don't have to go through the pain like this cause I am not sure I could even handle it. You're strong for enduring and continuing with life.