Hi all, my name is Jennifer. I have been married to my husband Tim now for a year in Oct. We just had a son is June. He cheated on me with his ex..

He was married to his ex for 6 years they have 3 kids together. She kicked him out to be with another man she met online. That was around Thanksgiving 2006. We met right before Xmas 2006. We got together he moved in we broke up he stayed, even though we were not together he would do whatever and I just sat there waiting for him thinking it was only due to his divorce. Well he moved out and that is when we really started things. We moved in together again. I got pregnant with our son. His ex called said I want you back so I told him to go stay the night with her and see. He called me in the morning and said he was coming home he thought of me the whole time. We got married few months after that.

I always thought he still loved her. She was always calling and making us fight one way or another. The day I had our son we had his kids and she said she wasn’t going to get them he had to keep them last min she took them. ( She was mad he re-married and had another kid she is tied and can't have anymore when we first got together she offered to pay for him to get clipped but he didn’t).

I had our son in June. He was working and I also have a son from another relationship. So I went to my moms in KY to stay for 2 wks to recover from my C-section with our son. As I was away his ex emailed me on myspace telling me he cheated on me with her. He said NO.

Well long story short.. He did. In our home, when I was gone with our son. (I think that is what makes it hurt more.) Also, it was just one time. That was it, not saying it was ok just saying it wasn’t more then one time.

Its been almost 5 months now and I still can't seem to end my pain. Its harder because I have to deal with her all the time. He changed his number, don’t talk to her as much just about the kids and in front of me. She still tries to get us to fight all the time uses the kids against him.

I still love him but cant understand why he would do this to me. He sticks up for her all the time. Don’t let me have a say in anything about when we have the kids like its suppose to be Fri. at 3 to sun at 6 and she is always changing it and saying well if you don’t then you don’t get them and the whole child support thing is so messed up. I hate that woman with a passion wish she were gone forever.

He still don’t understand how bad I hurt. He don’t get it was worse with her then it would of been with some random woman we never had to see again. He thinks I should just get over it and be okay. He is mad I don’t trust him at all anymore.

I love him so much and yet cant stand him. The sex is kind of off track ever since I found out. Sometimes I just want him gone then I think and don’t want him to leave. I want to get past this.

What do I do?
How can I make it work?
What is a good way we can work on this?

Any help PLEASE!!!

Thank you,
Jennifer

One, you should date someone a year before you marry. This way you can spot any red flags.

Second, one does not date anyone that just got divorced. They need to be divorced for one year before the will be ready to date again. In this case your WH would of not been ready to marry for two years after his divorce.

You jumped the gun and married a real winner. Then have a child with a real winner.

What did you expect when you marry a real winner.

I feel sorry for your pain, but you need IC and to dump this loser. Wait a year to heal. Then when ready a after IC and one year from your divorce look for a real man. Being that by then you should know how to recgonize the real winners and how to avoid them.

Sorry to this blunt. You are way so more deserving then this bum.

Well Jennifer...she wasn't the baby mama. she was his wife. Even with her cheating on him, his cheating WITH YOU was wrong.

You were the ow...Here's what Jennifer wrote:

"She kicked him out to be with another man she met online. That was around Thanksgiving 2006. We met right before Xmas 2006. We got together he moved in we broke up he stayed, even though we were not together he would do whatever and I just sat there waiting for him thinking it was only due to his divorce. Well he moved out and that is when we really started things. We moved in together again. I got pregnant with our son. His ex called said I want you back so I told him to go stay the night with her and see. He called me in the morning and said he was coming home he thought of me the whole time. We got married few months after that"

The foundation was the issue here. He wasn't done with his wife..sounds like a revenge affair to me. I'm not sure why getting pregnant in an iffy situation is the right thing to do.

There apparently was a longer shared history with his xw and they had 3 kids..

My heart breaks for you Jennifer. I'm so grateful that I didn't get prego from the OM I was seeing. Don't get me wrong. I want children, very badly. but it was definately not something that was right at the time. we both realized that we could not see each other when he was still struggling between me and them....You say he was back and fourth, so was my OM, it hurt every time he went back, for everyone involved...But he was confused as was I, and once we both realized it would never work (fog clearing), he went back to try and fix things with his W and I am currently doing the same with my H. I don't know if he'll let me back, but I know that I am trying to be a better person. Your H was very, VERY selfish in doing what he did, and I feel sorry that this happened to you. Hopefully someone here will have the knowledge to help you figure things out like they did for me.