Hi Everyone!

This is my first post. I have been in my marriage for almost 10 yrs, in August. This is my 3rd marriage. Alittle background on that...my first marriage I was very young and it as parent forced because I got pregnant, I didn't want to marry him. Ended from infidelity on his part several months later when my daughter was 5 months old.

Next marriage was about 5 yrs later, lasted 6.5 yrs and had my son. We got divorced because we grew apart from his alcoholism. I didn't know he had a problem until a yr or so after we were married.

One yr after my second divorce I met my current husband...we were married after 3 months, stupid. I never learn to go slow. The first two yrs were awesome, it was the best time of my life, then he became depressed. Through marriage counseling I've discovered that he is what you would refer to as egocentric. To me that was nothing new for a man...no offense. But he is worse than most. Lately he has been emailing someone from singlesnet for the last 8 weeks. No they have not met. I know for a fact. It's what's keeping him going though...something to look forward to with the depression, that has gotten pretty bad the last two yrs. Yes, he is on meds and see's a dr and therapist.

I'm just really here, because I thought I could meet some friends and maybe help someone or give support. I have been told by many that my marriage will never survive, because I'm am the only one working at it...I'm standing the test of time. I don't want to divorce a 3rd time. I really don't believe in divorce and been there, done that twice. I Not happy with my past and determined it won't happen again.
If someone could help me with all of the abbreviations, I would appreciate it...can't figure all of them out.

Thank you for lisening,
Me 46
Husband 49
Daughter 23
Son(with us)16

well first off y did you not want to help second husband with his problem.you grew apart cause you did not want to deal with his drinking or you never cared for him ?

No need to attack. I wanted to help him very badly, he was in denial and "didn't need help". It got bad and it had to end. I don't get married if I don't love and care for them. Thanks for the welcome.

Edited to say I'm not going to concentrate on the past marriages.

My first reaction is "least common denominator" but never mind.

How long have you been married this time? Why is your husband depressed? Why do your friends say the marriage will never survive? Con you give some more background on your current marriage rather than the previous two? Have you read His Needs/Her Needs?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. I'm sorry that your husband is depressed. Two years seems like a long time to be depressed. I hope seeing the docs is helping him.

One of the bad things about depression is that it often leads to affairs. That is why fixing the depression should help your marriage.

Hi Believer,

Thank you for the welcome. Yes, it is a long time, he suffers from chronic pain in his mouth and dr's can't pinpoint it. He was so healthy for many yrs, now the chronic pain, but I think depression and pain go hand and hand. I think the pain and not knowing what is going on has lead to the bad depression, hopefully he will never have an affair. I wish I could make him happy and take it all away...

Hi Everyone,

I just decided to stop by after 2yrs and looked up my ancient post.
Things are about the same...but now we are 12 yrs into our marriage. I am still hanging in there. My youngest (my son) is now 19 and at Basic Training. I miss him dearly as he is my life. Thankfully, he will be home for Christmas break.

My husband is still suffering from chronic pain and depression, but at this time is living with it better. He is seeing a dr and is on meds. He is due for bloodwork...but hasn't gone for it yet. His pain is mostly on his side and back now. I did get him to the ER last winter, and he had a battery of tests but they were unable to find anything. *sigh* I just wish there was an answer to the pain.
Depression hurts, I guess.

PS-He never did have the affair, although he has had alot of other online gf's since I last posted. It's just fantasy. I don't think he is doing it now.

Good to be back.

Hi Stargazer,

Haven't met you before, don't really know your story, but am glad you are back and hanging in there.

In the past two years, have you worked on your M.. Have you instituted the MB principles. What has worked or not.

It's always nice to see that people can keep their M together with lots of hard work and commitment.

Thank you for your response, Queenies. I have to admit I haven't worked very hard on my marriage. I pray for strength, but I find myself full of resentment and it gets in the way. I'm sure he resents me too. Can you give me a link for the MB principles. I need all the help I can get. Thanks again.

Hi Star

You are definitely in the right place. Do click the word "Articles" in the title bar up top.

I find I keep rereading them. The article are that good.

Hey, keep posting, we really care...