Unknowinly, I have been doing plan A for the last two weeks. Now that I have found this website I know a lot more and I know I have to EXPOSE.

Her family is out of State so I will send emails and call over the phone.

Here are a couple of questions:

- After I do the exposure. Should I come back home and face her right away? I'm afraid she might retaliate in a very aggressive way. In the other hand, I feel like I need to be there to gage her reaction and address whether this is recoverable or go to plan B right away.
- What should it be my inmediate course of action after exposure?
- The OM is 35, should I still expose to his family?

Yes expose to everyone without warning! I wouldn't worry about her reaction, she will be mad as he11! Stay in Plan A read all you can on the subject. Be prepared for her to go ballistic!

But it will pass and its the surest way to kill the A

Goodluck

Just go about your usual busines. There is no reason to change your routine.


Such as? Will she beat you? Is she bigger than you?


You will not and should not make any plans in reaction to her response. She will be ENRAGED that you interfered with her affair. THAT IS AN EXPECTATI0N. You will not get roses and kisses for exposing. The rage is expected and temporary. You just wait until blows over and hope that she doesn't beat you. If she beats you, call the police.


Do what you would normally do. When she confronts you with fury, say "I am sorry you are upset. Would you like a potato chip?" You will not be able to reason with her anymore than you could reason with a crackhead who just had his crack pipe removed. Don't reason with her, and do not allow her to bait you into a fight.


OH YES. This is a powerful exposure because it RUINS the future prospects of the affair. Your W and the OM may be fantasizing about her integration into his family. This will ruin that prospect.

It is good to do all exposures on the same day if possible. That way there is tsunami effect that gives them no opportunity to regroup. Nor can they pre-empt you and spin the story.

Exposure targets should be:

1. OP's spouse, if any
2. WS' parents, your parents, the OM's parents
3. Human Resources if a workplace affair [we have a great letter]
4. your CHILDREN - your kids should be told the same day so they can be prepared for the fallout. You will have to give them moral guidance or they will be left vulnerable to the immoral guidance from the WS, who will teach them that wrong is right

Family members should be approached with these talking points:

1. WS is having an affair
2. I am trying to save my marriage
3. What would be your ADVICE? <-----be sure and ask this, it motivates them to become involved

You HOPE that these family members will call her up and persuade her to stop her affair.

Did you like that book?

Yeah... one of my favorites

She might think all is lost and drain my accounts. Damage to property at home maybe.

Glad to see you on this community forum as well. Welcome!

Did you get the SAA book we recommended?

You may note that there are a lot of other approaches. Some of them are quite good in a specific situation.

This MB approach is the most consistent in every situation. Stick with it. Please read through WATs guide at the "Just found out section"

Please note that many do NOT listen to us and later regret it. If you want direct advice from the principle of this site for serious professional advice, then contact the coaching centre to get through to the Harley's direct.

PS. I'm so glad that you paid attention on that "other" site. You will not regret having come here.

Carry on reading the summary of Surving an affair at the entrance to Marriagebuilders site.

Protect your bank accounts first then. Move your money.

What are the details of your situation?

thanks for asking... here is my post..
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubb...in=154495&Number=2171467#Post2171467