I separated end of Feb. Divorce was official first of Aug. I have 3 children 12, 7, and 4. They live with me full time. Dad only sees them twice a week for a few hours. I told myself when I got divorced that I would wait a year before dating in order to get myself in shape mentally and physically as well as help get my kids back on a positive track in life. My dilemma is that I have gone out with a few different guys and way back when I used to date when I was younger, I could feel some kind of emotions towards them, wether it be a good feeling or just a feeling of knowing there was nothing there. Over the past 3 months I have gone out with a few different guys, but I dont feel anything towards them. That kind of scares me. I just feel numb to it all. I did put up a barrier a year and a half ago after being so hurt from my husband, and I told myself nothing could ever hurt me again, so during the divorce, which I proposed, I felt good about the decision. I just cant seem to find a way to get back to those feelings that you feel when you date someone; the fluttery feelings if you like them, the magnetic attraction feelings, etc. Any ideas on how to get these back?

Don't try so hard. You're plan of waiting at least a year to date is a good one. Your kids need you as I'm sure the divorce has been hard on them too. You also need to find yourself again, focus on rebuilding a new life without your husband. You really don't need the distraction of another man....and if you give yourself time to heal and grieve, you will eventually find someone who makes your heart sing again. Just take your time.

Hugs

You have been D only for three months. Three months does not equal one year. This is why people are advised to not date for one year. Good luck next August.

Why the D?

Thank you for your advice. I divorced because husband had horrible addiction to porn he refused to get professional hel[p with and he was very emotional abusive to my children and myself. Now the divorce is over, he still continues to talk down to me, even when the kids are around.

One of the reasons you divorce is so you don't have to be around each other any more. If he can't behave, get a 3rd party to mediate transfer of the kids for visitation.

the healig will take time but when it does - you may not even know when

it will suddenly dawn on you and you will experience a moment of clarity

let your body take time to renew itself, when its ready it will let you know.

all the best.