Give her a nice smile and ask her if she would like a potato chip. Tell her: "dear, i am sorry you feel so bad today but I did what I had to do. Would you like a potato chip?"

Just wanted to point out a couple of things.

First, your WW is correct about this

You absolutely DID ruin it all. You ruined her affair and her cake-eating. She can't have the OM and you as well. Reality has started to crumble her affair world. Plus, the OM is showing his true nature, and it's very slimy.

Second

Oh please...this is the silliest thing I think I've read that a wayward has said in a long time. It's childish and makes no sense in a "real world, grown-up" context. Either that, or it's a delusion because rational adults don't create fantasy worlds (a 'pretend' affair) to get out of situations.

Hang in there. She is saying all the things that waywards do when exposure destroys their affair.

I really thank you very much. She's still talking with me saying the same with other words. And it seems she won't leave and wants me to leave! She's nuts. Let's see what happens. Thanks again.

Do not under any circumstances leave your home.

Hang tight and don't allow her to bait you into a fight! I told ya she would be back. And do not leave under any circumstances! just tell her "no thanks, I am fine where I am! Would you like a potato chip, dear?"

You're right. She's still talking with me at the phone saying several times she didn't sleep with this man and I ruined her and I separated everybody (W and me, OM and OMW, etc.). What does she want? She's also saying she will move to another house we recently purchased (it was going to be our "home")

solitario, here is the English translation of her words: here

She finally hang up. Any advice for tomorrow? Thank you very much.

Yes, go forward bravely and expose the affair to her Human Resources department and to her supervisor and the OM's. Any other close friends, family or pastors you have should be done now too.

Thank you all for your words and help. I hope so much we can save our marriage. But in any case, if we don't, she has created one of the strangest stories of a divorce I've ever heard ¿¿??

I was talking about an advice about my actions and attitude to her.

Just be pleasant and don't let her shake you up or bait you into a fight. Don't try to reason with her, because that will be a waste of time. Hang in there, you are doing great!

I really thank you all. I'll post tomorrow. Good night! And Thanks.

If you live in a Latin country, what do you think the HR department will do about the A? Will they take it seriously?

Does she have parents/sisters/brothers around? If you are in a Latin country, it is generally accepted for men to cheat but for women it is taboo. I would expose where it will hurt her the most - her family. Throw in the sacerdote for good measure.

I realize that might do permanent damage to her reputation and possibly family relations per estáa en problemas muy graves y no puedes dejar nada atrás.

Your wife says you ruined everything. Trust me - they all say that. What you have ruined is the secrecy of the A. She is the one who caused all this.

Don't try to argue with WW. WW's do not think logically. They have an amazing ability to bend perception to fit their needs and all the while believe it as gospel.

Sooner or later you are going to have to separate your WW forever from OM. Either he gets fired, your WW gets fired or you both pack up and move but somehow you have to be separate forever.

Me esposa es Chilanga y tuvo un affair. Hice todo lo que podía sin resultado. En fin, expuse todo a su mama y su hermana. La mama le dijo si no dejara el OM para siempre, nunca jamas podría regresar a su casa. Según su mama, estaba muerta de allí en adelante.


Bueno - se frenó el asunto.

If your WW wants a divorce, can you deny it? I say this because, in your case, if the A does not stop, I recommend laying down the law that WW can continue the A but she cannot live in your house nor see your kids nor talk to you. I would hit her with a swift and devastating Plan B. A good catholic latina woman having an A and abandoning her kids would be a pariah. Very few could survive that stigma.

OM doesn't want your wife. He likes the chase. Once he gets WW, he'll dump her and look for the next. Me parece que es un hombre muy mujeriego.

Aquí se halba español so if you have trouble in English, post in Spanish.

I don't know what will the HR do. She doesn't have any close family in Mexico. They all live in US and aren't close. If she moves, how can I work in plan A? I used to visit her in another job, can I still do it? I assume so.

You have not exposed WW and OM at work. You and the OMW only confronted them at the job.

"expose the affair to her Human Resources department and to her supervisor and the OM's."

Unless you contact HR, the CEO, and the Board of directors, you will not have exposed at work. Send those letters to these people right away.

I delivered the letters and talked with the HR cheaf, he says the job change could take one month at most. My wife insist she didn't have sex with this man, and I make her too much damage, and I'm guilty of anything that happens, and that she will have to quit her job, etc. I'm worried for my children, even when she says she won't distance them from me.

The problem is, now I don't know if I really want to recover the marriage. I'm realizing maybe I'm hanging in a nonsense relationship.

What are her top ENs? If you list her top three ENs we can give you ideas of how to meet them even if you are not living together.

You are probably worrying for nothing. She may not move.

You did a GREAT thing by going with OMW to their work place and exposing. That was WONDERFUL!!


When your wife tells you lies (I made up the affair because I don't want to be with you) just ignore her and change the subject. When she tells you that she was going to work on the marriage with you but now you have ruined everything, do not be afraid. Tell her "I will do everything in my power to save my marriage." Then change the subject.

She is angry because she is like a two year old child and you took away her toy. She is also angry because she feels guilty. The more anger she shows now, the better. It means your exposure is having an effect.

Be sure to expose to:
Human Resources
The CEO of the company
Her parents
Your parents

Do this all at once, and do NOT tell her you are going to do it. Do it now. One big exposure is MUCH more powerful than several small ones.

I delivered the letters and talked with the HR cheaf, he says the job change could take one month at most.
Excellent! Also tell your wife's parents and your parents.
You are doing SO WELL and you don't see that now but you will, in time. You are being strong and fighting for your marriage. Even though your wife acts angry, she is impressed and flattered that you will fight for her.

My wife insist she didn't have sex with this man, and I make her too much damage, and I'm guilty of anything that happens, and that she will have to quit her job, etc. I'm worried for my children, even when she says she won't distance them from me. Your wife will say many things. Do not listen to her. Just tell her you will do whatever is necessary to recover your marriage. Then talk about something different.

The problem is, now I don't know if I really want to recover the marriage. I'm realizing maybe I'm hanging in a nonsense relationship.
Do not make any big decisions (divorce, separation) for six months. Your feelings will change rapidly.

Great job, soliario!

And you may not want to recover this, but please don't make any such decision under DURESS.