You NEED her dad right now - you need someone IRL to pat you on the back and tell you that you are right. You need to know that God is with you - and he is right there - a man of God AND a man who loves your family.

And he NEEDS to know what his dau is doing.

I know that her dad needs to know, and he will. My w claims he knows and maybe he does, but I would be surprised if he did and did not say anything to me about it. There was no indication last night that he knew. I would really like to get back into her online cell phone account. Does anyone know how to do that without knowing the password? I would like to get all of the texts that I am missing and then show her mom and dad.

No, you would rather they just sit on evils lap. Your wife should be isolated from these kids. She is a drunk, disrespectful to their father and a danger to them. It says a lot about your parenting ability that you would not take your kids away from her.

Sad.

I do.

First you think about trying to crack her account for a few weeks. Then you solicit opinions on some sort of marriage forum for...I dunno, maybe a few hundred posts.

Then, when everyone who has done this before has given you excellent advice, you scrap that idea and start some meaningless babble about another hairbrained idea so you can avoid any real conflict with your cheating wife.

Good luck.

But a new phone that has windows mobile would not be. you could buy a NEW phone, install the keylogger, and give it to her for christmas.

Yes you do.

1. Call her dad and have a talk with him. Tell HIM you want to save your marriage and you would appreciate his support.

2. Draw your line in the sand. File for a legal separation, in most states you don't even have to have a good reason to do this, but you do.

3. Go for custody of your kids. You'll get that easily with her DWI.

4. Get a TRO with the LSA and ask to be awarded sole use of the marital home.

Once she has to face the REALITY that hey, maybe I AM wrong :RollieEyes: she'll wake up and get scared. HE MEANS IT! Oh-no, what have I done???

Even if she doesn't and continues on, you'll have PEACE in your home. Your children will become more secure.

I think you have seen my parenting ability and what kind of dad to my girls that I am. I am protecting those kids by being in the home right now. It is bad enough what she is doing, correct, and I will not allow it to effect my girls.

That may wake her up and it may not. The dwi did not. When I left last friday with the kids, my wife called before I left and asked me if I would go get her some margaritas. I told her no. If she wanted that to get it her self. She was like I do not know if I get stopped or something would I get in trouble. I told her dunno, and left. She in fact did get her some.

Yes, I think I have...but I suspect it is a much different view than you have. I view you as being pretty darn similar to Rock..and that isn't the ideal IMHO.

Would she know that the keylogger is on the phone? Would it send the text to my computer? How exactly does it work? What type of phone do I need to buy. She would never expect me to buy her a cell phone for Christmas with all of the fuss over the one she has now. I think that is a good idea and it woudl really shock her that I would buy her a phone.

Call the Harleys!

...echo...




...echo...

And that's fine. Do you really want to continue living like this? It's obvious SHE's not going to change anything... it's up to you.

STOP torturing yourself with indecision. Make a plan and stick to it. Better to have a plan and act than to stand there wringing your hands. Yanno?

I do not know who rock is. But I know what kind of dad I am. I protect my kids, and I am their rock right now.

It already is affecting them.

The longer you that you allow this to continue, the worse they are going to be in the long run.

Seconds, minutes, hours, days...another of any of these is too many by now.

You do not need PROOF to TELL her dad.

You are very hung up on this TRIVIAL bit.

It is ENOUGH that you SUSPECT for her dad. Trust me here.

He already suspects if'n he was watchin' the bathroom door like you said he was.

I am going to work on a plan, and I may need some help from you all. I am ready to get to the end of this.

yes, you do.


Sorry, you don't.



compared to their mom you might SEEM like a rock...but compared to what you SHOULD be for them, Jello comes to mind...looks solid, but it is all "jiggly."


Example...you go to a restaurant with your kids and your wife goes into the BR for 20 minutes. SEND IN A WAITRESS TO GET HER. LEAVE.

Nope, you sit there and do NOTHING. That's it..teach you kids how to be a doormat.

I hear you when you say that you have TOLD her that you don't like the relationship and I hear you when you say that you have TOLD her that it has to stop....but she doesn't hear a word you say. You have to ACT. She is WATCHING you behavior and the behavior is that you are continuing to tolerate what she is doing. We are not saying that you are to leave home....MAKE her leave. She is so fogged out that she won't know that you would have to have a legal document to MAKE her....just tell her to leave.

You say that no matter what you do she won't respect you....NO because you have given her no reason to. Like I said...she is daring you to make her stop.

You couldn't take her phone because it wouldn't LOOK good??? What doesn't look good is that your wife is whoring around with a very prominent man in the community right before your very eyes and it seems to eveyone else that you are doing NOTHING to stop it. Trust me when I tell you that more people know whats going on that you will ever believe. When I say that I mean people where you live.

Is your name on her account for the cell phone? If it is...you can get records without asking her....if it isn't here is what you do....go to her work and demand that she call the cell phone company and request records for the last few months. I know that you won't get WHAT the text messages are saying but you will see the pattern of how much they talk or text. If she refuses...then say I want you out of the house tonight.

Give her ultimatiums that she can't back down from. What do you have to lose? If she doesn't do it and she leaves....well....you don't really have her now anyway.

You have gotten excellent advice from many people here and when someone even SPELLS out a plan in number form you didn't even comment on that you found another question to poll the audience about. This is not Who wants To be a Millionare where they poll the audience.....this is your life, you marriage, your family...HECK...its your pride and self worth. People are growing very weary from your lack of self determination.

Either one or two things are true....you are really making this all up and have been getting a big laugh at us that really have experienced this OR you enjoy the drama and thrive on turmoil in your life. I have a friend that is constantly living in drama and if she doesn't have it...she creates it. NOT GOOD!!!

No! I sat their and talked with her parents. You can beleive what you want about the way that I parent, protect, provide, and teach my kids.

How much time does one give a woman in the RR before giving up on her, leaving her there and heading 2 another restaurant?

I would think a few minutes at least. What if she was really carving a twister or something similarly time-consuming?

How long after making that decision would it take 2 explain the plan 2 the in-laws?

hf:

What you resist persists. Do you really want your life 2 revolve around reacting 2 everything your W is doing? You can't make plans for the fu2re based on someone else's dysfunctional behavior. What you keep talking about here is like poking your finger in2 the Pillsbury Doughboy - makes a visible dent, but as soon as you remove your finger he springs back, giggles, and continues being the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Call the Harleys! ...echo, echo, echo... You could probably have paid for a dozen productive sessions with all you've likely forked over 2 the PI and his crew.

Get yourself a real plan for you and your family. Stop basing what you say or do on what your W is or isn't doing.

-ol' 2long

I do nto like the drama and I AM NOT MAKING ANYTHING UP. I AM TELLING EVERYONE what is/has been happening. I have made a decision of what to do NO! I am here for help and I am taking in everything you all are saying to me. I HAVE TOLD HER TO LEAVE. She will not leave. I guess someone is telling her not to leave. If I leave it is abandonment. My name is not on the cell account. She will not change her password so I know, and she will not call the cell phone company and get the records. I may can do that myself though. I do have the account number.