Hi all, I am having a hard time with Plan A right now. I am doing it, my WH is surprised at how well I have taken the discovery of his EA and we are actually talking the way I wish we had for the last few years. My problem is I am having a hard time being patient. There has been NC, as far as I am told, for about 4 weeks. ( The EA lasted 6 weeks, mostly emails/texts/phone calls. My story is on the Just Found Out board.)
WH tells me he still has feelings for the OW. And that he is really trying hard to 'figure it out'. I do not want to live a lie and 'celebrate' the holidays with his family. Only his sister knows and she is counseling him to work on our marriage. But WH's parents don't know nor his brother. I told WH that I can't go through a dinner with them because they are the type of people who question everything. I told WH that if anyone asks how I am or we are I will tell them honestly. Sort of like "Please pass the gravy. By the way, your darling son has a whore." Actually, it sounds like it would a memorable Thanksgiving! FYI - his mother is very sick and this news would literally cause her a health setback therefore MY telling her is not in the cards. I want WH do it so he knows his EA caused his mother to get sicker.
My family knows and they do not want to see him until I tell them our marriage is going to work out. My brother, who I am very close to, has made it plain that he will not have anything to do with WH for quite a long time after we recover (hopeful, ain't I). WH and my brother have always been pretty close so my brother is taking his betrayal of me very hard. My sister, who will be having Christmas at her house is essentially feeling the same as my brother but is trying to be nicer in phrasing it too me.
We have 4 kids, all young enough to believe in Santa. WH wants to go to his sister house for Xmas since my family is not an option this year. She lives in another state and it is about an 8 hour drive so this will be at least 5 days with his family. Frankly, I don't want to go to either holiday this year as I feel our status is in limbo until he 'decides what he wants'.
In order for Plan A to work, should I accompany him to his parents for Thanksgiving and to his sisters in December? I really want our marriage to work but his indecision is driving me crazy!!!
