It is sad how infidelity ripples into family and friends. My ex's sis and I were best friends and did things together once a week. I've only heard from her once since the affair started. She welcomed OW into her home - that was it for me. She lost a good friend. So sad...............

Believer,
I have always admired your singleness of purpose. I think that xSIL had a lot less of the spine that you possess. Ever thought of writing to her to just tell her that you don't bear a grudge? I'm not saying reestablish a friendship.

Hope,
We've finished our exam marking. What a relief.

Has DS18 any career plans?

Well I've been very dark this last week and am proud of myself!!!LOL

DS16 came home today after spending a week with WH...He told me that OW's DS16 is causing trouble at the house...not listening to WH etc...(remember, WH told DS16 a month ago that things were gonna change in the new house!!!!)
I told him not to tell me anymore although it was tempting.....I wasn't home when he was dropped off so that was good for me.

I am seriously thinking of going to Ireland with my mom in May for a holiday!!
She has always wanted to go as her parents were born there...I told her we ARE GOING!!! She is excited and we are both going to save like mad!

Imagine,DS18 is very into nature conservation and in particular reptiles and snakes.He has a few at home.He is into photography as well.. birds and fynbos, wildlife etc.

He is hoping to go with a herpetologist,who is a family friend, to Dubai next year.They clear areas in the desert of all snakes and reptiles where housing projects are being built, and relocate them.They make a lot of money doing this...

He is not that academic and is an outdoor person..he loves climbing mountains,going for hikes,taking lots of photos!!!!. I'm hoping he'll study something through unisa in the nature conservation line.He is keen to get involved in doing enviromental studies.We will have to wait and see...of cause he wants a gap year!! Not going to happen here!

It is amazing how much we have in common. Both of my sons are in college studying environmental issues. And they both are into photography.

We have a zoo at home - reptiles, chamelions, fish........

And my ancestors are from Ireland. They came to the US during the 1700's. My sis went to visit Ireland last year and found the family home and some relatives.

Hope,
Your son is me at the same age. Photography arrived for me only recently though...

Has he heard of Intaka island (Xhosa: bird island) that is being constructed next to Century City. They have a fabulous picnic spot where he can take his gf and get stunning birdlife pics.

Right now there is an inexplicable diminishing of snakes in the Cape. Maybe Dubai would be a better place to go investigate.

Come to think of it... he can combine snake hunting and hiking at Suicide gorge at Grabouw. This is the most exhilarating hike that South Africa has to offer. Yes, eleven waterfall jumps. Not all compulsory. The tallest jump is 12 meters. Oh, and this is where I saw the largest snake outside of captivity (approx 5m long).

Believer,
You and your kin ain't gonna believe how diverse and interesting our part of the world is. Your sons will drool...

Believer that is so uncanny...I can't believer the similarities in our lives..
I worked a double shift today and working tomorrow morning, so I'm having a quiet weekend....
DS16 is home with me tonight and we're watching a bit of t.v. together....DS18 is out with friends...

I have been feeling ok these past few days....I have resigned myself to the fact that WH will not return home and its time for me to stop expecting a change in him....
The more I think about him the more I realize what a horrible,cowardly person he has become....

I 'm not sure how to handle WH's mom if she tries to contact me when she arrives on holiday here.....

My relatives are from County Monaghan, close to Castleshane. My sis got pictures of the family home which is falling down.

I hope to go there some day.

There is nothing more eloquent than a warm embrace.

Seriously, there is nothing more that needs to be said.

Thanks Imagine...I suppose I should be the better person w.r.t. my mil.

I looked up suicide gorge on the internet and showed DS18.He was interested...maybe we can do the hike this summer sometime together.

Believer,I think my grandparents were from County Cork...will check with my mom.

I made good overtime money this weekend and its going towards mt holiday savings account!!! It feels good to have a goal to work towards now...it also takes my mind off WH.

I was wondering,when in plan B, if the WH wants to reconcile, does he make contact with the intermediary? Seeing that I don't take his calls etc..what if he wants to let me know his ended the affair?

Ideally the intermediary would check out whether he has genuinely met all your demands.

How committed is your go-between?

Wow! Mel is either watching this post or its God's providence.

Check out the thread "The role of an intermediary"

I also read the "intermediary thread"....I don't think my sister is the best person for me to use cos she doesn't want to rock the boat with WH..which infuriates me sometimes. I have told her to leave all emotions out of messages if it comes to that.

Well I've been dark for 10 days now and going strong.I don't know if tomorrow is our court date and I don't particularly want to know.I will find out soon I suppose.WH is the one that needs to go to court, not me, as he filed.

I forgot how much better I feel in a dark plan b!!!

Would a church elder at your congregation be agreeable to performing intermediary duties?

It really does sound like you need a bulldog working for you where WH is concerned.

What? Are you sure? Usually, if a party doesn't show up the other party pretty much gets what they want. Did you sign a waiver of some kind?

I do have another gf who is willing to help and she takes no nonsense!.I suggested to my sister if she wanted to step down from the role of im she could,but she wants to stay,so I will give her a chance. I'm really not expecting WH to make any contact.My gf, who wants to help, is the only person who knows that I want to recover my marriage...she seems to think that we will first divorce then get back together later?!!LOL

I had a weird dream 2 nights ago....
OW left WH and WH couldn't believe that he had been taken in by her.LOL Also, they had a joint savings account that OW emptied! It was one of those real dreams...I was so disappointed when I woke up!!!

PM,we have both signed the D papers...so it just needs to go before the judge.WH is the one that must face the judge.If I didn't want this divorce I could most probably go and plead my case,but I've signed the papers so it must just go through now.Its more of a formality then anything.

Bsically, I have been awarded everything I asked for...our lawyers have settled that already.

If in the dream WH were to reluctantly return for the sake of convenience, how would you react in the cold light of day?