I got my XW's cell phone records as part of discovery in the divorce proceedings. I was amazed at the volume of calls. I've never called a girlfriend 10-20 times a day, at 3 in the morning or anything like that.
Why would someone need to call their lover so frequently?What on earth could they have talked about so much? It was like 3000 minutes a month. That's 50 hours on the phone.

They are "in love".

They can't TRUST each other...

that is so true!!

A - They have to make sure the other isn't trolling the streets for another.

B - They have to make sure they aren't "cheating" on the other with their own spouse.

C - They need constant reassurance from each other that they aren't pathetic POS

D - All the above

Makes sense. It's like they are in grade school(and that is being kind).

My FWH described the A as alot like being in high school - many,many phone calls and text messages and letters dripping with syrupy language. In one letter he wrote to OW (shredded pieces provided to me by OWH), my H even wrote that he felt just like a school boy. And all this was in addition to having lunch nearly every day and standing outside smoking during breaks.

Amazing....

What got my FWW caught was 187 phone calls to the same GSM number. I thought it was a mistake at first and FWW denied having made the calls so I had the company investigate. While they were doing that, I took the calls and plotted them against time of day and duration and it became immediately obvious that FWW was to blame. What was interesting (and devastating) is that I could overlay my activities against the call times and see, for example, that she would wait until I was in the shower and she would call OM. I think her personal best was 13 calls in one day. Sometime she would call 3 or 4 times within 10 minutes. Sometimes she would hang up and dial back within 10 seconds. She would wait until I went to sleep and then immediately call OM.

Oddly enough this is one of the aspects of the A that I always wanted to ask her about but never did. Even today it is a curiosity.

When I was in my false recovery,I asked my WH about all the phone calls and what the heck they were talking about 20 times a day.Especially since he has never been much of a talker.

He said "we mostly talked about the situation and how we should stop doing this and what was going to happen when you found out."

Love is a Drug.

And the A and the AP is their fix, and so they were hitting the old lovecrackpipe multiple times a day. Felt so good they'd do it again and again.

I think that sums it up pretty good and right out of the horses mouth too.

The secrecy and the wrongness of the affair is what feeds the addiction, so they just can't get enough.

It's pretty disgusting too. In the middle of the affair EXWW's close friend's mother passed. I took her to the funeral in Tx. When I was checking in to the hotel, she was on the phone, when she went to take her hour long shower, she was actually on the phone. Once I figured out what was going on and analyzed the phone bill, I figured out she spent that entire trip on the phone with him even though we were mostly together the entire time.

Sneaky little adulterers, aren't they?

Yes, I've pieced together certain times when she was calling this guy and correlated them with where we were or what we were doing. She was calling him while we were vactioning with our kids, while we were at her Grandmother's for Thanksgiving,all sorts of times when I had no idea she was doing this. It blows my mind how she must have found times to sneak away and call. I was oblivious.