I'm sorry if you feel we're pressuring you. I think we're all just trying to find alternatives for you so that the holiday doesn't seem so stressful. You'll do what you need to do. I just hope you make sure your H pulls his weight.

Can you call your in laws and tell them at you're putting them up at a hotel? Tell them, you just moved, your marriage is on the rocks, you are under the gun at work, and you are asking them not to be a burden on you. Who would stay with their DiL after that? Warn them that your H will try to talk them out of it, and you are asking them this one favor. Ask them how they'll feel about being the straw that broke the camel's back?

Have you told your H what you told us? Whether he's listening or not?

Jayne, I'm just brainstorming.

What about calling in sick at work?

If your in laws knew you had no furniture, they would know NOT to come stay. has someone told them there will be no furnature?

And suggested Christmas might be a better holiday to come visit?

Yes, the hotel, could you find one where there is a nice restaurant for the holiday meal? And at the maximum you could have them all over to see your new home and have some PIE.

We try and give you options ....even though, knowing you, you will end up nearly killing yourself trying to cook, entertain, and please everyone even if you have to buy 10 new beds!

Next you will be killing a live turkey and trying to skin it and de feather it and cook it. You take on so much girl.

You could rent beds, a dining table, complete catering and wine service, a dog for fun, a new husband or a male server, !!! and some "fake friends" and some kids to play with your kids, and have a wild time for Thanksgiving.

Sometimes the answer to a problem is to just "throw money at it". If your priority is to PLEASE PEOPLE!

Funny you should mention it. On the way into work this morning, as I do every morning, I passed the wild turkeys that were right beside the road. Would anyone miss just one???

I mean, there they are, nice and plump, just ambling along, not even skeered... it's only 3 days until Thanksgiving...

"JAYNE: WIFE, MOTHER, WORKING WOMAN, PIONEER!!!!"


:gobblegobble: :gobblegobble: :twobyfour: :twobyfour: :happythanksgiving:

I appreciate all y'all trying to come up with ideas. I get frustrated when the ideas are very very far off the mark and I hear "if you'd only do this..." but I know y'all are trying. Thank you for that.

Yes I've told him. I'm a talker. I thought he was going to explain things to his folks but he didn't. Last night he didn't say one way or the other, but he sounded like he still wanted them to come. He said his dad could help him put together the furniture. I fear that turning into this house being arranged precisely the way MIL wants it, like she did to H's Canada house. Although I don't know why it matters, if it isn't her way it'll be his way anyway.

Tonight he called from work to ask what I wanted for dinner and did I want him to pick something up on the way home. That's a huge improvement for him, the communication, the sharing of the choice. I suggested he look and see what they have for turkeys too. He said he'd read my email asking him to be in charge of the turkey, and he asked me a couple of questions about it. He also asked if the decision then was to tell his folks not to come. I said I thought it would be hard to do that now without seeming like a jerk. He said well we don't have to decide right now.

So it sounds like he's getting a frozen turkey, and it sounds like he realizes trying to defrost it in time is his responsibility.

:gobblegobble:

If only:

You could PAY your relatives NOT to come!

You could leave FOR TWO DAYS and let him entertain.

You could rent a big furnished home for two days and pretend it is yours!

You could have a meal delivered, call "Aging Services" and have a turkey meal delivered for T-Giving.

You could take your relatives down to the local "food lines" for the poor and tell them you "volunteer" every T-giving....to help feed the poor....

You could get your inlaws drunk and they wont know if you have carpet, furniture or anything. Just hand them drinks before they enter your home.

You could rent a large hall and invite everyone you know that is in this town including your laws and in laws.

You could rent a YURT to place in the backyard so your inlaws can have a place to sleep and the kids will have a place to play.

You could borrow a friends home to have T-giving in.

Rent a small restaurant and have the T--giving meal cooked for your family. It would impress the in laws.

I have many other ideas ---many many other ideas.

Oh, I like the Quaker outfit idea!!!!

Maybe we can set up a table outside, in the snow (the Pilgrims musta been farther south) and have the kids dress up as Indians. Maybe we can train one of the wild turkeys to sit in the middle as a centerpiece.

Since H likes cats instead of dogs, maybe I can catch one of them thar mountain lions and keep him as a pet.

I can guarantee two things about the Thanksgiving meal: it won't be Turkey Ramen and it won't be goat!

Jayne, I'm sorry if I came across as "If you'd only". I didn't realize that your in-laws were driving a long ways. It sounds like you want support more than suggestions.

I apologize if I added to your stress.

How about asking everyone to bring plate of food, rather than you doing it all? Given your moving and working situation, I think most people would understand. Besides, that makes it a really family event.

:MrEEk: You're right! I didn't realize it, I couldn't put my finger on it, but that's it!!! I was afraid I was being seen as wanting to whine instead of fix things... but the way you put it sounds sooooo much nicer.


That's ok. Thanks for the practice in asserting myself. I think.

You can't bring plates of food across the border.

ETA: The next person that suggests that, gets sent to the Toronto Airport Cavity Searchers!!!

This just in... MIL and FIL arrive tomorrow at 6 p.m.

Did I mention that at this moment we still have NO CARPET??? We have carpet pad installed in MOST of the house. At 6:00 tomorrow, the carpet guys will probably have completed the installation so we'll have carpet everywhere, but no furniture on it; I will be just getting the kids, and H will be driving home.

On the bright side: H was talkative during dinner tonight, and even suggested that we all write our name on the plywood floor in the living room, with the paint the boys are using for their cub scout regatta boats. I'd suggested several times that we should let the kids draw and spill paint on the plywood since it will just be covered up, and he kept saying he didn't want to let them do that. It was a good thing to do on the day before it gets covered up. Sorta like a time capsule or something.

Okay, fair enough they can't bring it with them, then, but they could still help with providing it.

(Woohoo!! Does that mean I get a trip to Toronto?? [I'm in Australia :D])

Thats awesome Jayne (the talking thing)Just a question, not accusing you or anything... you are so capable, you sound like the woman you accuse me of Do you let Jay do stuff? Take responsibility? I wonder what it was that got him 'into' the turkey. Hey the time capsule thing is excellent! We did something similar with the girls but less altristic, tell you another time

Another idea I got while reading re in laws, they could stop by the store since they should past I couple I guess, and get the desserts, or sweeties or something.