CW, if you had really read what we all posted in response to that letter maybe you wouldn't be posting so judgementally. Second, you have NO IDEA who you are posting your drivel to. Delean-de is the most compassionate and loving person I know on this earth. She is one of God's special angels and I am blessed to call her my friend. Please go away and go back to complaining about your poor husband.

Back from the gym. Faithfully, I don't mean to be judgmental.Just expressing my opinion, that's all. You apearantly don't have anything to say to counter MY point. Telling me to go away does not solve anything. I am indifferent about what you think about the other person. I was simply pointing out facts out there. You and others don't need to take it. But I don't telling me to go away and to go back complaining about my own husband is not constructive either.

You are making it sound like you are here because you life and situation is perfect. Our lives is not perfect. We just have a different level and degree of severity. There's a reason why we are all here. Reading from your signature, you have a lot of things to resolve to and so do I. SO perhaps instead of telling me to go back and continue to complain about my poor husband, you should also realize that you are here for same reason than I am.

Hope this make sense. I don't see a point in tearing each other down simply because we disagree.

Talking about being childish. Telling some off is childish. I am sorry but it's the truth!

Again, don't mean to be judgmental and insensitive. Just trying to point you facts. Thank you very much!

Be careful about the black and white or right and wrong way of thinking...you may find yourself with a husband and an impregnanted other woman...when you walk a mile or even an inch in those heels - you think differently...

I wish someone could realize that I am trying to get my point across from an ACADEMIC point view and not from an emotional point of view.

Like I said, sometimes our own pain can blinde us to see what's right and wrong. It's been proven. I am sorry if my points sounds insensitive but I just want to throw my two cents out there. That's all. Gotta drop hubby to school. Good luck to everyone.

Forget it NT. Some people cannot see for themselves what the truth is. She thinks she is approaching these situations from an "academic" POV when she is actually just attacking people in the moments of deep agony. Once again someone that cannot even begin to put themselves in OUR shoes.

Dealan

The WH has been a dad to the OC for ten years. I say that it is too late to go NC on a son after one has been in contact with this child for these ten years.

There is no way to justify a parent cutting a child out of their life after ten years. Whether done in person, letter, telegram, email, text, IM, OR SMOKE SIGNALS.

HE WAS A DAD TO THIS CHILD FOR TEN YEARS. HE WAS IN CONTACT WIH THIS CHILD FOR TEN YEARS.

TO ABANDON THIS CHILD NOW ONLY SHOWS THIS DAD TO BE A DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT. NOT PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK. ETC...

I happen to agree with you, TR.

Actually, TR I think we all pretty much agree with you on that.

FINALLY-- someone with a good sense have seen and UNDERSTOOD the point that I am trying to make. :-)

Thanks THEROAD. I think us women sometimes can get too emotional and forget that our emotion runs with us. Sometimes it's a good idea to step outside the box and look at and evaluate things from a rational, academic point of view instead of approaching with with full force emotions. Just my thought for tonight.

Like I said, sometimes our own pain can cause us to lose sight of what's right and wrong.

Look I don't know what's everyone situation and problems here. But I don't need to know in order for me to recognize what's right and wrong. I don't need to be in your shoes to see that something is sooo wrong. Hope this makes sense.

Furthermore: I don't know where this comment about me "attacking others" in the middle of their deep agony is coming from. If anything it's me who feels attack. Last time I check, I simply expressed a disagreement about someone's action. Action that I know was wrong in so many level. That's all. I was not attacking.

Since I was told to go back and complain about my husband, perhaps this person who told me this should also GO BACK and direct all this anger, resentment, criticism and wrath to that person who has wrong her which on this case (H).

I think if you are in this sad, frustrating situation, (especially if it's new) anyone that says something about your situation and how you should handle it is going to come out wrong, judgmental, and bad. I don't think anyone can speak without that person getting attack. So the best thing to do here is to learn something from this. When you have a lot of anger, you tend to have poor judgment. Thank you!

Ok - I think we can return to our regularly scheduled programming now folks.

For Information Only!!

THIS forum, Pregnancy/Child, is for those that are dealing with a child AS A RESULT of their own or their spouses infidelity, using and applying MarriageBuilders Principles & Concepts.

SUPPORTIVE suggestions and advice are always welcome from everyone. However, unless you have dealt with an OC in your life, please refrain from disrespectful judgements and condemnation. It's always easy to say how you feel, what you think, what you would do--- UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY WALK IN THOSE SHOES!!

Thank you Mods. for your support, and providing a SAFE environment for those of us in this position.

You are the greatest!


4ever

I agree with THEROAD, the man would be a not nice person if he walked after 10years but from reading the whole thread and replies, I don't think it would be best for that particular OC to be in contact with a family which hold such resentment, it could be more damaging in the long run.

I replied to you on my original post, I completely missed this all kicking off, just to reiterate what I said...'i never said I was right but i wouldn't say I was 100% wrong either'

We all do what we have to survive and to heal

xxx

I agree with this too.

I remember how scary it was.

Justuss, as always thank you!