Just popping in. Not much going on here. Pretty quiet today, at least for now.

Gonna head to church tonight with DS10 and then gonna come home and bake goodies with the kids.

Staying as busy as I can. Hope ya'll have a relaxing evening.


Muah :happythanksgiving:

Then you are doing a great Plan B. When you are doing a good, dark Plan B, there is nothing to report. It takes some getting used to, but you are doing fine.

That was the biggest problem I had with Plan B. After months of all kinds of action, nothing happened.

Yeah feels weird that's for sure. So quiet, not sure that I like it. Feels like nothing is moving forward but i guess it beats WS bull sh1t!

Emotionally I guess I'm okay, have moments of sadness but try to push my way though them. Trying to stay focused for the kids.

If I'm feeling sad in the morning I'll just allow myself to cry in the shower where the kids can't see because I want the kids to have as good as can be Thanksgiving.

I was wondering how you were doing. Hope you have a peaceful, Ramen-free Thanksgiving.

T2L,

Here is hoping that you have a blessed and VERY HAPPY Thanksgiving! :happythanksgiving:

Savor your :gobblegobble: and enjoy every minute of it.

Turkey Ramen for him? Uhhh, ummmmm..........GOOD!

Beam

How-day! Kids and I just winding up our Thanksgiving baking. We had a nice time. I came home from church and the kids had decorated half the tree and house. It looked great. Then we all finished up decorating the Christmas tree. We always set up the tree on Thanksgiving.

H did not call the kids all day. Think he's having a pity party. He just sent DD17 some random texts. DD17 was particularly feisty and sends him a bragging texts of all the goodies we were making and his answer was, have fun. He never said goodnight and didn't even make his nightly call to DS10-pathetic! He's going to take out his anger of me on his son...ARGGGGGG! I hope he burns his lip on his Turkey ramen!

Anyways we had a fun evening and now were gonna taste test all our sweets and its midnight.

Hope ya all have a great Thanksgiving....letcha know how it goes. Hopefully it will be uneventful. :gobblegobble:

:happythanksgiving:

Be sure to thank God for all the work He is doing that you know NOTHING about.

LOLOLOL! Thanks, made me giggle. Am up and around and cooking already. Went to sleep thinking too much, but surprisingly I thought I would be really upset this morning as soon as I opened my eyes but I wasn't.

If the rest of the day goes this way, then were doing good!

Thank you Lord for all you are to me, and all you've given to me. I thank you for all the amazing people here you have sent to me to help and encourage me, thank you for my kids and church and church family, thank you for my health, thank you for the food, clothing and shelter you have provided me with, thank you for this great nation that though its in hard times I am blessed for being here, and thank you for doing a work in my H that I maybe cannot see(see Neakie pooh), let it be a deep work Lord and let it be quick( ) and give me grace to make it. AMENNNNNN!

Muah!
:gobblegobble: :happythanksgiving: :pumkin:

Well its almost 9PM Pacific time. I am pretty sad, as H never called or texted the kids today. Thought he would make the 8:30PM call but have heard nothing yet. Even last night we thought maybe H would call the kids or text good night. All he did was send a text to DD17 saying throw me some turkey. He never said good night to the kids.

How can a person do that? If he is angry at me for no contact why take it out on the kids. I mentioned to DS10 that his dad might call about 8:30 and he said he didn't care he didn't want to talk to him. DD17 says I am starting to not care about him because I realize he doesn't care about us. {{{Sigh}}}

I am hoping that this is a sign of anger and NOT anger that is turning to indifference.

I think he's playing "chicken" with you, to see who break's first.

Don't play the game.

BTW - I've been following your thread from the start. You've been doing GREAT. Your H's an idiot if he doesn't come back to the M.

MIM,
Awe thanks, I guess we can say we've concluded he is an idiot already LOL. Thanks for following my thread pop in anytime if have anything you think may help. It sure helps to hear that coming from a man, oddly enough.

I am not going to play his game and break the darkness. Still so hard. Does anyone one if a spouse starts off as angry can they then turn indifferent?

Well DD17 finally got a text page from her dad saying "hope you had a good day", oh did I mention it was at 11PM?!?!?!?!? She didn't respond. Not even a hello or how was your day or I love you or tell DS10 anything....UGGGGG! I mean it was Thanksgiving for crying out loud, don't ignore your own kids.

Was talking with lildoggie and she was explaining some stuff about your love bank draining during Plan B, boy feels like mine is draining much more rapidly than it was in Plan A, any tips anyone?

