Hello Ladies. In some of my last posts I said that I was having a problem with my breast and it may be cancer. I had the mamogram, and unfortunetly, it is cancer.

I am scheduled for a lumpectomy on Wednesday. They may take the lymph nodes as a precaution or if they are involved already.

I am scared to death!!!! They say I will have radiation after, and hopefully not have to go through Chemo.

Do any of you have any experience with this or have a friend who has? I did check out some online support groups, but the horror stories were too much for me.

I'd just as soon have them remove my whole boob if it meant a full recovery. The ONLY good thing I can think about coming out of this is that H will have to put all his effort into me now. There will be no time for OW or OC. And yes, I did find out yesterday that he had seen the OC 2 weeks ago. I am not mad, I told him to do what he wanted. But he can no longer put the blame on me for not seeing OC because I called OW.

Any advice/knowledge would be greatly appreciated!

Dear Hurtmomof2,

First, I am so sorry to hear your diagnosis. Second, big hugs and prayers for you. Third, let me tell you that you are not alone. I am a 4 year, 2 tumor, stage III, grade III, triple negative, BRCA1 gene positive, BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR!

Bilateral mastectomy, chemo, radiation, reconstruction. Where you are right now is a very scary place. It does get better.

If you don't feel comfortable posting about any results or your journey, please send me a message and I will give you my email and cell phone number. It is important you have somebody you can reach out to that has been there.

I may not be a professional, but I have seen a lot, and have gone through enough to be able to offer an understanding ear.

Good luck, Hurt. I am here for you if you need.

Beam

Hi HM2-

I am also a breast cancer survivor and an American Cancer Society
Reach to Recovery volunteer. Just got trained! Contact the ACS and they will have a Reach to Recovery volunteer get in touch with you.

We are all one year treatment survivors and the ACS tries to match you with someone who has had a similar cancer and treatment choice.

When I get home from work I will get back on here with some more info and my email.

Don't worry, we will be here for you.

OH THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Yes I would love to talk to you. It's so funny how one day the worst thing in your life becomes the least of your worries the next day. OW/OC-DON"T CARE!!!!!

It is time to focus on me. I woke up today to the sobs of my oldest daughter (16) at 6AM. H said I think she's crying because she has her period and cramps. I knew better than that! I'm surprised I heard her because her room, although on the same floor is quite far from ours. That's how loud she was. She said that she is afraid that I am going to die, because I also have Lupus and she thinks I won't be able to fight the cancer.

She does not want to live with H if I don't make it. She will hardly speak to him because she knows about OW and OC, she is very loyal to me. I had to give her a half a valium and lay with her. I woke our Nanny to get our 9 year old off to school and the little ones breakfast. I told her I had to deal with my daughter. We actually fell asleep for a few hours. I let her stay home today, but drove her to school to get some things out of her locker.

Tomorrow will be my last day to get everything in order. Need to make sure school tuitions are paid for January/second term. Buy some nice pajamas if I'm going to have to take it easy around the house. I also want to go toSam's Club and Stock up at least for the next 2 months if I'm out of commission. I doubt I will get any sleep tomorrow night.

Thanks you for your kind words and support, thay mean more than you know. Send me your contact info. Thanks!

Thank you too john'stwin. Any info would be greatly appreciated.
Please, take your time, don't rush what you need to do for me.

Dear Hurt,

I tried to send you a private message, but this board does not allow it. I will post my misc. email addy (so i don't get spammed by lurkers with ill intent.) When I get your email addy, I will send you the pm I have written with my standard email. Then I will delete this post to erase my email addy from public view. You should too. Color me overly cautious.

email: shes@theendofherwits.info

Talk soon,

Beam

Just wanted to say goodnight. It's only 8 PM here, but I'm exhausted. Thank you for your kind words and support.

I will check in sometime tomorrow, between my errands.

Most breast cancers are readily cured if caught in the early stages. Hopefully you will get info on the type and how agressive it is.

My best friend was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at the start and still lived 20 years with it. Treatments now days are great.

Hello again HM2-

Just checking in.

I sent an email to the moderators to give you my email. Just click onto the name in the forum and you will be able to access that email. Send them yours, and they will send you mine.

I know what it's like to have your child so frightened with this diagnosis, especially with the A. My YS (then 14) was terrified.
As a boy, he didn't want to "bother" me with his fears so I had to tell him that he wasn't protecting me by keeping silent. Once he was able to say that he was afraid of what would happen to him if something happened to me (he kept his arm over his eyes so I wouldn't see his tears, but his chin was shaking) I was able to put his mind at ease. I told him that I had already considered that, and then asked him who he would want to live with-DD26 or DD23 and her hubby. Just having the choice made him feel better. (He chose DD23 and her hubby).

My now XH had left 5 weeks before I found the lump and didn't seem too concerned about what was going on in his kids' lives with their mom in chemo. Stoopid waywards But my kids rallied around me and we became closer as a family without XH.

