I met my husband when I was 20 years old. He was my first boy friend. We got married when I was 23 years old. He is 8 years older than me. He looked really good on the paper (good job, good education, etc). We did not have sex before marriage. It was only after marriage when I found out we are not sexually compatible. I want more; he wants less. And, I have never been physically attracted to him but just because he was a nice guy I married him. Because of the age difference and his strong personality, I was always the follower in our relationship. This created several problems in our marriage form the beginning. I tried counseling and worked hard to overcome difficulties. I am 31 now and have no kids.

He could not satisfy me sexually; as the result, I found myself in situations where I was tempted to cheat. But I never did until 2 years ago when I was very unhappy in the relationship and sex was non-existence even on our wedding anniversary he rejected me saying he was tired. I cheated on him with my colleague at work. I did it only because I wanted to experience a good sex (as I said I was a virgin when I got married). So I really wanted to experience sexuality with another man to find out if sex is really my problem. My experience was great; however, my husband found out and I told my lover that I could not see him anymore. After he found out about my affair, my husband decided to put an effort to change. He did change, but it was too late.

My lover kept contacting me; he kept pursuing me until one night we got together again. Sex was amazing. After few months I felt like he was falling in love with me. I felt attached to him as well until he had to move to another city for work. I thought we were done. But, he kept phoning me asking me to travel with him. After a year and seeing several counselors I convinced my husband that I should move out to figure out what I want to do. To tell you the truth part of it was because I wanted to travel to my lovers city to get to see him (and it was only for sex; I do not think I love him).

I have been out for 4 months but kept a contact with my husband either by phone or seeing him for lunch or dinner. I feel free; I can go out with my girl friends and flirt with other men. I am not strong enough to file for a divorce because there are qualities about my husband that I really like. I cannot go back to him because I like my free lifestyle and good sex with my lover. My husband is still trying to win me back. We went for dinner few times; it was very nice. We even had sex few times. But, I still cannot feel like going back. I do not know why! Is it because of my lover??? Do you think I want my lover in my life??? Do you think it is because I just want to be free and flirt with strangers???

I would really appreciate it if you tell me what you think. I am so confused!!! I do not have a courage to take any actions!

You are going to get bashed by a lot of hurting folk at this site.(And not without good reason)

I recommend that you ask your husband to contact us directly.

Candy

You can never love your BH if you are doing the OM.

People make mistakes. So I'm not attacking you when I say how can you want to have a relationship with a man that is willing to rear two people's marriage apart? His morals and character are flawed. You deserve a good man. Your a good woman.

They will cheat with you they will cheat on you. I've seen this too many times to know this saying is true.

Your BH loves you. You lead him on. Date him. Have SF with him.
You are treating him bad. BH deserves you to treat him right.

Instead of using your energies to give the OM great sex. Why not use your energies to get you and your BH sex therapy. He needs good sex also. Get him the help he needs.

Why not tell BH you are to give up the OM, that the both of you get MC, IC, and couples sex theraphy?

Your BH wants you. Give him the chance to get the help he needs to meet your needs.

How can you justify ending your marriage without trying. There is no justification for having an affair. Bad sex is just an excuse to have an affair and to avoid solving your marriage problem.

How did your BH find out about your affair with the OM?

Candy, does your H and family know of your adultery and your committment to an adulterous lifestyle?

He has a right to know everything you have told us here so he can make his own decisions about his life. He would be better off moving on and marrying someone who is marriage material but he can't make that decision if he does not know everything.

Candy, if you don't have any children together...I suggest telling your husband the truth so he can get tested for any STD that you might have passed on to him from your "lover." Then I suggest walking away from your marriage so that your husband can find himself a woman that is worthy of his time and love.

Smells like a troll.