SF with a WW in the throws of an A is disgusting. Do you have any self respect?

I agree, BK, but above TC9 said he knows they have not had physical sex. Now, how he can really truly know that I guess is debatable, but he seems certain that it's only been an EA so far. If it's an ongoing PA I too, say no sex. My sitch is different in that my physical encounter with the FOM was 7 months ago and my STD tests came back clean.

For All The Real Men:

For those of you claiming to be the real men here, listen up!

If a WW bangs the OM any number of times before D day, say x times. Because you gave an ultimatum on D day that the WW must give up the OM right now and then.

My question is how is a real man a "real man"?

Is it because he can keep a WW that banged the OM only x times, but can not keep a WW that banged the OM x + 1 times?

Is banging the OM 1 time ok, but 2 times not ok?

Or is ten times ok but not twelve?

How about is it 21 times ok, because you were a real man and put your foot down and stopped it before WW did the OM twenty five times?

If a real man can not handle one time, or one more time, why are they keeping their WW's?

Shouldn't these real men be lawyer up and be in divorce court?

Can people at least read the thread before "throwing" bombs?

I have read the thread. EA, PA its still an A

They have not had sex, and TC said this as recently as today.

Could be a lie - he says elsewhere it is a PA.

He just needs to be careful.

Regardless why would you want to have SF with a woman who is 'in love' with OM and refuses NC????

I'm glad that you are better off without your xWW, but why don't you leave those questions to those of us who have actually recovered our marriages?

By the way, I'm of the belief that this marriage probably shouldn't be saved, considering his WW is cheating after only 3 months of marriage. However, there is expressing your opinion and then there is browbeating a poster. Keep your comments helpful and don't project your anger over your situation on the poster.

I have no anger over my situation. My advise is that a BS should not have SF with a WS until they have committed to the M. His WW is deep in an A and you should lower yourself and be happy to block this from your mind and make love to her? Come on get real.
Filling her love bank is one thing but this is ridiculous

I really, really want to phrase this in a way that is not confrontational or snide, but, why do you post here on MarriageBuilders?

Because I believe people should try and save a M where there are kids involved. I've been there and would like to help people to do that through my first hand knowledge.

I do not on the other hand agree that a M should be saved at all costs. Certainly not by a WS being rewarded with SF, which is the most intimate loving act a married couple can engage in, while they are active in an A be it an EA or a PA.

I've seen too many people settle for far too less on these boards and it always comes back to bite them. Confused started this thread trying to get advice on how to get his parents and WW to reconcile. He mistakenly thought he was in recovery. The marriages I have seen recover here are ones where the BS has stood firm on NC and would not settle for anything less. Bob pure springs to mind. When a WS is involved in an A the M is already dead. BS's need to be less afraid of loosing a WS. I know the fear as I've been there. But they are already lost thats the point.

And for the record I don't think this M should be saved where the inlaws dislike the WW to begin with, married 3 months and no kids.

Does that answer your question?

Huh? What do the in-laws have to do with anything?

They are married a few months, his family don't like his WW anyway, now she's having an A, it seems as though he made a really bad choice here.

It's possible he can't see problems for himself when at this early stage of the M he is totally besotted

Um Vladie - they won't be the only inlaws who don't like their son/daughters of their choice of a mate.

Their opinion once the vows have been exchanged is irrelevant.

My in-laws HATED me. I got my revenge by outliving them!!

Agreed BigK! But in light of an A so early in the M maybe in this case they were right?

They have been together for seven years.

They may well have been right but he's a big boy and made his own decisions. In-laws are never entitled to mess with a marriage of their children.

Right or wrong is not the issue here.

They have been together for seven years. [/quote]

Yes but married for only a few months. I said at this early stage of the M.