My tumor was invasive (not in situ), but it hadn't spread to my nodes. I chose to do chemo to give me an even better chance of it never coming back. My odds before the chemo were better than 90%. Chemo upped that 30% more. I probably found the lump due to all the weight I'd lost from the A and separation. My mom calls that "A severe mercy." To add to that, my chemo ended one year to the day of DDay. Another "mercy" because now that day has a positive attachment to it.

Get some rest. I'll post those resources later when I get a chance to find them. (OS is home from college, his GF is visiting and YS is enjoying playing the XBox that his brother brought back for the break). I love having my kids around.

Johnstwin - Glad you are here. My best friend was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer that had spread to many node, and it was aggressive. She had a mastectomy and chemo, and then the cancer came back in the other breast after 5 years.

All in all she lived with the cancer for 20 years, and was still getting treated when she died in a car accident. So you never know. But the treatment nowdays is so much better than it used to be.

Thanks B-

So sorry about your friend. She was a warrior.

HM2- I just wanted to give you a few resources for your morning.
You can call the ACS any time (they have trained specialists on call 24/7) at 1-800-ACS-2345.

Their website is www.cancer.org.

The Susan G. Komen Foundation is one of the best. One of the first buttons you can go to is "I've been diagnosed with breast cancer. www.komen.org

Y-Me National Breast Cancer Organization also is good.
www.y-me.org.

More later-but this is plenty for now.

Hope these help and hope to hear from you soon.

HMof2:

I just saw this and wanted to tell you that I'm praying and thinking of you through this. Hope to get updates to see how you are doing.

My best friend worked for ACS for years before going to the Lukemia sotiety and they are such a great

I've helped with several events for ACS here locally and was amazed at how wonderful they all are employees and volunteers a like.

Just wanted to let you know that prayers are being sent your way!

Thank you so much all of you for caring. Just hearing them gives me hope. AS you can see by the time, I can't sleep. My mind is so boggled that I just spent 20 minutes looking for my glasses, only to find them in my nightstand dwawer, where I would NEVER keep them! I wear my contacts when I go out, but usually my glasses for just being around the house.

I know they have a lot more treatment options now rather than before. But, I do have lupus, so I am worried because my immune system is already compromised. There have been times when I wasn't allowed to leave the house because my white blood cell count was so low. And if I did have to go somewhere, I neeeded to wear a special surgical mask..........very attractive!

Tomorrow is my last day of "freedom" I've decidrd that I really don't need to spend the day running errands. I just want to be with my kids, and in a odd way spend time with H too.

All I really need to do is call our local paper and put in an add for a housekeeper. After the surgery and then treatments, there is no way I could handle all the cleaning on my own.

I do it by myself now. Actually when I am upset about something, I always start cleaning, I go into whirlwind mode! It's like therapy for me. With all that's been going on with OW and OC, my house is extremely clean! LOL!!! At least I still have my sense of humor, when you lose that then I think you're really in trouble. Thansk again, I'll check back in tomorrow.

Dear Hurt,

Our prayers continue to be with you.

BeamMeUp & Family

Dearest hurt, my prayers are with you. My older sister is a survivor of BC. It has been more than 25 years for her cancer free! God bless you.

Just checking in and wanted to thank all of you great ladies for all the support and engourgement. I didn't sleep much last night, so I've been napping on and off all day. I'm wide awake now, and starting my countdown for tomorrow.

Surgery is scheduled for 8AM, but have to be there at 6. I'm taking the rest of the day to spend time with my kids. I want to tuck them all into bed tonight and tell them how much I love them.

I want to rock my 3 year old in her room tonight. She loves that, and I love the smell of her sweet little head on my shoulder. I will then go to my daughter (16) and have a very serious heart to heart with her, in case, God forbid something should happen to me. She is the only one of my children who know's what's going on.

I have updated my will and requested that if I should die, I want the kids to be with my parents, not H. He won't be able to handle them on his own, and my daughter barely speaks to him because of OW/OC situation. If I'm not around, I know Nanny will quit as she will only be dealing with H. Right now she lives in our guest house in the back. We set it up that way so she has her own privacy and a break from the kids, I don't think she would want to live in the house with us.

Believe me girls, I am not trying to be morbid here. Just want to set things in order just in case God has a different plan for me. Again thank you for being like best friends even though I hardly know any of you. My own best friend hasn't even called me in 5 days. She has always been jealous of me. But we were always able to work things out.

If I don't hear from her tonight, that's it. That would be a deal breaker for me. May God bless you all for your kindness.

Will be back to update as soon as possible.

At this point it doesn't matter to me about being anonymous.

My name is Susan, and I thank you all.

Dear Hurt,

We understand and do not think you are being morbid. Been there, done that!

Take good care of yourself and please let us know how you are doing.

Will be sending good vibes and lots of prayers at 8am.

Beam & Family

Susan - You have taken all of the precautions that you can. I predict a long and happy life for you. Take good care of yourself and prayers for you tomorrow.

Susan-

I'll be praying too and know that your sisters who have shared this journey with you will be by your side.

(((Susan & family)))
Blessings to you all.
TT