Tomorrow is exactly 2 weeks in Plan B. Amazing how 1 person can be so selfish and ruin their own lives and drag an entire family with them and then turn it on the betrayed spouse and accuse them of being selfish and controlling. Go figure?!?!?

Stop giving waynerd a free pass to get inside your head.
Everytime thoughts about waynerd slip into your consciousness - do 10 jumping jacks while singing a song from a Disney movie (pick one).

You need to *freeze* his account!!! Plan B means you fill your life with activities, interests, things for you, do the things you always wanted to do, become the person you want to become...

What's your plan for today? Taking any salsa lessons???

Ok I'll sing under the sea while doing girly push-ups, maybe the 2 for 1 will help. LOL

Ohhh, so waynerd isn't way-hole, or waysterd? Glad you clarified...Ok sorry its that inner monologue sneaking into my conscious...ok I'm lying I'm fully thinking he is an a-hole and a b@$[censored]!

But hey on the bright side the push ups will help lift the tatas!

Oh freeze his account, I see that's why I was trying to burn it LMAO!

I know I Gotta focus more on me I feel my self starting to hate him.

I know I need to fill more on things I want to do, I just get swayed when he does crap to the kids. When he does then I get focused on him again and remember everything and start to drain the bank super hard and super fast.

Now I get to do it again for Christmas. Its hard there's only so much you can tell your kids when you can't figure out your self why he's ignoring them. The only thing I could think if was tell DS10 that daddy is not mad at you I'm sure he loves you he is just mad at mom so that's probably why he isn't calling.

I wonder truly if I am even going to make it. I wonder if I am even going to like him in a few months. Its a scary thought, I may actually hate the dude when the Holidays are over.

Yes, yes, PUSHUPS!!!!!!! You will learn to STOP thinking about him. He does what he does because he is a WH and that is what they do. It is better not to think about it.

Get busier. I got to the point whenever I thought of WH, I made my brain start thinking about what color to paint the kitchen.

I know it is much harder when he neglects his children. Hang in there. You can do this.

Neglecting the kids is the worst. I used to do the same with making sure the kids knew how much he loved them. With my 10 yr old DS though, I have also been making a point to let him realize that his dad is selfish. I dont come out and say it but I do let him know that it is not acceptable behavior for a father/husband. BTW you are doing awesome.

On Thanksgiving I told the kids that I would like nothing more than to have daddy here with us, but he is not here by his choice. I told them he chose this by not cutting off contact with OW and choosing the family. They have both known about her right from the beginning as he told all 3 of us. So I don't cover for him not being there.

Well it's about 9PM Pacific and H has not called DS10 for his 8:30. Now it seems he's not talking much to DD17 much either. This will be 3 days no contact with DS10. I know he took tomorrow(Saturday) off during plan A as he thought we would all still be talking. It hurts me that he is doing this to DS10 as he suffers enough already, and has been sleeping with me almost full time again. We had made so much progress during Plan A, almost 3 weeks in his own bed. I guess we'll get there again.

I am guessing he may try and show up to DS10's football game. Of course it got moved a 3rd time to a new location in which he has not been notified since he must have given my IM"s a bunch of crap and now the IM's are postal mailing information and I cannot get him the new location to the game that quickly. Oh well, his choice. Should be quite hilarious if he goes to the wrong place. I'm sure he'll blow another gasket. Thought about having DD17 tell him but why. HE could have this information given to him but he refuses so its his a**.

The game is 30 minutes away so since I don't know what he will do and we have established he won't call me in enough time like last time. So I am going to watch the game from the opposing side and if he wants to take the kids to eat after the game I will go home. I have explained to DS10 that I will take him to ice cream or something when he gets home that I won't be going to lunch. No worries going to stay dark. I don't even want to risk sitting on our side. Sure hope they have 2 sides, some high schools don't.

Cried a good 20 minutes in the shower today. Kinda mad at myself for breaking down. I hate breaking down. AT this point I go back and forth between anger and sadness.

Just tired. Wish this would all just go away. Hard thing is I've done enough reading that even if I decided right now that I'm done and want a divorce it doesn't end there. I know it won't be any shorter than waiting because I'll have to deal with this jerk for the rest of my life because of the kids, but believe me the thought crosses my mind.

I am fully aware that I am whining too! Tomorrow will be better.

Looking forward to DS10's game. After this game they are 2 games away from super bowl. If they lose tomorrow then the season is over. I'll let you all know how it goes....

G'night ya'll....

You'll be ok, whatever happens. You're strong and confident and an amazing mom.

Focus on you and the kids and find happiness every day.

Don't worry about the breakdowns, they happen. Focus on how to pick yourself back up.

Take care!