Those aren't psychic powers, buddy.

OK lady.

As easy as it is to divorce in this country, you still put that much stock into a piece of paper?

Funny, you pretend that getting married somehow makes things more permanent. It's not true, nor has it ever been.

If Dr. Harley, or anyone else for that matter, thinks otherwise, they need a reality check. The reason infidelity is so rampant is because marriage doesn't mean nearly as much as most people think it does.


You brought up the subject of God's commandments being violated. Why else would you even bring it up, except to say that he was getting what he had coming to him?


Then either you are a new type of BS that isn't bothered much by infidelity, or your WS has you completely wrapped around her little finger.


And thank you for minimizing the pain a BS goes through by making the ridiculous assertion that a WS can understand the damaged they've caused.

Why the heck shouldn't I?

When it comes to WS, screw 'em...so to speak.

If you paint them all as full of it, you'll be right more often than not. They've earned being written off as pieces of crap for the remainder of their lives.

The only one I give any leeway to is my wife, and I doubt whether I'm doing the wise thing every day.

This says much more about YOU ****EDIT***. It bespeaks a horrible lack of ability to forgive. That is a character defect ***EDIT***

I do believe that you just stated that every BS who can't or won't forgive their WS has a character defect.

Or am I the only BS with this "defect"? I thought that every BS was perfectly justfied if they went straight to Plan D...now you're saying it's a sign of a character defect to do so?

I didn't mean that every WS SHOULD be written off, but they sure have earned the right to be written off if their BS decides to take that route...no character flaw necessary.

bullcrap, here are your words:


The refusal to forgive the repentent is a CHARACTER DEFECT.

So, then, if your WS is repentant, you either forgive them or you have this awful character defect. Nice.

It sounds like you bought into some industrial-strength gaslighting hook, line, and sinker.

You're kidding, right?

are we talking FWS here or WS??? IMHO, WS are all excrement and deserve no consideration. FWS...those that are truly repentant deserve our respect and forgiveness.

That "piece of paper" completely changes the dynamics of the relationship.


It does make things more permanent and always has. (See I can make unsubstantiated blanket assertions too )


Thanks but I'll take Dr Harleys experience as a clinical psychologist over your opinions any day.


I brought it up because a man reaps what he sows and IGNORING God's commandments has consequences. If I plant an apple seed, I will expect to grow an apple tree.





I am WELL and painfully aware of the pain a BS experiences. I also know the pain a WS who is repentant experiences.

YEP. This denotes a CHARACTER FLAW in you, not them.

AGREE

That's where we disagree. They don't deserve anything. If the BS decides to bestow such a gift upon them, they should thank their lucky stars.

I totally agree. We are talking FWS.

I don't know why you are so eager to defend FWSs, but we'll have to agree to disagree.

Ya know Krazy,

First marriage is NOT just a piece of paper.
Second most marriages that are affected by affairs continue. THus suggesting that to both parties marriage is more than a piece of paper.

Finally, if you don't believe people can learn and grow from their mistakes, I feel sorry for any of your friends, because it would seem you will dump them if they ever mess up and will constantly hold whatever their mess up is against them.

You have been hurt by your W's failures. Many here have been hurt by those they love, but it does not give the BS the right to make global sweeping judgements of people they have never met, or have only met via a website.

It is said that stress/pressure/pain does not make character, it reveals character. What do you see revealed to you when you look in the mirror and see the things you have done, and said to your W, and on this site?

People do grow, they do learn, they do evolve, if they didn't and most people didn't realize this "fact", most would not survive the first time they dirtied they diaper.

Please think about this.

God Bless,

JL

I don't totally reject your idea...see, as a non-Christian you are not commanded to forgive....we are. Forgiving does not equal deciding to stay with the FWS.

edited to add "non"

I'm sorry, but that's a completely false statement.

If you were gang-raped nearly to death, and the rapists became repentant a year later, would you forgive them, or would you let your "character flaw" shine through?

Let me guess...you'd forgive them. Riiiight.

Awesome post JL.

So, the BS has a MANDATE to forgive a repentent FWS, or they have a serious character flaw.

Hmm. You learn something every day.

All this time I thought there was no set timeline for a BS to heal, forgive, etc.

Now I find out that when I didn't forgive my FWW the day she became repentant, I began displaying a character flaw.